DEAR HARRIETTE: My apartment lease ends in late July, and a few of my roommates have already moved out. While I appreciate that they cleaned out their individual rooms nicely, they left a ton of their unwanted belongings scattered throughout the common areas, and they abandoned random kitchen items, food and things they clearly didn’t want to deal with. Now I’m stuck getting rid of everything, and it feels incredibly unfair that the cleanup has fallen on me just because I’m the last one here.

On top of that, they used up most of our shared household items like dish soap, toilet paper and paper towels before they left. I was the last one to restock those items a few weeks ago, and now that everything’s gone, I’m the one who has to pay for everything again just to get through the next couple of weeks. I feel used and a little resentful, but I’m also not sure how to bring this up or if it’s even worth saying anything now that they’re gone. Should I ask them to Venmo me for cleaning up after them and having to restock everything? How do I deal with this situation without letting my frustration eat away at me? -- Sucker

DEAR SUCKER: Ask your roommates to send you some money to cover your additional expenses and work on their behalf. Don’t expect to get it from everyone. Don’t hold a grudge either. Keep it moving.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is incredibly secretive about almost everything going on in her life. If she’s interviewing for a new job, I won’t hear a word about it until she’s already received and accepted the offer. If she’s seeing someone new, I don’t find out until they’ve been dating for months and things are already serious. Even with small life updates, like a trip she’s planning or something stressful she’s dealing with, she keeps it all to herself until it’s long past or fully resolved. It’s starting to make me feel like I’m not really a close friend to her, even though I’ve always been open and vulnerable with her about my own life. I’m happy for her successes and I’d love to support her through challenges, but she shuts me out and lets me in only when it’s convenient or when she decides I’ve “earned” the right to know. It’s not about needing to know every detail, but I can’t help but feel a little hurt and excluded, like she doesn’t trust me or value our friendship. I’m torn between letting it go and accepting that she’s just a private person, or saying something and risking making her uncomfortable. How do I bring this up without coming off as needy or overly sensitive? -- Clueless

DEAR CLUELESS: It could be that your friend is extremely insecure and feels that she doesn’t measure up to you. That may be why she doesn’t want you to know any details about her life until they are solid. Recognize that this is her problem. You can tell her what you have noticed and how her secretiveness hurts your feelings. You can also decide to stop sharing all of your life with her if she is unwilling to share hers.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple of months ago, I moved from Spain to the United States with my husband and our daughter. We settled in Los Angeles after we had done what we thought was careful planning. We saved up what felt like a substantial amount of money and assumed it would give us a good cushion while we adjusted and got settled. Reality has hit us much harder than we expected. The cost of living here is far more expensive than we imagined. Rent, groceries, child care, even just basic daily expenses -- it’s all adding up so quickly. Our savings are running low much faster than we anticipated, and our salaries aren’t nearly enough to keep up with the lifestyle we’re trying to maintain, even though it's a modest one. We’re doing our best to stay positive and make it work, but I’m already finding myself questioning whether this move was the right decision. I miss the stability and affordability of life back in Spain, and I’m starting to wonder if moving back is the more responsible choice. How do you know when to keep pushing forward and when to admit that something just isn’t working? -- Over Our Heads

DEAR OVER OUR HEADS: Assess the situation as calmly as you can. What made you come to the United States in the first place? Family? Sentiment? Whatever it was, is that draw more important than your reality today?

Can you restore your life in Spain if you go back? Can you resume your jobs or get comparable ones? Can you reestablish your lives there? Do you want to do that, all things considered?

Weigh your choices and decide what makes sense for now. If you decide to move back to Spain, you may have enough extra money to visit the United States again later if you want to do that. You can also save more robustly to plan for a move sometime in the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a party with an old friend I haven’t seen in a while. We were really close at one point, but our interests changed, and we started spending less time together. When we arrived, she was being sort of strange. I asked if she wanted to go greet a few other mutual friends I had spotted, and she said no. I asked if something was wrong, and she said she was fine. I tried making conversation, but she was not very engaging. Later on, she suggested we go hang with the friends I had spotted earlier. That was my saving grace. For the rest of the party, she obsessed about an ex of hers who made an appearance. I was confused and quiet by the end of that night and shared with her that I thought we were going out to have a good time and to catch up. She got upset and left. I don’t think I said anything wrong, so I have not reached out since. Perhaps our friendship has expired. Am I missing something? -- Party Pooper

DEAR PARTY POOPER: Your friend seems to have a lot going on. She was uncomfortable at the party, which is not your fault. If you are concerned, you could call to make sure she is OK. You don’t need to try to rekindle your friendship, though.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I decided to break up. It was mutual. We both had our own grievances, and, in my opinion, we’d hit our peak. I don’t think staying together any longer would’ve made a great difference for either of us. Things got complicated because we lived together in a two-bedroom apartment. To be amicable, I offered to take the guest bedroom and stay out of her hair until our lease was up. She blew up and said she’d rather us not live together after breaking up. She said one month should be enough time for me to find a new place. For context, I’ve paid our full rent, happily, for the past year and a half, so yes, I think her suggestion is ludicrous and unfair. I feel betrayed. How do I reason with someone like this? -- Ultimatum

DEAR ULTIMATUM: It’s time for you to develop a backbone. Kindly but firmly tell your ex that she has two choices: She can move out now or as soon as she can, or she can be OK with you being in the guest room. Remind her that you have paid for your home the entire time the two of you have lived there. Yes, you did it happily, but now that you are parting ways, you are unwilling to inconvenience yourself due to her discomfort with the living situation. Things might get hostile for a bit, but she needs to understand that you are not a pushover.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just finished reading the letter from “Bad Referral,” the reader whose home renovation work was left unfinished by a contractor. The Better Business Bureau is a good idea, but they're pretty toothless if the contractor won't respond. My suggestion is to contact the state's attorney general's office or check the state's website and report this contractor. They may not be the only victims, and if they have the proof, I'd seriously think about taking this fella to small claims court or contacting a lawyer. What he's done is criminal. -- Anonymous

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Your letter represents the sentiments of many readers who warned that the Better Business Bureau could be a dead end but the state attorney’s office could yield results. Thank you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In reply to "Bad Referral" regarding a shoddy window installation job, you forgot to tell them to reach out to their local contractors’ board. I can guarantee you that, if the installer had a license, the board will definitely come down on them if they want to keep it! Otherwise, it may possibly root out an unlicensed contractor. A lot of times, the reason they give such a screaming deal is because they are not licensed. We've had that happen a lot here in Las Vegas. If they are not licensed, the contractor's board will go after them with criminal complaints and liens against anything that they own to recover for the complainants. -- Fact Check

DEAR FACT CHECK: Yes, this is another smart way to retaliate when a contractor cheats and steals money. If you find yourself in a similar position, look for the official arbiters of standards for that industry to help you hold people’s feet to the fire.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)