DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 26-year-old woman from Cincinnati. I started a new job a few months ago, and I’ve developed a crush on one of my co-workers. He’s kind and funny, and we get along really well. I look forward to seeing him at work, and I think there might be a spark between us. However, I’m hesitant to make a move because I’m worried about the potential consequences. What if I ask him out and he says no? Or worse, what if we go out and things don’t work out? I don’t want to create an awkward atmosphere at work or jeopardize the professional relationship we’ve built. I’ve considered just enjoying the friendship and not risking it, but I also don’t want to miss out on what could be a great relationship. Should I take the risk and ask him out, or is it better to keep things professional and see if he makes a move? -- Hot for Him

DEAR HOT FOR HIM: Slow down. A lot is new right now. Refocus on your job. Pay attention to your tasks and the goals of your role. What you want to do first is to make a great impression on your boss and the team. Demonstrate that you are excellent at what you have been tasked to do and that you are willing to go above and beyond to support the work at hand.

You can continue to build a friendship with the man in question, but don’t pressure yourself or him to take it further. After you settle into your job, pay attention to how the friendship is growing. You don’t necessarily have to wait for him to ask you out, but do wait to make sure you are in good standing at work before seeking out romance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last week, I overheard my teenage nieces talking badly about their grandparents' upcoming 50th wedding anniversary celebration. They were making fun of the plans and saying how boring it was going to be. Their grandparents, my parents, have always been so loving and supportive, and this milestone is incredibly special to our family. Hearing them speak so disrespectfully about something that means so much to the rest of us was really upsetting. I know teenagers can be dismissive at times, but their comments felt particularly hurtful given the significance of the event. I’m struggling with how to address this without causing a family rift. Should I talk to my nieces directly about how their words made me feel, or should I bring it up with their parents first? I want them to understand the importance of this celebration and to show more respect, but I also don’t want to create unnecessary drama. -- Show Some Respect

DEAR SHOW SOME RESPECT: This could be the perfect time for you to speak directly to your nieces. Let them know you overheard their conversation and that it disturbed you. While you understand that teenagers would rather do things with their peers, you hope they will take their grandparents’ anniversary seriously and do something special for them to show their love. Remind them that without their grandparents, they wouldn’t be here. Those two represent family legacy, and honoring them in this meaningful way will make them happy. If the teens choose to mock their grandparents or attend begrudgingly, that will hurt their feelings. Ask them to show up with a loving attitude.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are in our early 50s, and we've been arguing a lot lately. The main source of our tension is our lack of retirement savings. We’ve both worked hard all our lives, but due to various circumstances, we haven't managed to put much away for our future. We’re both feeling the pressure as retirement approaches, and it’s causing a lot of stress and resentment. I blame him for some poor financial decisions in the past, and he blames me for not being more proactive about saving.

The arguments are getting more frequent and intense, and it’s starting to feel like we’re in a downward spiral. We’ve tried talking about it calmly, but our discussions always seem to end in a fight. I’m worried about what this stress is doing to our marriage and our overall well-being. I want us to find a way to work together to improve our situation and build a more secure future, but I’m not sure how to get us on the same page. How can we stop blaming each other and start working as a team to address our financial issues? -- No Retirement

DEAR NO RETIREMENT: Now is the time to reach out for help. Contact a financial planner to work with the two of you to design a way forward. You are not the expert on this, and no argument will miraculously get you to a solution. Speak to your bank. Ask friends for recommendations. Find a reputable firm online. Interview a few companies to see which feels like a fit. Once you find an adviser you trust, share your current financial situation in great detail. Be transparent, even if it causes you discomfort. Your adviser can help you determine where to cut back, how to spend differently, if there is any short-term investing that is smart for you and what a path forward will look like for the two of you. Get help now!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My siblings and I are struggling to agree on the best care for our aging parent. Our father recently had a health scare, and while we all want what's best for him, we can't seem to find common ground. Some of us believe he should move into a nursing home for full-time care, while others think he should stay at home with family support. As the eldest, I’m not sure how we can move past this disagreement while making sure it is for our father’s best interest and not us running away from responsibility. If you were in my father’s shoes, which would you choose? -- Nursing Home or Family Support

DEAR NURSING HOME OR FAMILY SUPPORT: There doesn’t have to be one plan. You can potentially employ several options over time. Which siblings have the capacity to take your father into their homes? Talk about this to see what is practical. This should include a floorplan that is safe for him to navigate, time for someone to be at home with your dad during the day and financial resources to care for him. If other siblings can pitch in with in–person care and dollars to help pay for food and other necessities, that would help ease the burden on any one sibling.

You should also research a live-in facility to determine the cost and your father’s ability to pay for it should the time come when he needs that extra support.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started dating a nice man who is attentive when we are in each other’s company, but he is largely absent during the day. He rarely calls or checks in as the day progresses and generally sends me a text message in the evening. He used to work nights and I think he is still on an odd sleep schedule, but I don’t like it. Being in touch as the day goes on makes me happy. I just got out of a relationship where my partner was more absent than present. I don’t want to bring baggage with me, but this is a bit of a red flag. How can I address this with him without seeming whiny? -- Be in Touch

DEAR BE IN TOUCH: Your man is not a mind reader. You have to tell him what you want and appreciate in order for him to know. You don’t have to complain about what you didn’t have in the past. Instead, describe the type of interaction that makes you happy. If you want him to call or text you during the day, ask him to do it. Tell him that it makes you happy to be connected to him in that way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need advice on a personal problem involving my sister, her husband and their religion. My parents died when I was 12, and I have been living with relatives since. My married sister offered to take me in, which I gladly accepted. Within a month of staying with her family, I caught my sister crying over an argument with her husband. This isn't just a one-time occurrence; I often hear them shouting at each other. Apparently, my brother-in-law is insisting that I join his religion, but my sister doesn't want me to feel pressured. My sister married young, and her husband supported her education. Now he wants to do the same for me, but with the condition that I convert to his religion in exchange for financial support. Personally, I am not religious, especially not in their faith, though I will not mention what exactly it is. However, I don't want to witness my sister's ongoing conflicts. -- Faithless Wanderer

DEAR FAITHLESS WANDERER: You have not told me your age, so it’s hard to say if you are at the stage where you can be independent. What you need to do is evaluate your options. If you stay with your sister, what kind of life can you have with her husband in the background making uncomfortable demands that impact both you and your sister? Do you still have the option to go live with other family members, such as the ones who initially took you in when your parents died? Finally, can you apply to schools and look for financial aid or scholarship money to support you rather than rely your brother-in-law’s financial support? Do your research so that you can find a way to live your life in peace and with the potential for an independent future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)