DEAR HARRIETTE: There’s this guy I’ve been seeing, and now that we’re official, I’ve been spending a lot more time at his house. I recently learned about a strange habit of his that I don’t appreciate. He works in sanitation and often has early morning shifts. When he leaves for work, he walks outside shirtless. The first time this happened, I was shocked. I asked him where he was going without his clothing, and he said his shirt was in the car. He was parked right in front of his house, but I found it inappropriate.

I’ve seen him do this multiple times. He claims he doesn’t like to bring his uniform into the house and would rather just put it on when he’s on his way to work. I just don’t understand why he feels the need to walk outside with only half his clothing on. It’s a turnoff for me, quite frankly. I think an undershirt could be the simple answer to this problem. Am I blowing this out of proportion? -- Half-Naked

DEAR HALF-NAKED: Your boyfriend is being practical. Working in sanitation means that his uniform is likely not fresh -- even if he launders it regularly. Not bringing that into the house probably seems hygienic to him.

You are facing an etiquette dilemma: You grew up believing people should not go outside undressed. How do you address this? Directly. Tell your boyfriend that it makes you uncomfortable that he leaves the house half-naked. Explain that it bothers you because your value system says that’s inappropriate. Ask him if he would consider wearing an undershirt.

If he says no, you will have to decide what you can live with. People have all kinds of quirks. Is going to his car shirtless a dealbreaker for you?

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend invited me to a party over the weekend. It’s been a while since I’ve been social, so I wanted to get back out there. I offered to pick her and a few other friends up. At some point, my friend was encouraging me to take shots of liquor, and in hopes of loosening up, I did. By the end of the night, I was in no condition to drive. I asked my friend to walk around a bit with me, but she complained about the heat and encouraged me to drink water instead. She wanted to head to another bar, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to join. She called a cab for herself and the other friends and told me to go make up my mind in my car.

I don’t get why my friend abandoned me while I wasn’t sober. I ended up waiting in my car for about two hours until I felt better. She didn’t even text to ask if I was OK. I don’t know what conversation to have with her. -- Under the Influence

DEAR UNDER THE INFLUENCE: She is not your friend. Anyone who would abandon you in that way should be ashamed. Whenever, if ever, you decide to speak to her again, tell her that her behavior was inexcusable, selfish and dangerous -- the opposite of anything resembling friendship.

I would also like to commend you for taking the time to get sober before getting behind the wheel. Another solution would have been to call a cab or rideshare.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student. I am abroad for the summer, and I’ve made up my mind that I’d like to have a fling while in Europe. I haven’t quite mapped out whether I’d rather it be a one-time thing or something ongoing while I’m here, but I do know I’d like to make the most of my experience away. The issue is that I am technically in a relationship at home.

My friends have been encouraging me to tell my partner my plans, but part of me doesn’t want to. I don’t want something temporary and spontaneous to ruin the relationship I want to come home to. My friends think I should trust my partner to be open-minded. I’m worried. My boyfriend and I have never even flirted with the idea of an open relationship, and just the mention of my summer interests may cause a breakup without even having done the deed. Should I be honest, or should I just take Europe by storm and see how things pan out? It may not even happen. -- Summer Fling

DEAR SUMMER FLING: It seems you have given a lot of thought to the what-ifs without giving equal thought to the repercussions of those what-ifs. Pause for a moment. You are young. This is the beginning of your adult life. How do you want to live it? Do you want to become someone who lies, or do you want to live your truth -- whatever that is?

While it may seem difficult right now to tell your partner of your interests, if you tell him that you care for him deeply but want to hold space for a romantic experience while you are away, you will have told the truth and created a path for the two of you to grow together in your young relationship. If you lie and he finds out, you will be dealing with trust issues, which can be insurmountable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been stuck in a rut. I lost my job a few months ago and have been having a rough time landing a new one. At first, I decided to focus my energy on having a more positive mindset. It was working for several months; I was feeling much better mentally, and I was quite hopeful, reminding myself that whatever’s meant for me will happen. The economy has me concerned, though. I keep applying for jobs, to no avail. I keep seeing everyone around me achieving more and growing in their careers, and I feel left behind. I am losing hope. How can I take care of myself emotionally and financially as we approach a possible recession? -- Losing Hope

DEAR LOSING HOPE: Stop comparing yourself to others. Continue to look for work, but look more broadly. Search outside your natural career trajectory. As the economy tightens, consider alternative jobs so that you can have an income. Get creative. Cut your expenses as dramatically as you can. Stay active. Exercise, eat healthy and volunteer somewhere to help others who are in need. Believe it or not, serving others can brighten your spirit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a wine connoisseur. She knows a lot about it and spends a lot of money on it. I don’t have that kind of money, but I do enjoy wine and like to serve it when guests visit. I find my friend to be obnoxious about her wine tastes. I see her turn up her nose when she sees my selections. She has taken to bringing her own bottles when she comes over to my house so that she can drink what she likes. I find this to be rude -- especially since she doesn’t share her wine with others. She just drinks what she brought for herself. How do I get this to stop? -- Obnoxious Friend

DEAR OBNOXIOUS FRIEND: While your friend may be obnoxious about her wine selection, you can look past her behavior and allow her to bring what she wants to your house. I have seen this in practice in the South, where people visit friends and family with a cooler full of whatever they like to drink -- but there’s no judgment attached. Sometimes they offer to share. Other times it’s just their self-contained minibar that travels with them so that they are self-sufficient. Consider her to be her own one-man band, so to speak. Let her come with whatever she wants and stew in her own judgments while you continue to entertain your friends without allowing yourself to feel belittled by her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently made a huge mistake, and I feel sick about it. My best friend confided in me that she’s pregnant, which is something she and her husband have been trying for over two years to make happen. When she told me, she was so happy and made it clear that it was still a secret. They wanted to wait a few more weeks before announcing it to everyone in a cute and memorable way, which they had been planning for months. I was happy for her, and I truly meant to honor her trust, but during a casual hangout with our group of friends, I accidentally let it slip. Now she’s understandably furious with me. She said she feels like a special moment has been stolen from her and her husband, and I completely get it. I’ve apologized over and over, but she barely acknowledges me. I hate knowing I caused her pain during what should be one of the happiest times of her life. How do I even begin to fix this? Is there anything I can do to make it right, or did I permanently ruin our friendship? -- Broken Confidence

DEAR BROKEN CONFIDENCE: Your friend feels especially hurt because you two are so close, which is why she confided in you in the first place. It feels like a deep betrayal. Only time can heal this wound. Back off for now, and let her calm down. See if she reaches out after a month or so. If not, try again. Offer to help her in any way that she may need, but don’t push. She will have to decide when she lets you back in the fold. Pregnancy is an interesting time because the mother’s hormones are changing as the baby grows, and everything seems amplified. You cannot force anything. Just let her know you love her and want to be there for her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)