DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the past few years, I’ve been fortunate enough to do well in my career and build some financial stability for myself. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, especially because my sibling and I grew up without much, and I know how hard it is to break out of that cycle. The problem is, my sibling seems to resent me for it. Lately, almost every conversation between us turns into an argument, and there’s an underlying tension that wasn’t there before. They make little comments about my "luck" or imply that I think I'm better than everyone else now, which couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve even offered to help them out financially when I can, but that just seems to make things worse. It feels like no matter what I say or do, the jealousy just keeps growing, and it’s starting to really damage our relationship.

I miss how close we used to be, but I also feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells. I don't want my success to come at the cost of losing my family, but I also can’t apologize for the life I've worked so hard to build. Is there a way to repair our bond when jealousy seems to be standing in the way? -- The Divide

DEAR THE DIVIDE: Write your sibling a heartfelt letter expressing how much you love and miss them and that you want to be close again. Ask that they let go of whatever is standing in the way of your connection. Say that no matter what, you will always love them.

From then on, it’s on them. You cannot control anyone. Stop begging and live your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m feeling embarrassed after something that happened with a close friend. We were out together at a restaurant. When we were getting up to leave, I slipped and fell in front of everyone. It was one of those moments where the whole room got quiet and everyone stared. Instead of helping me up or checking if I was OK, my friend immediately walked toward the door and pretended she didn’t know me. I had to pick myself up off the floor alone while strangers looked at me with pity and my own friend abandoned me. I felt completely humiliated.

When I brought it up later, my friend laughed it off and said she didn’t know how to react. She never apologized or showed any real concern. I’m struggling with how to move forward because I always thought real friends were supposed to show up for each other, especially in embarrassing or vulnerable moments. Should I confront her more seriously about how much this hurt me, or is this a sign that our friendship isn’t as strong as I thought? -- True Friendship

DEAR TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Tell her you need to revisit what happened that day. Ask why she would not help you in an obvious moment of distress. Tell her it hurt your feelings that she did not have your back. Press her for why she would walk away.

I wondered if you had been drinking. If you were inebriated, she still should have helped you, but that might be a sign for you to curb your drinking. If you have had any such mishap before due to that, it could be a trigger for her. If not, you may want to check to see if anything else is askew in your body to cause you to fall.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my co-workers keeps going to my boss about every little thing he thinks I’m doing “wrong” -- even when it’s something minor, subjective or easily fixable. It feels like he’s constantly monitoring me, waiting for any small mistake or oversight, and instead of coming to me directly, he escalates it to my supervisor. This has been happening more and more lately, and honestly, it’s starting to drive me nuts. I’m doing my best to stay professional, but it’s becoming difficult to focus when I feel like I’m being watched and second-guessed all the time.

I care about doing a good job and am open to feedback, but this constant nitpicking and tattling is starting to take a toll on my confidence and my overall work experience. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep letting it slide without addressing it, but I also don’t want to create even more tension or come across as overly defensive. I would appreciate any advice you have on how to get through this situation while still being professional. -- Meddling Co-Worker

DEAR MEDDLING CO-WORKER: Speak directly to your co-worker and tell him that you have noticed that he constantly reports your behavior to your supervisor. Ask him why he does that. Further, tell him that if he has issues with you, you would appreciate it if he would come to you first.

You might also want to speak with your boss to make sure your co-worker’s constant tattling isn’t creating a negative perception of you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few years ago, I made the decision to go no contact with my family due to some serious mental health challenges. At the time, I knew it was what I needed to heal and start building a healthier, more stable life for myself. It’s been about two years since I’ve had any communication with them, and during that time, I’ve been able to work on myself in ways I never thought possible, but I’m still a work in progress.

Recently, I heard from a mutual friend that my little sister is about to graduate with her master’s degree. This is a huge milestone as few people in my family even finished high school, so for her to earn a master’s is an incredible accomplishment. I am so proud of her and want to be there to celebrate and support her. However, I’m feeling really anxious about reaching out. I worry that my sudden reappearance might cause unnecessary tension or take the focus away from her achievement. How can I support my sister without risking causing drama? -- The Graduate

DEAR THE GRADUATE: Send a card to your sister -- with a graduation check in it if you have funds to spare. Congratulate her on this huge step and tell her how proud you are of her. If you feel up to it, enclose a note letting her know that you are OK and that you wanted to acknowledge what a milestone this is, and that you hope she is soaking it all in. Invite her to dinner to celebrate or ask if she would like to do anything special with you in her honor. If she wants to stay connected, she will reach out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had an intense relationship with a special man for nearly a year, and then he ghosted me. A few months later, he came back, but it has never been the same. He claims that his life is complicated right now, which includes him being out of work. I told him I could deal with that -- for a while, at least -- if he was attentive in other ways, but he has flaked a lot when it comes to showing up for me.

I can’t figure out how I got caught up with him. Yes, he has some great qualities, but right now he is distant, brooding and aloof. I always think I can say or do something that can get somebody to change, but I think I’m deluding myself. My problem is I will give up and stop obsessing over him, but then something will happen, and I feel compelled to contact him again, and the cycle continues. How can I break away from him emotionally -- for good? -- Bad for Me

DEAR BAD FOR ME: Stop for a moment and sit still. Think about yourself and what you deserve. What kind of partner do you want? Somebody who will show up for you and tend to your heart, or somebody who, for whatever reason, is not physically or emotionally present for you?

Who is this man? Based on what you have described, he does not sound like he is able to be the person you want and need. You didn’t say that he has asked you to wait for him to get himself together, so stop playing tennis with yourself. If he cannot hit the ball back to you -- for instance, being responsive directly to you as you need -- you must accept that he is not your guy. The way to break emotionally from him is to stop engaging him. Don’t dial his number. Don’t stalk him on social media. Don’t walk down the street he lives on or go to the places you think he may turn up. Let go and move on with your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your response to “Yes-Woman,” the reader who is always asked to help because she always says yes was excellent. I used to be that person. Saying no is hard. But I learned to say, "I'm sorry, I just won't be able to do that." Then the other person will usually ask why. That's when I say, "Well, that's rather complicated. I'm sure you understand." Then change the subject. Asking them a question works well. -- In the Know

DEAR IN THE KNOW: Thanks for the response. My guess is that when one dares to push back and say no, a lot of people are so taken aback that they just back off and don’t even ask why.

We have to stop apologizing for the natural human need to take care of ourselves. When we put our needs first and learn how to care for ourselves, we create honest space for helping others to the best of our ability. That varies depending on what we have to do. People do understand that about themselves, but if you are a people-pleaser, you will notice that you are held to a different standard. Saying no can seem shocking to your friends. Help them get used to it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)