DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I decided to break up. It was mutual. We both had our own grievances, and, in my opinion, we’d hit our peak. I don’t think staying together any longer would’ve made a great difference for either of us. Things got complicated because we lived together in a two-bedroom apartment. To be amicable, I offered to take the guest bedroom and stay out of her hair until our lease was up. She blew up and said she’d rather us not live together after breaking up. She said one month should be enough time for me to find a new place. For context, I’ve paid our full rent, happily, for the past year and a half, so yes, I think her suggestion is ludicrous and unfair. I feel betrayed. How do I reason with someone like this? -- Ultimatum

DEAR ULTIMATUM: It’s time for you to develop a backbone. Kindly but firmly tell your ex that she has two choices: She can move out now or as soon as she can, or she can be OK with you being in the guest room. Remind her that you have paid for your home the entire time the two of you have lived there. Yes, you did it happily, but now that you are parting ways, you are unwilling to inconvenience yourself due to her discomfort with the living situation. Things might get hostile for a bit, but she needs to understand that you are not a pushover.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just finished reading the letter from “Bad Referral,” the reader whose home renovation work was left unfinished by a contractor. The Better Business Bureau is a good idea, but they're pretty toothless if the contractor won't respond. My suggestion is to contact the state's attorney general's office or check the state's website and report this contractor. They may not be the only victims, and if they have the proof, I'd seriously think about taking this fella to small claims court or contacting a lawyer. What he's done is criminal. -- Anonymous

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Your letter represents the sentiments of many readers who warned that the Better Business Bureau could be a dead end but the state attorney’s office could yield results. Thank you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In reply to "Bad Referral" regarding a shoddy window installation job, you forgot to tell them to reach out to their local contractors’ board. I can guarantee you that, if the installer had a license, the board will definitely come down on them if they want to keep it! Otherwise, it may possibly root out an unlicensed contractor. A lot of times, the reason they give such a screaming deal is because they are not licensed. We've had that happen a lot here in Las Vegas. If they are not licensed, the contractor's board will go after them with criminal complaints and liens against anything that they own to recover for the complainants. -- Fact Check

DEAR FACT CHECK: Yes, this is another smart way to retaliate when a contractor cheats and steals money. If you find yourself in a similar position, look for the official arbiters of standards for that industry to help you hold people’s feet to the fire.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has invited me to attend a Juneteenth event at our local museum. We often do cultural things together, so I’m down for going, but I feel uncomfortable because I have no idea what Juneteenth actually is. My hometown didn’t celebrate this when I was growing up. Can you fill me in? -- Understanding History

DEAR UNDERSTANDING HISTORY: As of 2021, Juneteenth is an official national holiday. It commemorates June 19, 1865, the day all enslaved African Americans learned that slavery had ended and they were free. This day came more than two years after President Abraham Lincoln had signed the Emancipation Proclamation that declared slavery over. It took that time for soldiers to reach Galveston, Texas, and announce to the people on a plantation there that they were no longer enslaved, and for everyone to understand that their liberty was finally their own.

A celebration naturally broke out, and over the generations, people in Texas and throughout the South have acknowledged that day as sacred. Over time, the word spread. In 1979, Juneteenth became an official state holiday in Texas. Thanks to ongoing agitation and awareness-building -- especially by activist Opal Lee, now nearly 100 years old -- President Joe Biden signed the Juneteenth National Independence Day Act into law on June 17, 2021.

This day celebrates a significant moment in American history, and I recommend that you attend the festivities and learn more about this part of the American story.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a close friend who is also my lawyer. Recently, I have found it awkward to talk to him about things because if I bring up sensitive issues, he may turn on his lawyer brain and then later suggest that I pay him for legal counsel; meanwhile, I thought we had just been talking as friends. How can I draw the line with him on what is official legal business and what is friendship? I don’t want to be disrespectful to him, but I also don’t know how to just be friends if I fear that he is going to bill me for his advice. -- Drawing the Line

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: Talk to your friend and express your concerns. Make it clear that you appreciate him in all the ways -- as a friend and as legal counsel -- but you are finding it difficult to know which hat he is wearing sometimes. Suggest that the only time you expect him to give you legal advice is when you hire him to do so. Make it official before discussing your problems. Otherwise, ask him to be willing to talk to you as your friend. If he feels like a conversation is going too deep into his area of expertise, invite him to speak up and tell you that if you want to go further, this should be a professional engagement. It may add clarity if he signals his intention to bill you by inviting you to discuss the matter in his office.

This advice can be used for those of you who are therapists, coaches, instructors, etc. Whatever your skills, know when you’re offering a gift as a friend and when you should be compensated for it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is celebrating her son’s first birthday soon! We are all excited to be there for him, but it seems like my friend left a few people off of her guest list -- my mom being one of those people. We have been best friends since we were 13. Our parents are close, and my mom is always there to support her for special occasions (graduations, birthdays, her wedding, etc.). This time, it seems like my mom didn’t even cross her mind. My mom and I were offended. It feels inconsiderate. Should I say something or focus on the birthday boy, despite my mom’s feelings? -- Family Friends

DEAR FAMILY FRIENDS: You should definitely speak to your friend. Assume that it was an oversight. Tell her that you noticed that your mom was not invited to the party. Ask if this was intentional. If she says yes, ask her why. Find out what reason she could possibly have for not including your mother, given her involvement in your friend’s life. Tell her your mother’s feelings are hurt, and ask her to reconsider.

Is it possible that your friend just assumed you would bring your mom? Chances are, it was an honest mistake, and she will immediately extend an invitation to your mom. If so, suggest that she take another look at her whole list to make sure she didn’t exclude anyone else by mistake.

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, I left college. I didn’t complete my four-year program, so I didn’t earn a degree. Since I’ve been back home with my mom, my two older sisters -- who are both at least 10 years older -- keep asking questions about why I dropped out and what I plan to do next, and it’s so frustrating. I am trying to figure out what is best for me right now, but I can barely think clearly because my sisters are always badgering me with their own ideas. I know I’ve been a bit slow to act, but I just wish they would back off. How can I get them to realize I’m an adult now? -- Figuring It Out

DEAR FIGURING IT OUT: Your sisters sound like they mean well, even as they are suffocating you. They want to make sure that you succeed. Since you didn’t finish school and haven’t figured out a way forward, they are worried about you. They also do not want you to become a burden on your mother since you are back at home living with her.

Ask them to stop badgering you. You need space to plot out your life. Give yourself a schedule so that you are disciplined about your next steps. In the short term, what type of job can you get to help pay the bills and make yourself independent? In the longer term, what fields of work interest you? What were you studying in school? What types of jobs have you had in the past? What sparks your interest? Pay attention so that you can figure out which direction is of interest to you.

If you are open to it, you could ask them to brainstorm with you occasionally. They know you, so they should have a sense of what you are good at. Rather than grilling you, maybe they could work together with you to dream up ideas for your future and possibly come up with something worth following up on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)