DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is currently visiting his family in South Africa, and ever since he got there, he’s stopped calling and texting me regularly. Normally, he’s a great communicator, and we talk and text throughout the day, so this sudden change has caught me off guard. I understand that we’re in different time zones right now, and I know he’s likely busy spending time with his family, but I can’t shake the feeling that if I were a genuine priority, he would still make an effort to call or text me, even just a quick message to check in.
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The few times we’ve communicated during his trip have mostly been because I’ve initiated contact. While he’ll respond, it’s not with the same enthusiasm as before. This has made me feel desperate and clingy, and I hate feeling this way. I don’t want to be that person who constantly needs reassurance or feels like they’re chasing their partner for attention, but I can’t help but wonder if this is a red flag in our relationship or if I’m overthinking the situation. Is it fair to expect him to maintain the same level of communication while he’s abroad, or am I being unreasonable? How do I approach this without coming across as overly needy or insecure? -- Missing Him
DEAR MISSING HIM: Calm down and do nothing. Rather than doubting everything about your relationship, believe that he is legitimately busy. When he comes back, listen to what he shares about his trip. Then let him know that you missed him a lot and wished that he had kept in touch better. Ask him to make the effort to stay connected if he ever goes away again because that is important to you.