DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student. I am abroad for the summer, and I’ve made up my mind that I’d like to have a fling while in Europe. I haven’t quite mapped out whether I’d rather it be a one-time thing or something ongoing while I’m here, but I do know I’d like to make the most of my experience away. The issue is that I am technically in a relationship at home.

My friends have been encouraging me to tell my partner my plans, but part of me doesn’t want to. I don’t want something temporary and spontaneous to ruin the relationship I want to come home to. My friends think I should trust my partner to be open-minded. I’m worried. My boyfriend and I have never even flirted with the idea of an open relationship, and just the mention of my summer interests may cause a breakup without even having done the deed. Should I be honest, or should I just take Europe by storm and see how things pan out? It may not even happen. -- Summer Fling

DEAR SUMMER FLING: It seems you have given a lot of thought to the what-ifs without giving equal thought to the repercussions of those what-ifs. Pause for a moment. You are young. This is the beginning of your adult life. How do you want to live it? Do you want to become someone who lies, or do you want to live your truth -- whatever that is?

While it may seem difficult right now to tell your partner of your interests, if you tell him that you care for him deeply but want to hold space for a romantic experience while you are away, you will have told the truth and created a path for the two of you to grow together in your young relationship. If you lie and he finds out, you will be dealing with trust issues, which can be insurmountable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been stuck in a rut. I lost my job a few months ago and have been having a rough time landing a new one. At first, I decided to focus my energy on having a more positive mindset. It was working for several months; I was feeling much better mentally, and I was quite hopeful, reminding myself that whatever’s meant for me will happen. The economy has me concerned, though. I keep applying for jobs, to no avail. I keep seeing everyone around me achieving more and growing in their careers, and I feel left behind. I am losing hope. How can I take care of myself emotionally and financially as we approach a possible recession? -- Losing Hope

DEAR LOSING HOPE: Stop comparing yourself to others. Continue to look for work, but look more broadly. Search outside your natural career trajectory. As the economy tightens, consider alternative jobs so that you can have an income. Get creative. Cut your expenses as dramatically as you can. Stay active. Exercise, eat healthy and volunteer somewhere to help others who are in need. Believe it or not, serving others can brighten your spirit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a wine connoisseur. She knows a lot about it and spends a lot of money on it. I don’t have that kind of money, but I do enjoy wine and like to serve it when guests visit. I find my friend to be obnoxious about her wine tastes. I see her turn up her nose when she sees my selections. She has taken to bringing her own bottles when she comes over to my house so that she can drink what she likes. I find this to be rude -- especially since she doesn’t share her wine with others. She just drinks what she brought for herself. How do I get this to stop? -- Obnoxious Friend

DEAR OBNOXIOUS FRIEND: While your friend may be obnoxious about her wine selection, you can look past her behavior and allow her to bring what she wants to your house. I have seen this in practice in the South, where people visit friends and family with a cooler full of whatever they like to drink -- but there’s no judgment attached. Sometimes they offer to share. Other times it’s just their self-contained minibar that travels with them so that they are self-sufficient. Consider her to be her own one-man band, so to speak. Let her come with whatever she wants and stew in her own judgments while you continue to entertain your friends without allowing yourself to feel belittled by her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently made a huge mistake, and I feel sick about it. My best friend confided in me that she’s pregnant, which is something she and her husband have been trying for over two years to make happen. When she told me, she was so happy and made it clear that it was still a secret. They wanted to wait a few more weeks before announcing it to everyone in a cute and memorable way, which they had been planning for months. I was happy for her, and I truly meant to honor her trust, but during a casual hangout with our group of friends, I accidentally let it slip. Now she’s understandably furious with me. She said she feels like a special moment has been stolen from her and her husband, and I completely get it. I’ve apologized over and over, but she barely acknowledges me. I hate knowing I caused her pain during what should be one of the happiest times of her life. How do I even begin to fix this? Is there anything I can do to make it right, or did I permanently ruin our friendship? -- Broken Confidence

DEAR BROKEN CONFIDENCE: Your friend feels especially hurt because you two are so close, which is why she confided in you in the first place. It feels like a deep betrayal. Only time can heal this wound. Back off for now, and let her calm down. See if she reaches out after a month or so. If not, try again. Offer to help her in any way that she may need, but don’t push. She will have to decide when she lets you back in the fold. Pregnancy is an interesting time because the mother’s hormones are changing as the baby grows, and everything seems amplified. You cannot force anything. Just let her know you love her and want to be there for her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently offered a new job that I was excited about. It felt like a huge breakthrough for me -- the kind of opportunity I had been working toward for years. I went through multiple rounds of interviews, got the official offer, signed the paperwork and even started making plans to relocate. I told all of my friends and family, and we celebrated together. It felt like such a proud moment. Then, out of nowhere, the company rescinded the offer. They claimed it was due to “organizational changes,” but it felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. I had already quit my previous job and was prepared to start this next chapter. Now I’m left scrambling with no job, no backup plan and a lot of shame.

I can’t stop thinking about how excited I was when I shared the news, and now I feel embarrassed and like I’ve let everyone down. How do I recover from something like this emotionally, professionally and socially? How do I shake the feeling that I got ahead of myself, even though I thought everything was official? -- Flat-Footed

DEAR FLAT-FOOTED: I wonder if you have any legal rights to push back against the new employer since both sides signed the paperwork? You may want to consult an attorney to determine if there’s any way you can recoup anything by pushing back on them.

Otherwise, this is a horrible situation, and you are left having to pick up the pieces. It will take time. Start by acknowledging that you did nothing wrong. Whatever happened was outside of your power or awareness, but now you must move on. Start looking for a job. Talk to your former employer and explain what happened; perhaps they will take you back. Look around at potential opportunities. What do you want to do for work? Think outside the box. As you are considering all options, be willing to accept short-term work or temp work to help pay the bills in the interim. The rest will heal over time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m an entrepreneur, and I often hire freelance or contract workers to help support my business. Recently, I had an employee who wasn’t satisfied with my performance as her boss. She took to social media and slandered me personally, using foul language, lying about work conditions and discussing her compensation. She was saying that the work she was doing for me is worth far more than I paid her, totally forgetting the fact that she signed a contract and agreed to said compensation. Based on her completely unprofessional behavior, I decided to withhold her last payments, as I feel she put my entire business and its reputation at stake with her public performance and poor decisions. How do I get myself out of this situation? -- Irrational Employee

DEAR IRRATIONAL EMPLOYEE: If you owe this person money, you should pay her so that you have proof that you fulfilled your obligations. Denying her compensation will only fuel her fire. Send her final paycheck in the mail. Then block her and move on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)