DEAR HARRIETTE: When it comes to relationships, I feel completely lost. I’m a 35-year-old divorced woman with two children, and while part of me feels like I might be ready to step back into the dating world, another part of me is terrified. My relationship with my ex-husband ended painfully, and I don’t want to go through that kind of hurt again. The idea of opening up to someone new, trusting them and potentially getting my heart broken feels overwhelming. On top of that, I know dating is going to be much more complicated now that I have children. I’m not just looking for someone who is right for me; I need to consider how a new partner would fit into my children’s lives as well. Will they be understanding of my responsibilities as a mother? Will they accept that my kids will always come first? If I do find someone great, when is the right time to introduce them to my children?

I also worry about how to balance my own happiness with my kids’ needs. I don’t want to rush into something just because I feel lonely, but at the same time, I don’t want to close myself off from the possibility of love. How do I continue this next chapter without letting fear hold me back? -- Want To Date

DEAR WANT TO DATE: Take a deep breath and trust that you can do this. You do not have to figure out the way it is all going to work out before you go on date one. Allow yourself to meet people and go out and have a nice time. Don’t include your children. Get to know your potential suitor. Find out their interests and desires. If you use a dating site, list what’s important to you -- including your children. Make no requirements.

As you get to know anyone who interests you, take the time to see if they might be right to meet your children. Take it one step at a time, and remember to have fun along the way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was dating a guy for a few months, and it was really sweet. He understood me so much that I really started to believe that there was something special between us -- that is, until he ghosted me. Throughout our relationship, I noticed that he would disappear for a few days at a time in terms of calling or texting. He assured me that’s just how he is. This time, though, it has been a few weeks with nothing. I reached out by text to ask why he stopped calling me. No response. My feelings are hurt, but I think I should stop asking even though I desperately want to know what I did to make him disappear. -- Ghosted

DEAR GHOSTED: Trust your instinct, and don’t reach out again. Obviously he doesn’t intend to answer you, or he would have already. Dry your tears and move on. I’m so sorry you can’t get closure on this one, but begging him to respond is not healthy for you. Let him go.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m having roommate troubles and could really use some advice. My roommate refuses to buy any of the shared household items in our apartment, like trash bags, dish soap, paper towels and cleaning supplies. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but over time, I’ve realized that I’m always the one restocking these essentials, and she never contributes. She and her boyfriend frequently cook elaborate meals in our kitchen, leaving behind a sink full of dishes and an overflowing trash can. They use up the supplies I buy without replacing them, and it’s starting to feel really unfair. I’ve tried to hint at the situation by mentioning when we’re out of things, but she either ignores it or waits for me to buy them again. I don’t want to be passive-aggressive, but I also don’t want to keep footing the bill for everything. How can I address this issue without creating tension in our living situation? -- Taking Advantage

DEAR TAKING ADVANTAGE: Now is the time to be strong and clear. You have to tell your roommate directly that she has to contribute to household costs and chores. Point out that she has never purchased any of the items that are shared for the apartment. Additionally, she doesn’t clean up after herself -- and it’s worse when the boyfriend is there. Tell her that her disregard for you and your shared space has to end. If you think she’d be amenable (and would actually follow through), offer to buy the items and let her reimburse you.

Don’t worry about creating tension; it’s already there. Stand up for yourself and kindly require that she do her part. If she refuses, stop sharing the items. Stash them among your possessions (under lock and key if necessary), and pull them out only as you need them. When she has no toilet paper on an ongoing basis, she will probably get the message!

DEAR HARRIETTE I just read your response to “TV Addict,” the letter-writer who was obsessed with watching television. I think there's more to the solution than simple self-determination. For a long time, I also watched TV all day, and what it was about was avoidance of what was going on in my real life. I watched TV to forget that work wasn't going well or that I was lonely. My suggestion to the author is to look inward and assess your life to see what's causing you to want to live in other people's stories instead of your own. Maybe the author needs to work on developing friendships, seeing a therapist or creating a social calendar, for example.

I always appreciate your columns and get a lot of joy out of reading them. -- Been There

DEAR BEEN THERE: Thank you for your thoughtful response to a problem that has become chronic in our culture. There is even a name for it: binge watching. Your deeper point is important to contemplate. Why are so many of us fixated on TV, video games, social media, etc. rather than fully living our lives? Food for thought!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved back to my hometown. After college, I moved to Georgia to teach. I didn’t really know anyone there. I had a few estranged cousins I rekindled with, and I made friends with some of my co-workers, but that was about it. I lived in Georgia for three years before the loneliness started weighing on me, so I decided to move back home to Florida. Lucky for me, a few of my college friends had moved there post-grad, so the decision to move home felt easy for me. Now that I’m home, though, it’s nothing like what I expected. Despite being in the same city, my friends seem to have their own grooves. They say they are happy I’m here, but it doesn’t always feel that way. I still feel alone and even left out sometimes. I don’t always get invited to all of their plans, and no one offered to help me or visit me as I moved into my new place. Is our friendship past the honeymoon phase? -- Lonely

DEAR LONELY: Sadly, you cannot count on other people for your happiness, no matter what your history may be. You have to find ways to fill your cup and be self-sufficient. Note that you moved home after several years, which means years of your friends who remained at home continuing to fortify their bonds and building a life together. You are an outsider. It’s natural that you wouldn’t be invited to everything. That’s not a slight; it’s just life. Stop being upset or insecure. Create opportunities to get together with your friends, and go out and meet some new people. You are responsible for your life and your state of being.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a guy online recently. I’m sort of old-school, so I’m not the biggest advocate for online dating. Generally speaking, I prefer in-person meetings, but I have heard that the online route has worked for some people. This guy and I have a few mutual followers, and he’s a photographer, so that may be how we ended up on each other’s pages. He would do some mild flirtation (such as sending cute emojis via DM or in response to my posts), and then that graduated to flirtatious and curious conversation (fewer emojis, more compliments and inquiries about my interests and whereabouts). I am a woman of faith, and I feel some strong conviction that this man may become my husband. I don’t know what it is about him that makes me feel so strongly. I’ve never felt so convinced before. Is it crazy to trust my gut? How can you discern what the heart wants versus what God wants? -- Internet Wife

DEAR INTERNET WIFE: Have you physically met this man yet? I am concerned that you are forking over all your emotions to someone you don’t really know. Slow down. Meet the man first -- ideally in a public setting. Get to see what he’s like when you are face to face. You can remain genuinely interested in him, but go slowly so that you can get to know him and discover if you two are compatible.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)