DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been best friends with "Sam" since high school. Recently, our friendship has been strained because when I got drunk on a Friday night out, I unintentionally shared a private story about her with our mutual friends. Sam is an anxious person, and her discovery of being adopted is a big deal for her. Her adoptive parents are not yet aware that she knows. When our friends discussed it the following morning, Sam felt betrayed and has been distant ever since, despite my sincere apologies. How can I fix things between us after this big trust slip-up? It was the alcohol talking. -- Yapping Tongue

DEAR YAPPING TONGUE: Ask to sit down with her. When face to face, remind her of how much you love and respect her. Apologize again for revealing her secret. Admit that you know it was a betrayal of the deepest kind. While you know that you shared it because you were drunk, you also know that being drunk is a horrible excuse. You should have each other’s back no matter what. No substance or situation should provoke you to break her confidence.

In time, she may forgive you. In the meantime, you need to take a hard look at yourself. How often do you get drunk? Have you divulged a confidence when drunk in the past? Do you need to monitor your drinking? Be honest with yourself, and proceed accordingly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of seven kids, and we have always been short on money. One of my extended relatives used to help us out occasionally -- by giving us used items we didn’t have and some money on birthdays in exchange for babysitting their kids and allowing us to tag along on vacations sometimes -- but I always felt it was more out of pity than familial support. Now that our financial situation is improving as most of us siblings have graduated and are working, we've started hearing hurtful comments from this relative and their family, who seem to look down on us. They are not aware that we know. They attend our family gatherings uninvited, despite our attempts to distance ourselves due to their toxic behavior. How can we cut ties with this extended family without coming across as arrogant or ungrateful for their past help? -- Improving Life Little by Little

DEAR IMPROVING LIFE LITTLE BY LITTLE: If you have the courage, invite this relative to meet with you. Thank the person for their help for your family over the years. Note that you are grateful that your family’s situation is improving. Then say that you are aware that this person has been bad-mouthing you and your family to others, and describe how much that hurts you. It was obvious that your family was struggling some years ago. While it was nice of them to help out, knowing now that they were passing judgment on you is a special kind of hurt. Ask them to stop. If they react poorly, tell them that you need some time away from them for now. That should be a hint that they are not invited to the next party.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Since my divorce, my 14-year-old son has been distant and openly disrespectful. He believes it's my fault that his father and I split up. In reality, I discovered that my ex-husband had been paying women for sexual favors, and I was disgusted and felt betrayed. Despite this, I haven't told my son the real reason for our separation because I want him to continue to respect his father, who has been a great dad to him. However, given my son's recent change in behavior, I'm starting to wonder if now is the right time to reveal the truth. -- Heartfelt Guardian

DEAR HEARTFELT GUARDIAN: Your son definitely needs your attention and loving care as well as a reestablishment of boundaries. What he does not need is a revelation about his father’s bad behavior. You can explain to him that sometimes couples grow apart, no longer share the same needs or values or have other challenges that drive them to disconnect. While it may be hard for him to understand what happened to his family, both you and your ex love him and want the best for him.

What cannot work, however, is for him to continue to speak to you in a disrespectful manner. Remind him of how you taught him to interact with you and other adults, including what tone of voice is appropriate, making eye contact when talking, responding to questions, honoring time, etc. Tell him you expect him to communicate with you accordingly.

You may also want to get him a therapist who can have strategic conversations with him about his life and his future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a teacher just starting my career, I'm faced with a tough situation where I suspect one of my students is being bullied. She often sits alone at lunch and seems to avoid interactions with her classmates. I've overheard hurtful comments about her appearance and abilities, which leads me to believe she may be a target of bullying. I'm unsure about the best way to address this sensitive issue. Should I talk to this student directly about what might be happening to her, or should I seek help from school authorities to ensure she is safe and supported? Finding the balance between protecting my student and not making things worse is a challenge I'm dealing with as I learn how to support the kids in the best way possible. I teach math in middle school. -- New Teacher

DEAR NEW TEACHER: I recommend a two-pronged approach. Build a personal rapport with your student so that she knows she has an ally. Check in on her. Ask her how she is doing and if she needs anything. Do your best to get to know her, but be mindful that other students don’t observe you and take your kindness for favoritism.

Also speak to the school’s guidance counselor and ask for advice on how to protect this student. There may be antibullying measures already in place that can be engaged carefully at this time, or it could be that there’s simply another person looking out for the student in her potential times of vulnerability.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: At 36, after I've spent 10 years as a devoted housewife and raising our three boys, my husband's recent job loss due to health-related issues has brought us to a crossroads: How can I return to work? I had a thriving career before deciding to focus on our family, but the thought of reentering the workforce after such a long break is daunting. I find myself questioning my skills and wondering how I'll fit into a rapidly changing job market. Despite feeling uncertain, my husband believes in my abilities and encourages me to consider working again.

As I contemplate this decision, I wonder: How can I rebuild my confidence and transition back into a career? What steps can I take to update my skills and work on potential questions like explaining my career gap? I worked in marketing. -- Housewife With Career

DEAR HOUSEWIFE WITH CAREER: Put on your marketing hat and review your skills, especially those you have engaged during this 10-year period. Look to identify transferable skills, such as creative problem solving. Find examples of how you have navigated challenges with your children, their school or extracurriculars. Think of projects you may have taken on with the PTA or other organizations. Even if it was to help your school, what did you do? For example, at my daughter’s elementary school, I served as auctioneer at their fundraiser and raised a significant amount of money. I also created pop-up shops to raise money. Think of outside-the-box activities you spearheaded or participated in that point to your skills.

Look at jobs that celebrate young people. If you can find something that directly focuses on a target market you are deeply familiar with -- your children -- it can be easy to sell yourself. Keep trying. You have a unique experience. Present it so that others can see your value.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm 32 and faced a profound dilemma after cheating on my husband, who is often away due to his successful business. I am an attractive woman, but I have personal issues to deal with. Loneliness led me to commit adultery, and after months of misery because of guilt, I confessed. Though he forgave me, I feel his lingering bitterness in his remarks, and his taking pleasure in my misfortunes at work or with family. It's been a year, and this continues to strain us. Out of frustration, I suggested giving him a "free pass" to even the score, but now I fear he might take me up on it. What should I do? -- Troubled Wife

DEAR TROUBLED WIFE: Go back to your husband and tell him what you really want. If that is to repair your marriage, ask him if he wants that as well. Apologize again for straying. Tell him how much you love and miss true intimacy with him. Ask him if he will consider going to therapy with you to work through your issues.

Beyond that, work together to find times when you can connect, even though he’s often on the road. Engage in video calls when he’s away, as well as planned and impromptu dates when he is at home. Give him space when he is tired, but also provide clarity on what you need in order to be fulfilled. Tell him you want to establish your connection and that you don’t want him to get a lover. Otherwise, he won’t know.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)