DEAR HARRIETTE: My family and I are gearing up for our annual family vacation. My oldest child is in a relationship and has been badgering me about wanting to bring his girlfriend. I would prefer not to bring her along on an intimate weeklong trip because I feel that her clothing can be rather revealing, and she doesn’t seem shy about PDA. I have two much younger children, and I don’t think they need to be exposed to that on their summer getaway. Besides, I don’t plan to pay for some sort of couples’ trip while the rest of us are trying to catch up and bond.

I shared my stance with my son and explained that it’s OK for some things to be family-only, and he’s now refusing to join us unless I extend an invitation to his girlfriend. My son is already away at college, so his younger siblings really cherish the time they spend with him on these vacations. I’m torn here. Are my concerns unreasonable? -- Vacation Ultimatum

DEAR VACATION ULTIMATUM: Your concerns are valid, but you need to look at the big picture. Talk to your son -- and his girlfriend, if possible. Make it clear that she is welcome if she can dress and behave appropriately for a G-rated audience. That means no skimpy clothing and no overt PDA. Tell them that you get to set the parameters for the trip as it is your family trip. If they are unwilling to comply, she cannot come -- even if that means your family misses out on quality time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few years ago, my longtime best friend and I fell out. We grew up together and are the godmothers of each other’s children. But like any long-term relationship, we had our faults. We shared different friend groups, and if I’m being honest, there may have been instances where I felt competitive. It sounds silly -- and it was -- but part of me envied how she was perceived, especially in comparison to how I am sometimes perceived. Oftentimes people describe me as cold or tough or see me as the less compassionate half of a duo. There came a time where my jealousy was harder to hide. Our friends began feeling tension, and as a defense, I began mistreating my best friend. Though our children remain close, she and I are not.

I finally found the courage to admit to myself that I was jealous and wrong for mistreating my friend simply because of my insecurities. Frankly, I now understand why people perceived me the way they did. I want to apologize and I’ve extended olive branches, but she doesn't seem interested in rekindling our friendship. Should I accept the consequences of my actions, or is there something I can do to mend this? -- Long Lost Friend

DEAR LONG LOST FRIEND: It is good that you have the clarity of mind to realize your mistakes as it relates to your friend. While she may never choose to get close to you again, you should make it clear to her what you have learned about your behavior. Write her a letter documenting what a great friend she had been and how you took it out on her. Sincerely express your shame at behaving in that way. Ask for her forgiveness. That’s all you can do.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the past few years, I’ve been fortunate enough to do well in my career and build some financial stability for myself. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, especially because my sibling and I grew up without much, and I know how hard it is to break out of that cycle. The problem is, my sibling seems to resent me for it. Lately, almost every conversation between us turns into an argument, and there’s an underlying tension that wasn’t there before. They make little comments about my "luck" or imply that I think I'm better than everyone else now, which couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve even offered to help them out financially when I can, but that just seems to make things worse. It feels like no matter what I say or do, the jealousy just keeps growing, and it’s starting to really damage our relationship.

I miss how close we used to be, but I also feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells. I don't want my success to come at the cost of losing my family, but I also can’t apologize for the life I've worked so hard to build. Is there a way to repair our bond when jealousy seems to be standing in the way? -- The Divide

DEAR THE DIVIDE: Write your sibling a heartfelt letter expressing how much you love and miss them and that you want to be close again. Ask that they let go of whatever is standing in the way of your connection. Say that no matter what, you will always love them.

From then on, it’s on them. You cannot control anyone. Stop begging and live your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m feeling embarrassed after something that happened with a close friend. We were out together at a restaurant. When we were getting up to leave, I slipped and fell in front of everyone. It was one of those moments where the whole room got quiet and everyone stared. Instead of helping me up or checking if I was OK, my friend immediately walked toward the door and pretended she didn’t know me. I had to pick myself up off the floor alone while strangers looked at me with pity and my own friend abandoned me. I felt completely humiliated.

When I brought it up later, my friend laughed it off and said she didn’t know how to react. She never apologized or showed any real concern. I’m struggling with how to move forward because I always thought real friends were supposed to show up for each other, especially in embarrassing or vulnerable moments. Should I confront her more seriously about how much this hurt me, or is this a sign that our friendship isn’t as strong as I thought? -- True Friendship

DEAR TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Tell her you need to revisit what happened that day. Ask why she would not help you in an obvious moment of distress. Tell her it hurt your feelings that she did not have your back. Press her for why she would walk away.

I wondered if you had been drinking. If you were inebriated, she still should have helped you, but that might be a sign for you to curb your drinking. If you have had any such mishap before due to that, it could be a trigger for her. If not, you may want to check to see if anything else is askew in your body to cause you to fall.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my co-workers keeps going to my boss about every little thing he thinks I’m doing “wrong” -- even when it’s something minor, subjective or easily fixable. It feels like he’s constantly monitoring me, waiting for any small mistake or oversight, and instead of coming to me directly, he escalates it to my supervisor. This has been happening more and more lately, and honestly, it’s starting to drive me nuts. I’m doing my best to stay professional, but it’s becoming difficult to focus when I feel like I’m being watched and second-guessed all the time.

I care about doing a good job and am open to feedback, but this constant nitpicking and tattling is starting to take a toll on my confidence and my overall work experience. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep letting it slide without addressing it, but I also don’t want to create even more tension or come across as overly defensive. I would appreciate any advice you have on how to get through this situation while still being professional. -- Meddling Co-Worker

DEAR MEDDLING CO-WORKER: Speak directly to your co-worker and tell him that you have noticed that he constantly reports your behavior to your supervisor. Ask him why he does that. Further, tell him that if he has issues with you, you would appreciate it if he would come to you first.

You might also want to speak with your boss to make sure your co-worker’s constant tattling isn’t creating a negative perception of you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few years ago, I made the decision to go no contact with my family due to some serious mental health challenges. At the time, I knew it was what I needed to heal and start building a healthier, more stable life for myself. It’s been about two years since I’ve had any communication with them, and during that time, I’ve been able to work on myself in ways I never thought possible, but I’m still a work in progress.

Recently, I heard from a mutual friend that my little sister is about to graduate with her master’s degree. This is a huge milestone as few people in my family even finished high school, so for her to earn a master’s is an incredible accomplishment. I am so proud of her and want to be there to celebrate and support her. However, I’m feeling really anxious about reaching out. I worry that my sudden reappearance might cause unnecessary tension or take the focus away from her achievement. How can I support my sister without risking causing drama? -- The Graduate

DEAR THE GRADUATE: Send a card to your sister -- with a graduation check in it if you have funds to spare. Congratulate her on this huge step and tell her how proud you are of her. If you feel up to it, enclose a note letting her know that you are OK and that you wanted to acknowledge what a milestone this is, and that you hope she is soaking it all in. Invite her to dinner to celebrate or ask if she would like to do anything special with you in her honor. If she wants to stay connected, she will reach out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)