DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is incredibly stingy. We get along well in many ways, but when it comes to money, he’s not what I expected. He never offers to pay for our dates. It’s not that I mind splitting the bill sometimes, but I’ve noticed that he never makes any effort to treat me, even on special occasions. He’s also extremely reluctant to share anything. If we’re out to eat, he won’t offer me a sip of his drink or a bite of his meal, which feels selfish. I’m not the type to demand material things, but I do expect a certain level of generosity and a willingness to share in a relationship.

Growing up, I saw my parents model a different type of relationship: My dad was always a gentleman, taking care of my mom and showing his affection through little acts of giving, whether it was paying for dinner or simply being thoughtful. Seeing my boyfriend behave so differently from what I’m used to has made me question whether he truly cares about me. I know that people show love in different ways, but it’s hard not to feel like his stinginess is a reflection of his feelings for me. I fear this might be a shallow concern because it revolves around money. Am I overreacting, or is this something I should be more concerned about? -- Stingy Boyfriend

DEAR STINGY BOYFRIEND: Your boyfriend clearly grew up with different ideas about how to behave in a relationship. Tell him a story about your father and how he treated your mother. Describe what thoughtfulness looked like to you. Ask him why he never treats you to meals or contributes financially. Listen to learn his thinking, and ask him if he would consider being more generous.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend, “Clark,” and I have been living together for two years now, and while I love him, I’m starting to feel overwhelmed by the household chores. I’m 26 and work full time at a coffee shop, while Clark works in IT. Despite our busy schedules, I often find myself doing most of the tasks because he tends to say "later" when I ask for help. It feels like he doesn’t hear my cries for help anymore, and I can’t rest my mind until everything is done. This has led to multiple fights, and it’s becoming increasingly frustrating for me. I would appreciate small gestures, like flowers or little surprises, to show he cares. I want to find a way to share the responsibilities more fairly and reconnect with him. -- Overwhelmed at Home

DEAR OVERWHELMED AT HOME: Call a family meeting -- something I recommend that you institute once a week so that you have a consistent time to talk about any family business, good and bad. Tell him you want to talk about how it’s going since you have been living together. Point out a few great aspects of the dynamic. Then turn to the challenges. Explain that you believe he expects you to do all things home-related, and you are unwilling to do that. You believe division of duties should be practical and helpful. If he remains unwilling to help, tell him that he will need to contribute to the cost of a housekeeper, because you did not sign up to be his maid. Make a budget for that, and hire someone.

On a different occasion, tell him you are missing the romance in your relationship. Encourage him to do some spontaneous small gestures like bringing you flowers, inviting you for a walk or buying you a small gift. Figure out what makes him happy, and be ready to do that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in my early 30s, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed of having kids. My husband, however, is not on the same page -- he’s made it clear that he’s not ready for children and may never be.

I tried to respect my husband’s feelings, but as time passed, my anxiety about waiting grew stronger. Eventually, I decided to freeze my eggs at a fertility clinic -- without telling him. I felt like it was the only way to give myself the option of having children in the future without pressuring him right now. At first, I thought I could keep this secret, but the guilt is becoming unbearable. I’m worried that if I tell him, it will hurt our relationship or even break us apart, but hiding this feels wrong. Should I be honest with him about what I’ve done, or is it better to keep this to myself? -- Guilty Conscience

DEAR GUILTY CONSCIENCE: You need to tell your husband. Expect that he will be upset, and use the time to let him understand how serious you are about having children. Know, however, that he may feel like you broke the trust between you as you knew going into the marriage that he didn’t want children. Tell him your intention was not to dishonor him, but, because you are still a young couple, you believe there is a chance somewhere down the line that you both will want children. You understand your own biological clock and wanted to ensure that you were ready, should the time come.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I have been married for 19 years, and while we have a strong relationship, I can’t shake the feeling that the romance is fading. The rift between us started when she got a promotion at work. Suddenly, she began acting like she calls all the shots, even at home, which feels emasculating. To add to the stress, I recently lost my job and have been job hunting; with five kids to care for, we’re both feeling overwhelmed. We’re so busy managing our responsibilities that we barely have time for each other anymore, and I really miss the excitement we used to share. I want to find a way to reconnect and reignite the spark in our relationship. What’s the best way to approach this conversation so we can communicate openly without feeling pressured or inadequate? -- Romance Revival

DEAR ROMANCE REVIVAL: Changes in employment can definitely shift feelings of power at home. Combining that with a shift in how much time your wife has to devote to you given her new schedule and you having more time at home due to your new situation can certainly lead to less time for intimacy. Instead of searching for words, pivot a bit by choosing to do something romantic. Plan a date with your wife, even if it is at home, where you cook the meal and tend to her. Tell her how much you miss her and are excited about spending this moment together. Take things slow, and let her see that you appreciate her and want to be together. Arrange for your children to have something else to do so that you can be alone for a period of time. Be together with no pressure. Give your wife space to unwind and be at ease. If she wants to talk, invite her to share her feelings, and you do the same. But if that evening is just for closeness, don’t do so much talking. Reserve the conversation for later, and enjoy the moment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for 10 years. When we first got together, he was active and in great shape. Over the years, he has gained a significant amount of weight, and his chronic obesity has now become a huge wedge in our relationship. I still love him deeply, but this drastic change in his health has impacted many aspects of our lives, and I find myself growing frustrated.

One of the hardest parts is watching him struggle to play an active role in the lives of our two young sons. They’re energetic and full of life, always wanting to run around, play sports or simply spend time outdoors. Unfortunately, because of his weight, my husband often can’t keep up with them. What’s most frustrating is that I’ve tried to talk to him about his health, but he becomes defensive and shuts down the conversation. I’ve suggested we make lifestyle changes together, like cooking healthier meals, going for walks as a family or finding fun ways to get active, but he doesn’t seem motivated to make any lasting changes. How can I encourage him to take his health seriously without making him feel attacked? -- Fat Dad

DEAR FAT DAD: Have a serious conversation with your husband. Tell him you are worried about his health and the future of the family. Remind him of how much you need and love him and that he has demonstrated that he has significant limitations based on his current size. Encourage him to have a physical and talk to a doctor about his health. Assure him you don’t mean to be critical, but you do mean to save his life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have five beautiful daughters. Raising five children is no small task, but we’ve been fortunate enough to be able to support them financially and emotionally. I feel grateful for the family we’ve built, and I think we’re at a point where we need to focus on providing the best possible future for our daughters. The problem is that my husband isn’t quite ready to close that chapter. He has always dreamed of having a son, and he hasn’t let go of that hope. Every time we talk about the future and whether we should stop having children, he brings up how much he wants a boy. It’s something he’s been open about since we first started our family, and after five daughters, it’s still his wish.

I understand where he’s coming from, but after five pregnancies, I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. I’ve come to terms with the fact that having a son might not be in the cards for us. I truly believe that if it was meant to happen, it would have by now. I see our daughters as a blessing, and I’ve accepted that this is the family God intended for us to have. How can we come to an agreement on this without causing resentment or regret on either side? -- A Boy

DEAR A BOY: Go to your OB-GYN and get advice and input on the odds that you will have a boy and, more importantly, the safety of you having another child -- both physically and emotionally. If your doctor agrees that now is not the best moment for you to get pregnant, schedule a time for your husband to join a consultation with the doctor to hear those reservations firsthand.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)