DEAR HARRIETTE: My sisters and I are trying to figure out the best way to move forward with our dad’s care. Up until recently, he was living independently and doing quite well on his own. He’s always been a strong and self-sufficient person, so we never really worried too much about him being alone. However, everything changed when he had a stroke a few weeks ago.

The stroke was a serious wake-up call for all of us. It’s been hard to see our dad, who’s always been so active and full of life, now struggling with his health and his ability to care for himself. While he’s made some progress in his recovery, it’s clear that he’s no longer able to live on his own. He needs help with daily activities like cooking, cleaning and even getting around. The reality is that he’ll need ongoing care and support, which has left my sisters and me with a difficult decision to make. We’re debating whether it would be better for our dad to move in with one of us or if he should go to a nursing home where he can receive professional care around the clock. Should we prioritize keeping him close to family, even if it means taking on more responsibility, or is it better to consider a facility where he can receive the care he needs? -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: Talk to your father’s doctor to get medical advice on what would be best for your father. Also, assess his finances. Does he have long-term care insurance? How will he -- or you and your siblings -- be able to pay for the care he needs, whether in an assisted living community or at someone’s home? The cost of health care is astounding. You need to figure that out and then make a decision.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Our extended family reunion is in three days, and I know there will be intense discussions about personal achievements and financial success; this is common in Mexican families. I’m currently in a transitional phase in my career and am not ready to discuss my struggles openly. At 32, I’ve often felt like the underdog at these gatherings, and I’m concerned about being pressured to share more than I’m comfortable with. I’m trying to come up with excuses to miss the event, but I want to go. If I do attend, how do I survive this? -- Reluctant Attendee

DEAR RELUCTANT ATTENDEE: Peer pressure in families is real, and it can be emotionally debilitating. Is there something about your life right now that you can point to that is positive? Are you taking care of your health? Are you developing a talent? What are you doing that you are proud of? Even if it is not a job, that would be good to be ready to say when asked.

You can also deflect. People love to talk about themselves. When you are asked to talk about yourself, say a few things, but then ask questions of others to get them engaged. If there are children in the group, hang out with them for a while. They will be happy just to be with you without interrogating you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: There is an ongoing issue in my relationship that involves a recurring conflict over holiday traditions. My boyfriend is passionate about us celebrating every holiday with his extended family, which often means missing out on traditions that are important to me. For instance, last Christmas, while he was busy with his family’s big holiday feast, I missed our annual tradition of baking gingerbread cookies with my nieces and nephews. He always RSVPs for both of us without consulting me, so it leaves me no choice.

I’ve tried to find compromises, like suggesting we alternate holidays or have a smaller celebration with my family, but he’s adamant about sticking to his family’s customs. I don’t want to seem like I’m being difficult, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m constantly sacrificing my own traditions. How can I shake this feeling that I’m losing out every time? -- Missing Holiday Harmony

DEAR MISSING HOLIDAY HARMONY: It’s time for you to put your foot down. You do not have to honor a commitment that was made without your consent. That's his mess to untangle, not yours. Gently inform your boyfriend that you will not be able to attend every one of his family’s activities. Choose the ones of yours that you will recommit to attending, like baking cookies. Make it clear that you need to spend time with your family on special occasions, too. This is not a criticism of his family. It is an affirmation of yours.

It will be interesting to see how he responds to your change in attitude and behavior. In order for a relationship to grow, the two of you have to be willing to compromise and support each other. If he is unwilling to do that, you may find yourselves drifting apart.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m struggling with the pressure of maintaining a vibrant social life while dealing with chronic fatigue. I used to be the first to RSVP to gatherings. I was the life of the party -- always looking forward to weekends full of laughter and shared stories. Just a few months ago, I remember a friend’s birthday bash where I was eagerly participating in games and dancing until late. Now, it feels like I’m constantly running on empty, and simple tasks like getting ready for an evening out can feel overwhelmingly exhausting. Last week, I had to cancel on attending a friend’s birthday party -- a celebration I had been looking forward to for weeks -- because I was simply too drained. I hate the feeling of letting my friends down and missing out on special moments. I’m at a loss about how to manage my social commitments without feeling like I’m falling short. -- Fatigued but Social

DEAR FATIGUED BUT SOCIAL: It sounds like you need to go to the doctor and have a complete physical. Make sure that there is no underlying health issue that you are fighting without realizing it. It could be that you simply need more rest and must learn to balance your time so that you are not pushing without replenishing yourself -- but you need to find out.

Take a look at your social calendar. How many nights in a week do you typically go out? How often do you schedule in rest? What do you eat? How do you take care of yourself? It is time to reset and prioritize your health. This may mean that you stop agreeing to do everything. Be more selective. You don’t have to attend every event to demonstrate that you love your friends.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been invited to a high-profile event by an old friend I haven’t seen in years. It’s a fantastic opportunity, but there’s a bit of a catch: The event is in a city I’m uncomfortable traveling to alone due to safety concerns. I’m in my early 40s now and find that I’m more cautious about such things than I used to be.

While I’m tempted to decline the invitation to avoid the stress of navigating a new city alone, I don’t want to come off as indifferent or uninterested in reconnecting with my friend. How should I approach this situation? I want to express my concerns honestly but also ensure I don’t hurt my friend’s feelings or seem like I’m brushing off the invitation. Thank you in advance. -- Safety-Conscious Friend

DEAR SAFETY-CONSCIOUS FRIEND: Be honest with your friend. Express your trepidation about traveling solo, and talk to them about creative solutions. Can you possibly meet up with them upon arrival, or even meet where they live and travel to the event together? Beyond that, you can contact the concierge of your hotel to ask for a companion to help you plan out your schedule and possibly go places with you. This costs more, but it is a service that is available in some places. The point is that you should go. Just find ways to protect yourself that start with telling your friend the truth.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m finding it hard to decide whether to attend a destination wedding for a close friend who’s like family to me. I am truly excited, and I know it would be a fun gathering. The trip would cost around $1,000, and while I could manage to cover it, I know it would put me in a really tight financial spot for months to come. I genuinely want to be there for her, but I’m worried about the long-term strain on my finances. How can I discuss this with her without hurting her feelings or making it seem like I don’t care? -- Tight Budget

DEAR TIGHT BUDGET: What nobody tells you is that at a certain age, many people in your friend group will start to get married, which means you actually need a wedding fund to pay for attending these special events and buying gifts for the various couples. The expectation is that you should attend as many of your close friends’ weddings as you can -- and be able to afford it. Unrealistic? Sometimes.

My recommendation is that you look at your overall budget carefully and also at your friend group. Are there more weddings likely in the near future? It would be wise to plan for the big picture if you can. If you can swing it, go to this wedding. Be frugal while there, and be willing to pinch pennies for a while for the next few months.

You can also talk to your friend. Perhaps she knows of other people attending the wedding who might want to share a room to lower costs or even stay with you at a different hotel. If none of that works, be honest with her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)