DEAR HARRIETTE: I am feeling hurt after a recent vacation with my friends, and I’m not sure what to do. We planned this trip for months, hoping to have a great time and create wonderful memories together. However, things took a turn, and now I’m questioning whether I even want to continue these friendships.

It began with disagreements about our daily plans and how we wanted to spend our time. Some of us wanted to relax and take things easy, while others were more interested in exploring and participating in various activities. This difference in expectations led to tension and frustration. As the days went on, the arguments escalated. We found ourselves bickering over small things like where to eat, who should pay for what and even trivial matters like room assignments. One night, it all came to a head. Harsh words were exchanged, and personal attacks were made. The rest of the trip was awkward and uncomfortable.

Now that we’re back home, I’m left with a mix of emotions. Part of me wants to reach out and try to mend things, but another part of me wonders if these friendships are worth saving. I keep thinking about the things that were said and the way we treated one another. It’s hard to imagine going back to the way things were before. What should I do? -- Broken Friendships

DEAR BROKEN FRIENDSHIPS: First, decide how much you value these people. Do you want to continue to be friends with them? If so, reach out and tell them you want to talk about what happened to see if you can mend your friendships. If you are fine walking away from them, do nothing. If someone from the group reaches out, you can reconnect -- or not.

It is sad when friendships experience rifts, but sometimes that shift is an indication that the relationships have changed. That’s OK.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been married to “Mike” for a while now, and I just found out that he has been keeping some of his finances a secret from me. Despite our talks about being open about money, he's been hiding debts and his spending habits. I recently discovered that he's been spending a significant amount on luxury watches and dining out, which he never mentioned to me. It feels like a breach of trust. It’s not affecting our finances right now, and he is not yet aware that I know, but I’m worried about the future. I want to have a conversation about financial honesty and transparency in our marriage, but I'm not a confrontational type and am unsure how to approach this. -- Secretive Husband

DEAR SECRETIVE HUSBAND: Years ago, wives used to talk about their secret stash of cash that they kept for personal needs; it was known as “mad money.” Your husband seems to have his own mad money. Indiscriminate spending of said money may be something to worry about -- or maybe not.

Rather than chastising him about the separate account, talk to him about planning for the future. Sit down with him and set goals for your life together. What do you want to save for? Talk about the future, what it may cost and how the two of you can plan together to make it happen. Suggest that you both contribute to a future fund. This may encourage him to divert some of his mad money back to your joint account without you scolding him about it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a freelance graphic designer, and one of my clients is frustrating. Despite multiple revisions and attempts to clarify their expectations, the client has continued to express dissatisfaction with my work. One design element they specifically didn't like was a logo concept I had created. The client requested a minimalist and modern design, which I meticulously crafted to align with their brand image. However, they found the color scheme too bold and the font choice not in line with their vision. I asked for more specific feedback, and they did not provide me with anything concrete. This left me feeling perplexed, as I had followed their instructions closely and incorporated their feedback at every stage of the design process. How do you think I should proceed? -- Vague Client

DEAR VAGUE CLIENT: Many people are not visual and can find it difficult to express what they want for a design because they literally do not have the words to describe it. As a designer, that can be frustrating. Provide your clients with a variety of visual references to allow them to see examples of possibilities from which they can choose. This takes time, but it is a way to help guide them to come to a direction that satisfies their needs and helps them to imagine what they want. Many designers agree to provide three options to clients, after which they charge more. With a difficult client like this, you may need to change your rules regarding options in order to come to a solution that will satisfy their needs.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just wanted to share a cautionary tale with you regarding sleepovers: The hosting parents need to be vetted very carefully.

Like you, I always called the parents to be sure they would be on site and the girls would be supervised. One time, my 9-year-old was invited to a birthday slumber party. I dutifully called the mother and was assured that she would be there through the entire celebration. Around 8:30 p.m., my Spidey sense kicked in; this was not a family I knew very well, so my husband and I decided to do a drive-by. It was chaos. Older boys were at the house, and there was no parent in sight. As we left with our daughter, a neighbor suggested we look at the neighborhood tavern, which is where we found the parent, sloshed to the gills.

Four years later, I was talked into allowing our daughter to spend the night with twin sisters. Again, I called and spoke to the mom at length and was assured she wouldn't allow a similar situation. After that night, our daughter became intractable. It was as if someone had flipped a switch in her. She eventually attempted to take her own life. She was placed in inpatient hospital counseling, which is where we found out that that night she was encouraged to drink, was drugged and was sexually assaulted by a 19-year-old neighbor. Her friends were in on it while the parents were out amusing themselves.

Kids can attend these functions, but only with close family friends whom you know very well. Better yet, instead of an overnight, allow a late night with pickup by 11. -- Spidey Sense

DEAR SPIDEY SENSE: I want to thank you and the others who wrote in about this sensitive topic. I’m so sorry about what happened to your daughter. I realize that horrible things can happen to our children when we leave them in others’ care. The late-night pickup is a great solution that allows your children to spend time with friends and come home safely. Also, having the sleepover at your home where you can supervise is a viable solution.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a customer service manager at a retail store, and I have been receiving complaints from customers about one of my employees being slow and unhelpful. The challenging part is that this employee is close to me and is known for her kind nature. I have provided feedback and coaching to improve her customer service skills, and I see her working hard and trying, but the complaints persist. This is impacting the store's reputation. Normally I would need to submit a report, but I’m contemplating whether to do so in this situation. Is it more ethical to report or be loyal to my people? -- Kind but Slow

DEAR KIND BUT SLOW: I once had an employee who was one of the kindest people you could ever meet. He also had a magnetic personality that attracted people to him and instantly made people like him. Unfortunately, he was slow at many tasks, and it could be frustrating to wait for things to be completed or to be finished well. I talked to him about this and encouraged him to work harder at task management and completion so that his winning personality would be matched by his excellent job performance rather than being the reason people gave him a pass. It took time, but with tremendous effort, he improved. Your friend needs ongoing coaching. She needs a cheerleader to help improve her skills. She may also need to have a shift in responsibilities that takes her away from the customers. Is there anything else she can do that is essential? If so, consider that rather than reporting her or letting her go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a college student working on a group thesis with three classmates, I've hit a roadblock with one of them. This person, “Olive,” is constantly missing meetings and blowing off deadlines, leaving the rest of us to carry the load. When I finally called Olive out on it, she got defensive and blamed personal stuff for her no-shows. It's frustrating to see our project suffer because of one person's slacking. I know we need to address this situation and make sure everyone is pulling their weight, but I'm not exactly sure how to approach it without stirring up more drama. How can I get this person to step up and take her responsibilities seriously without causing a big rift and sounding insensitive? -- Dead Weight

DEAR DEAD WEIGHT: My experience shows that in most group activities, there is at least one slacker. Is it fair? No, but it is common. You can talk to this person as a group and individually to outline what needs to be done and when, but the rest of you are probably going to have to do the work yourselves in order for it to be completed.

When I was in college, I was in class with one of my best friends, and we worked together on a group project. Shockingly, she completely dropped the ball and did not complete her portion of the assignment. We ended up scrambling to finish her work. Because we did it -- and did it well, I might add -- we got a good grade. I had to personally forgive my friend for being so irresponsible. The lesson I learned is that you have to be prepared to do it all, even when it’s not your responsibility.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)