DEAR HARRIETTE: Another manager within my firm told me a few weeks ago that she wants me to come work for her full-time. I have been temporarily supporting her because she recently lost her executive assistant, and we work together well. This switch could have me working in the human resources department, which I have been trying to transition into. My current manager is not aware of this potential full-time switch, though, which makes this a delicate situation. I haven’t seen much progress toward my permanent switch to the new team since the first few conversations I had with that manager. Should I bring it up again? Or would that put me in an awkward position with my current manager? -- Being Poached

DEAR BEING POACHED: Since you have been working for this other manager temporarily, it suggests that your manager is aware of the relationship. You can reach out to the human resources manager to find out the status of the offer. Let that manager know you are interested, but out of respect for your current boss, you would want to talk to them about it before making a move.

Know that your current manager may already be aware of the interest, so be careful. Do your job well. If possible, talk to your boss about your future and what interests you. See if there is room for growth where you are as you listen to see what may be available in another area.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in the city, and stray cats are a dime a dozen. Recently, a pregnant stray was lurking around my backyard. I figured she just wanted somewhere safe to rest here and there, but apparently she was scouting for a place to give birth! After seeing her around for a few days straight, I discovered three newborn kittens in my shed. It was amazing, but then a day went past, and their mom didn’t return. I was worried about how they’d eat and if they’d survive, but a day or so later, she returned for them. There are a lot of strays in my neighborhood. What is the best thing to do if I come across young stray kittens in the future? -- Stray Cats

DEAR STRAY CATS: It sounds like finding the cats on your property made you smile rather than cringe. That said, you need to decide what relationship you want to have with the stray cats and their growing families should this happen again. You say that there are many strays in your neighborhood. Even so, you may not want your property to become a sanctuary for them. Contact your local animal control or animal shelter to get their support in humanely removing the stray cats from your property. Many will ensure that the cats go to a welcoming home.

For the health of the animals, do provide water for any stray kittens who make their way to your home. Know that many people want cats. If you connect with the animal professionals who will rehome newborn kittens, you will be bringing safety and joy to many. For more ideas, visit catster.com/cat-behavior/what-to-do-with-a-stray-cat-that-wont-leave.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Retired licensed psychotherapist specializing in children and families here. With regard to “Out-of-Control Toddler,” the parent struggling with a toddler who has started hitting, there is now much empirical evidence to suggest that the "gentle parenting" that your advice reflects is ineffectual, especially for toddlers and especially with regard to hitting others. The goal is not only to extinguish these behaviors but to concurrently teach conscience development, personal accountability and responsibility for one's actions, which in turn develops empathy for others and aids in emotional regulation.

With all due respect, in the case of hitting others, what triggers the hitting behavior is irrelevant. Children need to learn quickly that no matter what anyone does to make them angry, hitting another person is unacceptable and, if left unchecked, can result in serious legal issues if a child goes home with bruises or a bloody nose.

First of all, I am assuming that there are no other children in the house. In interactions with others, especially siblings, children learn that hitting others is off-limits as parents are usually present to observe and intervene.

When there are no siblings, I would highly suggest that this parent invite other same-age children to the house for supervised playdates. In this way, the child can learn coping mechanisms at home. For example, if the friend takes a toy away from the child and the child hits in return, the parent should take their child aside and say, "We don't ever hit other people." The child might say, "Well, they took my toy," and the parent should reply with, "I know that makes you angry and what they did wasn't nice, but when we are angry, we never hit anyone. We use our words to tell them that it wasn't nice -- but we never, ever hit." Then let the kids work it out under parental supervision.

After the other child goes home, the parent should talk to the toddler. Let them know that when someone does something mean or hurtful to them, it is OK and normal to feel hurt and angry, but no matter what they did, it is never OK to hit them. Say, "Let's think and practice how you can use your words next time instead of hitting, because hitting is unacceptable." This will take time, of course, but repetition is key.

If this behavior continues, it could have serious legal ramifications for the child and family. -- Professional Insight

DEAR PROFESSIONAL INSIGHT AND OTHERS WHO WROTE IN ABOUT THIS SCENARIO: This is such an important topic and such a poignant response that I decided to give it space rather than shorten your input.

Teaching children not to hit or fight is essential in our culture and may be difficult for some children. Your modeling advice is helpful. A parent’s job is critical in a situation like this as the child must learn proper behavior. Partnering with the teacher and other school leadership is also important so that the child’s behavior can be addressed in the moment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 12-year-old daughter is going through a phase where she feels like she has to match everything her friends do, what they wear, what they eat, the shows they watch, the hobbies they’re into, etc. She constantly compares herself to them and puts so much pressure on herself to fit in, to the point where she won’t even try something new unless she knows it’s already popular with her friend group. If her friends wear a certain brand, she wants the exact same thing. If they don’t like something, suddenly she doesn’t either, even if she used to love it.

I understand that middle school can be a tough time and that fitting in feels like the most important thing in the world at that age, but I can’t help but worry that she’s starting to lose her sense of identity by trying so hard to blend in. I want to encourage her to think for herself and to be confident in who she is, even if that means standing out sometimes or doing something different from the crowd. I don’t want to stifle her social life or make her feel like I’m judging her choices, but I do want her to learn that it’s OK not to be a sheep. How do I talk to her about individuality and self-confidence in a way that she’ll actually hear and take to heart? -- Needing Independence

DEAR NEEDING INDEPENDENCE: There may be no words that will help open your daughter’s eyes. This is a time for you to show her that she has options. She might not like it, but I recommend that you enroll her in an extracurricular activity that requires a lot of her time -- a sport, computer programming or public service are great options. Force her to do something on her own that will get her to think independently.

Talk to her teachers. See if any of her classes can be changed. Something dramatic needs to happen to shake her out of her friends’ clutches. When my daughter was dealing with peer pressure, her teacher took her out of the class she shared with a clique the next year. She was devastated at first, but her schoolwork improved dramatically and her mindset eventually lifted, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and her fiance have decided to call it quits. They’ve been together for nine or 10 years and have been engaged for the past two. They had even begun building their first home together after moving to a new state. About a month ago, we had a bridesmaids' get-together, so to my understanding, they were still on the same page in terms of getting married. Sometime after that, I realized they each removed photos of the other from their social media accounts and have since canceled their wedding. It was heartbreaking receiving an update like that via email. I’ve called and texted my friend, but she has not been responding to me. Other friends are saying the same. How can I support my friend through such a difficult change that I don’t even understand? -- Breakup Mystery

DEAR BREAKUP MYSTERY: Give your friend space. She has a lot to process. Text her once a week telling her you love her and are there for her in any way she needs. But don’t push.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)