DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved to Chicago this summer, and while I'm enjoying the new environment and opportunities, I'm facing a bit of a dilemma. I've managed to make some friends so far, but I haven't formed any super-close connections yet. It's been great getting to know new people, but these relationships are still in the early stages.

My birthday is coming up soon, and I'm starting to worry that I might have to spend the day alone. The combination of being new to the city and not having close friends yet is making me anxious about how to celebrate. I don't want to feel lonely on my special day, but I'm unsure how to approach this situation. Should I try to organize something with the acquaintances I've made, even though our relationships are still developing? Or would it be better to focus on treating myself to a solo celebration and make the best of it? I'm also concerned about appearing too forward or desperate if I invite people I don't know very well yet. -- Birthday Blues

DEAR BIRTHDAY BLUES: Your new friends don’t have to be besties to celebrate with you. Choose a bar or restaurant where folks can gather casually to ring in your new year with you. Invite the people you are getting to know, and tell them it’s your birthday and you’d like them to celebrate with you. They know you are new to town.

If they can’t make it, that’s when you go for the solo plan. You can treat yourself to a massage, a movie, an outdoor concert -- something fun!

DEAR HARRIETTE: During a family gathering, my mother-in-law made some hurtful comments about my daughter's appearance, effectively body-shaming her. These comments were unkind and insensitive, and they hurt my daughter, causing her to cry. As a parent, it was difficult to witness my child's pain and to see her self-esteem take such a hit from someone who is supposed to be family. My daughter is now more self-conscious and upset, and I'm worried about the long-term impact these comments might have on her self-image and confidence.

I'm struggling with how to address this issue with my mother-in-law. I want to protect my daughter and ensure she feels safe and loved, but I also don't want to create unnecessary family conflict. How can I find a way to communicate to my mother-in-law that her comments were hurtful and unacceptable without causing a major rift in the family? -- Crossing the Line

DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Visit your mother-in-law privately, and tell her you need to talk. Remind her of what she said to your daughter, and tell her unequivocally that she hurt your daughter’s feelings and you do not appreciate it. Now is not the time to mince words. Describe to her the impact that her words had on your daughter’s self-esteem. Tell her that as her grandmother, you expect her to uplift your daughter, not to tear her down. If your mother-in-law's feelings are hurt, so be it. She needs to know that it is not OK to belittle your daughter.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 20-year-old who has been in a relationship for two years. My boyfriend has always been supportive and follows my lead in many aspects of our lives together, from the food we order to the places we visit. He even chose to attend the same college as me because he does not know what he wants yet. Initially, I appreciated his consideration for my preferences, but things clicked into place when I met his family. In his household, his mother is the breadwinner, and his father defers to her for all major decisions. She controls the finances, and everyone seeks her permission for everything. The possibility of that being my future makes me feel exhausted already.

My boyfriend did mention once that the reason he and his ex-girlfriend broke up was because she is the type to be submissive and didn’t have an opinion on anything. I didn’t think much of that. I wonder if this is a valid reason to consider breaking up, or if I'm unfairly judging him based on his family's dynamics. Could he eventually become like his father, or am I overthinking things? -- Making Assumptions

DEAR MAKING ASSUMPTIONS: It sounds like your boyfriend is like his father already. Further, he has told you that when he was in a relationship with someone who did not take charge, he was lost. The question is whether you can accept being in a relationship with someone who needs you to be in charge. That isn’t the worst thing in the world, but it is real. You may be able to teach him how to take charge of certain things. Partners are “trainable,” so to speak, in the sense of learning how to adapt to their partner and be in sync with them, but your boyfriend has shown you who he is. Believe it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My spouse and I were profoundly disturbed by the letter from "Overstaying Daughter's Friend" and your response to it. Both of us experienced severe abuse as children, including neglect and molestation. Consequently, we immediately recognized signs that this teenage girl might be seeking safety and refuge with this family.

Your advice to contact the girl's parents, without first ensuring the girl's safety, could potentially expose her to further abuse. We strongly urge you to reconsider and address this matter with greater sensitivity and awareness of potential child abuse. It is imperative to provide guidance that prioritizes the girl's well-being and ensures she is not placed in harm's way. Please follow up and take steps to ensure her safety, as we truly believe she could be in danger. -- Disturbed

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently moved out of my parents' house to rent my own place. My decision was partly influenced by my father's obsessive-compulsive disorder, which has become increasingly difficult for me to handle. My mother has lived in a different state for her work for a year now, and I am an only child. While I know he can manage on his own, I feel guilty and conflicted about leaving him alone. His behavior -- such as constantly checking things and insisting on specific routines -- has worn me down over the years, not to mention his extreme anger when things do not go his way. How can I cope with the guilt of leaving my father alone while prioritizing my own well-being and mental health? -- Growing Up With OCD

DEAR GROWING UP WITH OCD: At this stage in your life, you are not responsible for your father, even though you love him. You should talk to your mother and explain the situation. I’m sure she will understand, considering that she herself left to work elsewhere. While she probably did need to take a job, leaving you to fend for yourself with your father was not the most compassionate action on her part.

You deserve to build your own life. Continue to communicate with your father, but find relief in having your own place. As long as your father is not in physical danger, you should allow yourself to live your life. If he ever gets to a dangerous point, that’s when you call your mother and get medical intervention. Studies suggest that children of parents with OCD can suffer from mental health challenges including anxiety and depression. See a mental health professional for yourself to help you work through this challenging time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m writing as a younger sister who's feeling a bit stuck in my relationship with my older sister. Growing up, I've always been envious of my friends' older sisters who seemed to effortlessly provide support and guidance. They gave their sisters things for free, taught them skills like shaping their brows and even let them borrow clothes. In contrast, my sister never did any of that. Instead, she often made me feel like I didn't belong in her space, subtly excluding me. We're only two years apart, and now that we're both in college and still living under the same roof, I want to try to develop a mature relationship with her. How can I approach her and build a better connection without feeling resentful or ignored? -- Wanting a Sibling Bond

DEAR WANTING A SIBLINGS BOND: I have two sisters, including one who is two years older than I am. For years, I wanted the relationship that you are seeking, but ours was more competitive, and sometimes hostile, until recent years. The good news is that we now are close and growing closer. I want to recommend patience and acceptance. Do your best to meet your sister where she is. She is not one of your friends’ sisters. She is herself. Pay attention to her and what makes her tick. What makes her happy? What makes you happy? Ask for what you want in your relationship with her, but don’t ask in anger or frustration. See what happens.

Over time, your relationship may change, but this won’t work if you give in to emotion. Build your life with other friends who support you, and trust that your bond with your sister will evolve.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)