DEAR HARRIETTE: After the presidential election, I learned that my roommate and I do not share political views. I am sad now, and she is elated, and it is really hard to move forward. We argue whenever we talk. We have such different opinions about our world and our politics. I feel like it isn’t safe to be in my house because the way we think is so different. When I come home, I want to be able to relax. I want to move out, but it can’t happen for a few months. How can I deal with her until that time, and is it even worth it to talk to her since we have such different beliefs about the future? -- Political Differences

DEAR POLITICAL DIFFERENCES: I appreciate your conundrum, and I believe you can live through it. The great news about living in the United States is that we are supposed to be able to agree to disagree. No matter how heated things may become, we are supposed to be able to live side by side with people who don’t share our views. In practice, that can be tough.

Start by bringing up the elephant in the room. Express your feelings of discomfort, and tell your roommate that you are having a hard time grappling with your different worldviews. Ask her if you can agree to keep your conversations to neutral topics rather than lighting on incendiary issues. Agree to turn the page, so to speak, when an argument is beginning. You can also let her know your plans to move out. During the time that you have to be there, agree to be civil with each other.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a three-bedroom apartment in New York City with two roommates I found online. For the most part, we’ve managed to get along well and coexist peacefully. However, a few months ago, one of my roommates got a dog, and while I was initially OK with it, the situation spiraled out of control quickly.

At first, I was excited about having a pet in the apartment. I’m a dog lover, and I didn’t think twice about welcoming the new addition. Unfortunately, it’s become clear that my roommate’s dog isn’t well-trained at all. He regularly has accidents inside the apartment, which my roommate doesn’t always clean up right away, leaving an unpleasant smell throughout the common areas. To make matters worse, the dog has also been destructive. He’s chewed up several pieces of our furniture in the living room, including the arm of our couch and one of the coffee table legs, not to mention clawing at the carpet. My roommate hasn’t shown any interest in training the dog nor in contributing to replace or repair the things he’s destroyed. How can I address this in a way that encourages my roommate to take responsibility for her dog’s behavior? -- Roommate Drama

DEAR ROOMMATE DRAMA: Create a list of concerns that you have, preferably for all roommates -- including yourself. Call a meeting. Bring up your issues, starting with the easier ones first, like kitchen and bathroom duties. Then move on to the dog and address those problems directly. Suggest that your roommate train her dog and clean up after it immediately -- or else. You and your other roommate -- and potentially your landlord -- will have to put your collective foot down to let this roommate know that there will be consequences.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am currently working hard to complete my MBA degree, but the people around me are telling me to stop because of financial constraints. They say I should take a break to avoid the stress and costs. I’ve been juggling work almost day and night to make this happen, determined to finish my degree. I even have plans to pursue a Ph.D. afterward, which is a dream I’ve had for a long time. It’s been challenging, but I believe it will be worth it in the end. Still, their constant discouragement is starting to wear on me. They think I’m pushing myself too hard and that I should settle for less. Should I keep going with my goals, or should I consider their advice and take a step back? -- Pursuit Pressure

DEAR PURSUIT PRESSURE: Have you created a plan for your life that looks at the next five to 10 years? If not, do so now. Envision what you want for your life and how your education figures in to your goals. Determine what benefits you believe the MBA will offer you in terms of opportunity and earning power. Similarly, what value will the Ph.D. offer you? Often, that degree can create job security in the education field if you want to teach at a college or university, but there are other applications as well.

After your assessment of the future, review the sacrifices you are making now. Are they worth it? Are you compromising your health? Can you surround yourself with people who support you rather than try to break you down? Having a team of people who are honest cheerleaders is key as you build your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend, “Dia,” has been told by her in-laws that she should buy a brand-new car, as she and their son just got married. They believe a new car is fitting for their new life together and have been insisting on it. However, Dia feels that a secondhand car is more realistic, especially since her husband just started a new job. She’s trying to manage their finances responsibly, but her in-laws continue to pressure her. They seem to think that buying a new car will reflect well on the family, and they’re not considering the financial strain it could cause. Dia is feeling torn, caught between respecting her in-laws’ wishes and staying true to her own budget. She’s worried that saying no might strain her relationship with them. Should she stand by her decision, or is it better to try to please them? -- In-Law Expectations

DEAR IN-LAW EXPECTATIONS: This is what I would say to Dia: What’s most important is for you and your husband to be on the same page. Take a good look at your family budget. How much money are you two earning? What expenses do you have? What financial goals are on the horizon? What can you afford to spend on a car? Base your decision on all of these factors. Do not let your in-laws persuade you to overextend yourselves financially to keep up appearances.

If they persist, invite them to purchase a car for you as a belated wedding present. Otherwise, do your best to ignore their entreaties and build your life with your husband based on your plans, not their projections.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the youngest of five siblings, and although we’re all adults now, I feel like my older siblings still see me as the baby of the family. No matter how much I accomplish, they continue to treat me like I’m inexperienced or don’t know what I’m doing. It feels like they’ll never see me as a capable adult even though I have a career, a home and a family of my own. One area where this is especially frustrating is in the kitchen. Every time we have a family gathering, they make jokes about how I can’t cook, or they say things like, "Why don’t you let one of us handle it?" I know they’re trying to be lighthearted, but it’s hurtful and makes me feel like they don’t believe I’m competent.

What’s worse is that they frequently criticize my parenting. I have two wonderful sons who are thriving, yet my siblings always seem to find something to correct or comment on when it comes to how I raise them. I love my family, and I know they care about me, but this dynamic is exhausting and undermines my confidence. How can I assert myself and help my siblings recognize that I’m fully capable in both my cooking and my parenting without causing a rift in our family? -- Baby No More

DEAR BABY NO MORE: I consistently hear this complaint from youngest children. This seems like an uphill battle, as you have described, because your family members are relying on ingrained beliefs rather than reality. What you can do is change your attitude toward them. Do your best to stop needing your family’s approval. Participate as you see fit in family activities, but don’t wait for their accolades. If they diss you, encourage them to eat your food and get to know your children rather than criticizing everything. When they start in on you, walk away. Don’t give them space to disparage you to your face.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I noted the letter by “Make a Choice,” regarding a young person’s desire to go to college out of state rather than the more affordable in-state school. The letter didn’t say, but I assume the two schools are similar in reputation and offerings. I had the identical problem. My oldest daughter (the golden child) had qualifications that would have let her go wherever she wanted. She thought she needed to leave Virginia. One state school that accepted her was the University of Virginia. Although a state school, it ranks with the Ivy League. I let it play out, hoping she’d make the right decision on her own. It was not going that way. Finally, I told her, “You’ve been accepted to one of the finest schools in the country. We can afford to send you there without a lifestyle change. Here’s my offer: You go to UVA for your four-year undergrad degree. If you want or need to go anywhere else for further education, I will pay for it.” She went to and LOVED her state school -- so much so that her decision to become a doctor, which again came with assorted high-priced out-of-state schools, was fulfilled when she decided to stay at UVA for med school.

I would have encouraged her to leave if her out-of-state school choice had been far superior, but it wasn’t. I think the folks in your letter could have thought about it on that basis. -- Practical Dad

DEAR PRACTICAL DAD: Your insights are spot-on. How you guided your daughter was respectful and uplifting. Thanks for sharing!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)