DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has recently expressed a strong desire to have another child, but I do not want to at all. We already have two wonderful children, a 5-year-old and a 6-year-old, and I feel that they are more than enough for me to handle right now.

One of the major issues contributing to my reluctance to have another kid is that my husband is not a very involved dad. While he loves our children, he doesn't do much to help with their daily care. I am the one who manages their schedules, handles school and extracurricular activities, takes care of them when they're sick and ensures that all their needs are met. It often feels like I'm parenting on my own, and it's exhausting.

I have tried to talk to my husband about how I feel, explaining that adding another child to our family would only increase my workload and stress levels. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to fully understand or appreciate the weight of my concerns. He believes that having another child would bring more joy and completeness to our family, but I fear it would just push me further into a state of constant fatigue and overwhelm. Is there a way to reach a compromise, or am I being unreasonable in my refusal to have another child? -- Another Child

DEAR ANOTHER CHILD: Create some expectations of your husband for helping with the children you have. Come up with a reasonable list of duties for him that will help ease the burden on you. Tell him that if he can commit to actively and consistently helping with childcare, you can consider having another child. See what happens.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm 24 years old, and I recently got adult braces because it was too expensive for my family when I was younger. My boyfriend of two years subtly hinted not to get them; he said my teeth were fine, and I didn't need braces. While I agree that the alignment of my teeth was OK, I had a deep bite and fragile teeth, which were insecurities of mine. Now that I have a decent job and can afford it, I decided to work on myself. However, my boyfriend started making mean comments about my braces, saying I look weird and my mouth is awkward to look at. He does this in public while making irritated faces. When I told him it was insensitive, he brushed it off, saying it's not a big deal. He's usually very charming and responsible.

I like my boyfriend a lot, but I'm not sure if I can stay with someone who makes fun of my physical appearance. Additionally, he is very vocal about not being attracted to “fat girls,” and my recent weight gain is concerning me. -- Adult Braces

DEAR ADULT BRACES: You are sensitive, and your boyfriend is judgmental. That’s a recipe for hurt feelings. Continue to take care of yourself. Getting your teeth aligned is smart for the future. Take care of your overall health, too -- for you, not for him. And if he doesn’t stop taunting you, consider that a sign to move on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have lost around 200 pounds over the past two years. It hasn’t been an easy journey at all because I have done it all naturally. As a mom of three, I gained a significant amount of weight during my pregnancies, and it stuck with me for years.

Because I am done having children, I decided to make a change so I could be healthy and present for my kids. I am incredibly proud of the physical transformation I’ve achieved and the hard work I’ve put into reaching this milestone. However, despite the weight loss and the physical changes, I still don’t feel confident.

I thought losing weight would automatically make me feel better about myself, but I’ve come to realize that confidence doesn’t solely stem from how you look on the outside. It’s much more about how you feel about yourself on the inside. Even with my new appearance, I still struggle with the self-doubt and insecurities that I’ve carried with me for years. It’s as if the weight loss has uncovered these deeper issues rather than resolving them. I find myself worrying whether people perceive me differently now and whether I am healthier and happier.

I want to build my self-esteem and feel genuinely good about myself, beyond just my physical appearance. How can I shift my mindset and focus on my inner confidence? -- What's Next?

DEAR WHAT’S NEXT?: Congratulations on losing 200 pounds. That’s a huge accomplishment, and you should be proud of yourself. This is good for you and your family. To align yourself with the goodness inside, you may want to get some help. Enlist the support of a therapist who can explore your life with you and coach you on healthy ways to build self-esteem. Having help is a great thing.

You can also continue to eat well and work out. Surround yourself with people who are affirming. This may require you to end any toxic relationships in your life. Make smart choices that are gentle and uplifting for you. Do your best not to think about what others have to say about you. Affirm what you want, and work to make that happen.

DEAR HARRIETTE: You often hear from people who “loan” money to family members. I have found that one never really loans money to their relatives. When the loan is not repaid, feelings get hurt. It is best to give the money with no strings attached. If it is returned, it's a win-win. If it is not returned -- as there were no expectations for it to be returned -- there should be no hard feelings, but a lesson learned. -- No Family Loan

DEAR NO FAMILY LOAN: Your advice is the safest, to be sure, as it helps to avoid all kinds of emotional drama later. The challenge that some people face in this situation is if a family member needs more money than you can afford to give. If you are able to say no because you cannot give it, that’s great. But sometimes it is very difficult to say no and keep the peace in the family.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: What should I do if my mother is smothering me? My husband and I recently moved closer to my parents because we have two little ones. My daughters are 3 and 4 years old, and I need help with them because my husband and I both work full-time.

My mom has a key to our house for when she comes to watch my kids. While I appreciate all the support and love my mom provides, her frequent and unexpected visits are starting to cause stress. My husband and I value our privacy and the little family time we have together, and her unannounced visits often disrupt our routine and personal time. Sometimes she comes over multiple times a week without prior notice, and it's starting to feel overwhelming. I understand that she means well and just wants to be involved in our lives, especially with her grandchildren, but the lack of boundaries is becoming a problem. I don't want to seem ungrateful -- we genuinely need her help with the kids -- but we also need to set some boundaries to maintain our own space and time as a family. How should we go about doing this? -- Boundaries

DEAR BOUNDARIES: Thank your mother for all of her help, and tell her you need one more thing: privacy in your marriage. Explain that as much as you love her, it is disruptive for her to come over unannounced. You are trying to establish a family rhythm and, without meaning to, she regularly disrupts the flow. Ask her to call in advance to help you establish the privacy that you desperately need.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a longtime reader of your column, but this is the first time I've felt compelled to write to you. I’m writing in reference to “Mid-Size Problem,” whose boyfriend was making comments about her weight. While I agree with your advice for the writer to gently approach her boyfriend to express her feelings, I don't know if it will make a difference in the way he treats her.

I had a similar experience in a relationship years ago. There was always an undercurrent of criticism if my weight fluctuated, which, let's be honest, happens over the years. The fact that the writer's boyfriend is doing this suggests a level of shallowness I don't think will change over time. I think the writer would be wise to see this behavior as a character flaw and move on. And, worst-case scenario, if she were to marry and raise a family with him, their children would pick up on this behavior and model it themselves in their own relationships.

My relationship lasted over three years before it came to an end. While it's not one I would have wanted to repeat, it did give me valuable insights into what qualities I wanted in my ideal partner. Thankfully, I met my husband shortly afterward and have been happily married for 25 years now, so I hope the writer comes to the same realization and finds a life partner who shares her values. -- Insight

DEAR INSIGHT: Thank you for sharing your story. It helps a lot for people in crisis to know they aren’t alone and to learn from other people’s experiences.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)