DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been invited to a high-profile event by an old friend I haven’t seen in years. It’s a fantastic opportunity, but there’s a bit of a catch: The event is in a city I’m uncomfortable traveling to alone due to safety concerns. I’m in my early 40s now and find that I’m more cautious about such things than I used to be.

While I’m tempted to decline the invitation to avoid the stress of navigating a new city alone, I don’t want to come off as indifferent or uninterested in reconnecting with my friend. How should I approach this situation? I want to express my concerns honestly but also ensure I don’t hurt my friend’s feelings or seem like I’m brushing off the invitation. Thank you in advance. -- Safety-Conscious Friend

DEAR SAFETY-CONSCIOUS FRIEND: Be honest with your friend. Express your trepidation about traveling solo, and talk to them about creative solutions. Can you possibly meet up with them upon arrival, or even meet where they live and travel to the event together? Beyond that, you can contact the concierge of your hotel to ask for a companion to help you plan out your schedule and possibly go places with you. This costs more, but it is a service that is available in some places. The point is that you should go. Just find ways to protect yourself that start with telling your friend the truth.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m finding it hard to decide whether to attend a destination wedding for a close friend who’s like family to me. I am truly excited, and I know it would be a fun gathering. The trip would cost around $1,000, and while I could manage to cover it, I know it would put me in a really tight financial spot for months to come. I genuinely want to be there for her, but I’m worried about the long-term strain on my finances. How can I discuss this with her without hurting her feelings or making it seem like I don’t care? -- Tight Budget

DEAR TIGHT BUDGET: What nobody tells you is that at a certain age, many people in your friend group will start to get married, which means you actually need a wedding fund to pay for attending these special events and buying gifts for the various couples. The expectation is that you should attend as many of your close friends’ weddings as you can -- and be able to afford it. Unrealistic? Sometimes.

My recommendation is that you look at your overall budget carefully and also at your friend group. Are there more weddings likely in the near future? It would be wise to plan for the big picture if you can. If you can swing it, go to this wedding. Be frugal while there, and be willing to pinch pennies for a while for the next few months.

You can also talk to your friend. Perhaps she knows of other people attending the wedding who might want to share a room to lower costs or even stay with you at a different hotel. If none of that works, be honest with her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently received an incredible job offer from one of the top companies to work for in the United States. This opportunity is a huge milestone in my career; it’s something I’ve worked really hard for over the years. I was thrilled when I got the news and couldn’t wait to share it with the people closest to me. However, when I told my best friend about the job offer, her reaction was not what I expected. She has been struggling to find a job for quite some time, especially in this tough economy. I know how hard it’s been for her -- she’s been applying everywhere, going to interviews and dealing with the stress and disappointment that come with job hunting.

I tried to be sensitive when I shared my news, but ever since that conversation, she’s completely withdrawn from me. She hasn’t spoken to me at all, and I can tell she’s been avoiding me. It’s really hurtful; she’s someone I’ve always been able to rely on for support, and I thought she’d at least be happy for me, even if she’s going through a rough patch herself. I understand that she might be feeling down or even envious, but I miss her, and I don’t want this to come between us. Do I leave her alone and let her reach out to me on her own or continue to try to keep in contact with her? -- Jealousy

DEAR JEALOUSY: Your friend is scared about her future and jealous of your success. You cannot solve this for her. As hurtful as this moment is, you have to concentrate on the next phase of your life so that you are ready for your new job. You can also be compassionate toward your friend. Since she does not want to talk right now, consider writing her a letter expressing your love and gratitude for her and her friendship. Remind her of how much you care about her and want the best for her. Tell her you are there for her when she is ready to reconnect.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a tough spot with my best friend of 12 years. She’ll turn 18 in two months, and she wants to celebrate by going mountain climbing. She’s made it clear that she really wants me to join -- saying it’s the least I can do for our friendship. The problem is, I have a severe fear of heights, and I can’t imagine climbing a mountain; she is aware of this. I haven’t even asked where the location is yet because I’m so anxious about the idea. I’m afraid that if I don’t go, it could end our friendship -- which she has clearly implied -- but the thought of facing my fear in such a way is overwhelming. How can I get through to her how difficult this is for me? -- Afraid of Heights

DEAR AFRAID OF HEIGHTS: Your friend is being extremely insensitive by trying to force you to do something that causes you great fear. Yes, it’s thoughtful that she wants to push you out of your comfort zone, but threatening to end your friendship if you don’t climb a mountain is going too far. It could be unsafe for you to do that without preparation and confidence. Tell her you love her, but you cannot go. If this is a deal-breaker for her, maybe she isn’t really your friend.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m feeling frustrated with my brother’s girlfriend, and I could use your perspective. “Sally” often stays over at our house, especially on days when she doesn’t have classes, as she’s about to graduate college. Meanwhile, my brother “Bill” is already working, and he covers all of the household expenses since our parents are retired.

My issue is that Sally rarely interacts with the rest of the family and mostly keeps to herself, only talking to Bill. This makes it feel like the house is more of an apartment for her rather than our family home. Additionally, I suspect she’s influencing my brother to limit his financial support to just the household expenses, forbidding him to spoil us with gifts, which he used to do. I’m feeling irritated but questioning if my feelings are justified. Should I be more understanding of Sally’s situation? Maybe she is just shy and introverted? Or is it reasonable for me to feel this way? -- Annoyed Sister

DEAR ANNOYED SISTER: Why don’t you take steps to include Sally in family activities? She may not feel as welcome as you imagine. Inviting her to be part of whatever you are doing is a positive step that should make her feel welcomed by all.

As far as how your brother spends money, it could also be that he is saving money and, therefore, spending less. Having the full financial responsibility for the family is huge. Don’t be upset that the gifts are less frequent.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have identical twin boys who are about to start preschool in the fall. Their attachment is so strong that they often refuse to be apart, even for short periods. While I love how close they are, I’ve started to wonder if it might be beneficial for their development to experience some time apart. I think that placing them in separate classrooms at preschool might help them develop a sense of individuality and independence, which is something I think will be important for them as they grow older. I worry that if they continue to be so closely tied to each other, they might miss out on opportunities to build their own identities, make new friends and explore their own interests.

My husband, on the other hand, isn’t on board with this idea. He feels that separating our sons at such a young age could cause unnecessary stress and anxiety, both for the boys and for us as parents. He believes that their bond is something special that shouldn’t be disrupted, especially when they’re still so young and about to face the new and potentially overwhelming experience of starting school. How can we make this decision in a way that supports our boys’ growth without causing unnecessary tension in our family? -- Separate the Twins

DEAR SEPARATE THE TWINS: Talk to the school psychologist or their teacher. Express your concerns, making it clear what you know about your boys. Ask their opinion and if they have worked with twins before. My thought is that once the boys are in the company of other children, they will naturally gravitate to others and slowly expand their social network.

All kinds of dynamics occur with siblings and twins. You cannot control how they develop, but you can watch closely and support them as they grow. There are many studies and a number of books that explore this topic. Start reading.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)