DEAR HARRIETTE: My family has never taken my acting career seriously, and it’s starting to wear on me. I’ve been dedicated to acting for 15 years, performing in multiple plays and constantly working to improve my craft. However, I’ve never landed a leading role, and because of that, my family sees my passion as more of a hobby than a real career path. No matter how hard I work or how much time I invest in auditions, rehearsals and performances, they always make dismissive comments like, “When are you going to get a real job?” or “Maybe acting just isn’t for you.” It’s frustrating because I know success in the industry takes time and persistence, but their lack of support makes me feel like I’m not good enough.

I love acting, and I don’t want to give up just to please them, but I also don’t know how to handle their constant judgment and negativity. How do I get them to respect my passion and take my career seriously? If they never do, how do I learn to be OK with that? -- Born Actor

DEAR BORN ACTOR: Some people fuel their passions based on their family members’ lack of support. They may prefer to have supportive family members and loved ones, but when they do not, they figure out ways to allow the naysayers to drive them to greater success. Is that ideal? No. But you cannot control other people. All you can control is yourself. Rather than continuing to try to convince them that they should value your life choices, pivot and direct your attention to pursuing your dream. Stop telling them about your journey, which creates opportunities for them to make comments. Just live your life.

The exception might be if you find yourself needing their financial support in order to continue on your path. Then it gets tricky. You can work that out, too. Find a part-time job that helps to pay the bills. You need to be independent from them in order to comfortably stand your ground.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a person who always prioritizes work, everything else happens only “if I have time” ... so generally nothing happens for me other than work. I always make time to do more work, so I neglect things like my health, exercise, friendships, errands, sleep and more. How can I encourage more balance in my routine? Even if not balance, where can I squeeze in time for at least some exercise? -- Workaholic

DEAR WORKAHOLIC: Start making a daily list of everything you need to do for your life. Include work responsibilities, of course, but also write down the other categories, such as health, friends, family and rest. Check off each box as you complete tasks. Notice which ones regularly get overlooked. Commit to recasting your net so that you fit in the other life essentials. Over time, you can change your behavior patterns if you pay attention to how you are spending your time and reprioritize what is important to you. It takes time, though, so give yourself grace in the process.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who never tips when we go out to eat, and honestly, it’s starting to bother me. I understand it a bit more when she’s at a cafe and ordering at the counter, but even at full-service restaurants where the waitstaff is taking our orders, refilling our drinks and bringing out our food, she doesn’t tip at all. I find it really frustrating, especially because I know she has a decent salary and can absolutely afford to tip.

It’s awkward because I don’t know whether to call her out on it or keep covering the tip myself to avoid embarrassing her. I’ve tried hinting at it before, but she either ignores it or brushes it off. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, but I also feel bad for the servers who are doing their jobs and not getting tipped fairly. I used to be a server and depended on tips to be able to pay my rent and other bills, so I know how it feels to be stiffed. Should I bring it up directly, or is this something I have to accept about her? -- Non-Tipper

DEAR NON-TIPPER: No need to tiptoe around this. Speak to your friend directly, and tell her your observations and how you feel about her behavior. In the United States, it is customary for tips to be part of the cost of dining out. The standard tip is somewhere between 15% to 20% of the actual value of the meal (not counting any coupons or discounts). And, as you point out, the service staff counts on that money as essential income.

If your friend will not reconsider adding a tip to her meal, you should stop going out to eat with her. It is not your responsibility to cover her, nor should you have to feel uncomfortable because she refuses to follow restaurant protocol. Will she get mad at you? Maybe. That’s when you can use your personal example of having been a server who relied on tips for income to put a fine point on this topic.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In response to “Baby Balance,” the reader who was finding it hard to focus after returning to work post-maternity leave, I'm going to be in the minority here and suggest she become a stay-at-home mom for a few years. If she’s planning on having another baby, it might make financial sense to stay home, given the cost of good-quality daycare. She should sit down with her partner and come up with a plan. It takes a lot of financial sacrifice, but she won't regret it. Others may disagree, but that's my experience. -- SAHM

DEAR SAHM: Sitting down and doing the math can show you what your next best steps may be. Given the cost of daycare in many cities and dubious safety of some of them, you are right to suggest this as a serious consideration. Back in the day, there was something called “family planning” that was recommended to all couples who wanted to have children. Part of the strategy was that they should look at their overall goals and resources to map out a way to grow a family as responsibly and comfortably as possible. Yes, sacrifice is always part of it, but this solution has long been a viable option.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m worried about my husband. We recently moved to a new town for my job, and I can tell he’s having a hard time adjusting. We lived in our previous town for 15 years, and now we’re halfway across the country. While I knew the transition would be difficult, I don’t think either of us fully realized just how much it would affect him. He misses his family deeply, and not having that familiar support system nearby has been tough. He’s always been a social person, and in our old town, he had built strong friendships and routines that gave him a sense of belonging. Here, he feels isolated, and even though we’ve been trying to meet new people, it’s just not the same. I can see how much he’s struggling.

On top of that, he had to start a new job when we moved, and he’s not happy. He took the first opportunity he could find, but it’s not the right fit for him. Unfortunately, despite applying to other positions, he hasn’t been able to find anything better yet. Between his dissatisfaction at work and his loneliness outside of it, I worry about how all of this is affecting his overall well-being. How can I help him adjust and feel more at home in our new town? -- Fish Out of Water

DEAR FISH OUT OF WATER: In the short term, invite friends from your old town to come visit. Bring some familiarity and love into your new space so that your husband can relax and see that he can have fun there. You can also plan a visit to your old town to spend time with loved ones. Feeling homesick can be difficult, and a quick and sincere hug from old friends can go a long way.

Next, think about hobbies that might interest your husband. Encourage him to get busy by becoming active in local events, going to the gym, volunteering for community organizations -- something that will take his mind off of his problems and put him in the company of other people. It takes focused and consistent effort to build relationships in a new place. Keep reinforcing the positive and encouraging patience.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This message is regarding “The Driver,” the devoted church member who regularly drives churchgoers to events but was publicly chastised when they couldn’t one day. I am a retired minister, and your response to the driver could have been handled in a much different way. Instead of dragging an already overworked minister into the middle of this, the best answer is for the driver to talk to the lady herself and tell her to stop talking bad about them. This is the scriptural way of handling issues in the church. If the lady refuses to stop talking bad, then get the minister involved. -- A Pastor

DEAR A PASTOR: Thank you for sharing your view on this. Going directly to a person who is challenging you is certainly a courageous way of addressing a concern. I suppose even if the negative chatter has made it through the congregation, changed behavior on the part of the woman in question may help to quiet things down.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)