DEAR HARRIETTE: I have some friends who recently celebrated a big anniversary. They went all out for each other, hosting a renewal of vows and everything, but just for the two of them. I thought this was so sweet. Meanwhile, my spouse and I barely said happy anniversary to each other this year. It was also a milestone for us, but these days, it feels more like drudgery. I don’t know what to do to rekindle any kind of romance between us, but watching what our friends did gave me a flicker of hope. How can I get my husband to consider mixing things up a bit and trying to enjoy each other’s company again? We argue more than anything or just stay in our respective parts of the house barely talking. The one time that we seem to get a bit animated is when we are with other people. -- In a Rut

DEAR IN A RUT: Perhaps you can do something different from your friends. Since social interaction enlivens the two of you, start planning double dates with other couples and friends. Invite people over for dinner. Plan an outing to a local attraction where you can walk around and talk. Suggest dinner and a movie to friends who enjoy that type of thing. See if you, your spouse and your friends enjoy these types of activities. If so, keep it going. Schedule something at least once a month.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a close friend who just told me he has been suicidal -- he was about to take his life recently. I was so shocked. He and I are close. I knew he was sad about a recent breakup, but I had no idea that his state of mind had gotten so bad. Now that I do know, I have asked him to stay in closer contact. If he ever needs support, I gave him permission to reach out to me at any time. What else can I do to be a friend to him? -- Vulnerable Friend

DEAR VULNERABLE FRIEND: Do you know anyone else in his friend group or close family? If there is an established small group of people who are close to him, you can suggest that, with his blessing, you can agree to look out for him in a more systematic way. For example, ask him to check in with one of you if ever he is feeling down. Create a group chat where you all check in with one another and agree to be responsive within 24 hours just so you know all is well.

Stay in close communication with your friend without being smothering. Don’t ask too many questions, but make sure he knows you have his back. Strongly suggest that he find a mental health professional to support him during this time. Do not agree to take on the role of therapist in any way. Encourage him to get someone who is qualified to help him. He may want to read “Hack Your Pain Now” by Sekou Writes: sekouwrites.com/product/hack-your-pain-now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother and his wife are separated, and things have gotten messy. Because it seems that they have come to a standstill, now his wife’s family has started reaching out to extended family members -- including me -- to encourage us to try to get them back together. I don’t want to get involved. This is their business. I can’t imagine that there is anything I can say or do that will be helpful. I’ve seen how these things play out: Family members share their opinions, and the next thing you know, bad feelings are now directed at you instead of the couple dealing with their stuff. How can I let these people know that I want nothing to do with what’s happening between my brother and his wife? -- None of My Business

DEAR NONE OF MY BUSINESS: When you are approached, stop whoever is talking to you before they say too much, and explain that you are unwilling to discuss your brother and sister-in-law’s business. You wish the best for them and the family -- whatever that is -- but you will refrain from giving your opinion or your advice. Refuse to gossip about whatever is going on.

Call your brother and let him know what’s happening. Suggest that he and his wife come to terms before the family makes things even messier.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a friend through my work who moved away for a new job some years ago, and we lost contact. I actually tried pretty hard to stay in touch with her, but she didn’t respond. I saw her recently when she was in town, and we shared a warm greeting. She said she had been extremely busy with work and apologized for not being responsive. She seemed genuinely interested in reconnecting. I would like to rekindle our friendship, but I worry that I will get my feelings hurt again if she remains distant. How should I handle this? -- Renewed Friendship

DEAR RENEWED FRIENDSHIP: Check your expectations before you reach out again. What do you want and need to be fulfilled in this friendship? Did you have that with this person when the two of you were in the same town? Do you believe she has the capacity to offer that to you now? Can you reduce your expectations?

These are important questions for you to consider seriously so that you have clarity on what is likely to unfold. How often do you want to be able to communicate with this person? What amount of engagement will be acceptable to you?

Once you figure that out, reach out to her. First, ask for something manageable -- perhaps a call to check in. Send her a text periodically letting her know you are thinking about her. See what unfolds naturally. Some friendships live with little tending. Time goes by, and when friends connect, it feels good. In other instances, it can be disconcerting not to have more frequent engagement. You have to figure out what works in this friendship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Another manager within my firm told me a few weeks ago that she wants me to come work for her full-time. I have been temporarily supporting her because she recently lost her executive assistant, and we work together well. This switch could have me working in the human resources department, which I have been trying to transition into. My current manager is not aware of this potential full-time switch, though, which makes this a delicate situation. I haven’t seen much progress toward my permanent switch to the new team since the first few conversations I had with that manager. Should I bring it up again? Or would that put me in an awkward position with my current manager? -- Being Poached

DEAR BEING POACHED: Since you have been working for this other manager temporarily, it suggests that your manager is aware of the relationship. You can reach out to the human resources manager to find out the status of the offer. Let that manager know you are interested, but out of respect for your current boss, you would want to talk to them about it before making a move.

Know that your current manager may already be aware of the interest, so be careful. Do your job well. If possible, talk to your boss about your future and what interests you. See if there is room for growth where you are as you listen to see what may be available in another area.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in the city, and stray cats are a dime a dozen. Recently, a pregnant stray was lurking around my backyard. I figured she just wanted somewhere safe to rest here and there, but apparently she was scouting for a place to give birth! After seeing her around for a few days straight, I discovered three newborn kittens in my shed. It was amazing, but then a day went past, and their mom didn’t return. I was worried about how they’d eat and if they’d survive, but a day or so later, she returned for them. There are a lot of strays in my neighborhood. What is the best thing to do if I come across young stray kittens in the future? -- Stray Cats

DEAR STRAY CATS: It sounds like finding the cats on your property made you smile rather than cringe. That said, you need to decide what relationship you want to have with the stray cats and their growing families should this happen again. You say that there are many strays in your neighborhood. Even so, you may not want your property to become a sanctuary for them. Contact your local animal control or animal shelter to get their support in humanely removing the stray cats from your property. Many will ensure that the cats go to a welcoming home.

For the health of the animals, do provide water for any stray kittens who make their way to your home. Know that many people want cats. If you connect with the animal professionals who will rehome newborn kittens, you will be bringing safety and joy to many. For more ideas, visit catster.com/cat-behavior/what-to-do-with-a-stray-cat-that-wont-leave.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)