DEAR HARRIETTE: Am I being selfish for pointing out to my girlfriend that she will not always be the top priority in our relationship, which is a reality due to my commitments as a performer and dancer? Often, the group requires us to relocate to another state for monthslong event preparations, leaving me with limited communication time as production demands are intensive. Exhaustion and lack of cellular service also contribute to communication challenges during these periods. Her negative reaction to my explanation has me questioning if continuing the relationship is viable, or if it's best to let go. -- Performer Boyfriend

DEAR PERFORMER BOYFRIEND: Try wording your reality a little differently. Perhaps it is not that she loses the role of being top priority, but more that the demands of your job create limitations on your availability. Just like a firefighter cannot answer the phone when they are fighting a fire, a surgeon cannot pick up while in the operating room or an operator in a call center cannot talk to you when in queue to answer other calls, you cannot talk when you are in production. This doesn’t mean you love her less; it means you are busy. Consider using the BeReal app that prompts you to send each other pictures once a day. This will at least remind her that you are thinking of her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: You gave “Empty Nest,” the woman with grown children and a workaholic husband good advice to discuss their altered life together. I would also tell her to go do things on her own -- take classes, join a book club, learn a new hobby. She could get a pet or volunteer at an animal rescue, food bank, hospital or school. You can find joy when you meet new people with similar interests. Best of all, helping others makes you feel good. -- Retired Medical Librarian

DEAR RETIRED MEDICAL LIBRARIAN: Being responsible for your own happiness is the name of the game! Often, when people retire or their children leave or other big changes occur in life, they turn to their spouses to handle the moment. I remember when my father retired, he started following my mother around wherever she went. The day that he decided to accompany her to the hairdresser was the day she put her foot down and told him he had to find something else to do! He ended up volunteering for an organization that he had once worked with. He became busy. The group benefited from his expertise, and my mother no longer had a stalker! As time passed, the two of them discovered things they could do together that they had never even considered before. It was lovely to see a whole new romance blossom between them. It took both of them finding a new way of interacting.

I love your idea of finding your own way to be content. That positive attitude is attractive and can do wonders for inviting your own partner to want to spend more time with you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: During a recent team meeting, my co-worker “Alex” presented an idea that I had shared with him over a cup of coffee. He claimed it as his own and received praise from our boss while I sat there feeling frustrated and overlooked. This is not the first time Alex has taken credit for my contributions, and it's starting to lower my morale at work. Our boss hates conflict, especially between employees, but I want to address this situation with Alex professionally to ensure proper recognition in the future. At the same time, I might just stop talking to him altogether. -- Credit Grabber

DEAR CREDIT GRABBER: You should definitely stop sharing your ideas with Alex. He has proven to be untrustworthy. Keep your conversations to a minimum, but don’t act upset. That would give him more power. Just be pleasant and light.

In the future, if Alex -- or anyone else -- steals an idea from you, pipe up in the meeting and take it back. You can say, “Yes, Alex. That’s exactly what I was describing to you the other day. I’m glad you like my idea.” Or you can build allyships with other employees who also know your idea and can speak up on your behalf when Alex tries to claim your idea as his own.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My two daughters are a little over a year apart and are in constant competition with each other in every aspect of life. They are 12 and 13 years old, and they constantly fight with each other about who has better grades, who’s more athletic or who is prettier. It started off as regular sibling banter, but now I feel as if it has progressed to something more serious and intense. Their rivalry is affecting our family dynamic and causing a lot of tension at home. They are always comparing themselves to each other, which leads to frequent arguments and feelings of inadequacy.

I worry that this ongoing competition is damaging my daughters’ relationship and their self-esteem. Instead of supporting and uplifting each other, they seem to be tearing each other down. I want them to have a healthy relationship and to be able to celebrate each other's successes rather than viewing them as threats. I’m at a loss for how to address this issue effectively. How can I encourage them to see each other as allies rather than adversaries? -- Tough Competition

DEAR TOUGH COMPETITION: Your daughters need some separation. Can you put them in two different summer camps during the day or even for a week or more this summer? Enroll them in separate extracurricular events that interest them individually. In this way, they will have different stories to share. They may still compete, but hopefully they will meet new friends and begin to have experiences that distract from their sisterly gripes.

They are at a competitive age, but you are right to want to reinforce love rather than envy. Remind them that family is important and that you always want them to have each other. Invite them to stop picking each other apart and to step away when they can’t seem to stop. Enroll them in a yoga class so they can learn deep breathing and other techniques to calm themselves from the inside out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a boyfriend of five years. Yes, you read that right: five years. I love him very much and have been waiting patiently for around four years for him to ask me to marry him. I know it sounds bad and I need to have more respect for myself, but I can’t see my life without him. His hesitation stems from his parents' divorce when he was young, which has made him cautious about marriage. Despite our strong relationship, this fear seems to be holding him back from taking the next step. I've tried to be understanding and patient, but it's becoming increasingly difficult for me to cope with the uncertainty and the waiting.

I don’t want to pressure my boyfriend into something he’s not ready for, but I need to consider my own feelings and the future I envision for us. Should I leave him for someone who doesn’t have these hesitations and will follow through with marriage, or should I wait it out? How can I address this issue with him without causing tension or making him feel pushed? -- Time To Make a Move

DEAR TIME TO MAKE A MOVE: Maybe your boyfriend needs an ultimatum to take action. If you want to marry him, tell him. Better yet, you can ask him to marry you. You can let him know that it is time for the two of you either to move forward and make a firm commitment or to disband your relationship. Tell him what you want. If that is marriage and a plan to create a family together, describe your vision. Ask him if he wants that, too. If so, push past the fear -- together -- and go for it. If not, you should free yourself to build a life with someone who wants to be your partner.

A word of caution: If you have someone waiting in the wings who seems like second prize, that may never work for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor constantly plays loud music late into the night, disrupting my sleep and causing frustration. Just last night, they had a loud party that lasted until the early hours of the morning, with music blaring and guests being rowdy. Despite my polite requests to lower the volume, the noise continued. This is not the first time this has happened, and I am finding it challenging to address this issue without escalating tensions in our neighborhood. I want to find a solution to the noise problem that works for both of us. Any advice would be great. -- Inconsiderate Neighbors

DEAR INCONSIDERATE NEIGHBORS: Check the noise ordinances in your neighborhood. In some areas, there are restrictions on how loud music can be after a certain hour. If that’s the case where you live, file a complaint against your neighbor, citing a noise violation. You can also call 311 (not 911) to report excessive noise. In some instances, a law enforcement official will come out to check on the noise and invite the offender to turn it down. This action could help to shut down the music or aggravate your neighbor. Only resort to reporting them if you can’t take it anymore.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)