DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband, who is 31, and I, at 29, tied the knot just two months ago. In this short time, he has resigned from two jobs and is now onto his third position. Despite the recent job change, he is already expressing complaints about the workload and seems to prefer procrastinating rather than tackling tasks head-on.

I'm unsure of how to address this recurring pattern and support him effectively. The constant job changes and stress-related complaints are beginning to take a strain on me and our financial resources. I do not want to sound too pushy, but I’m worried about the coming months if this pattern continues. -- Husband on the Job Hunt

DEAR HUSBAND ON THE JOB HUNT: Step back for a moment. What was your husband’s work life like before you got married? Did he have a steady job? Was he grounded in his work? How did he spend his time during the day? Then think about what has happened since you got married. What has changed? Talk to your husband about his situation, and ask him what’s going on. Gently probe to find out what started this pattern of quitting and restlessness. Talk to him about your plans as a family, and get a sense from him of what he wants long-term. If the two of you have discussed this in the past, remind him of your shared ideas, and talk about how you can get back on track.

Be serious when you talk to him. Let your husband know how disturbing his erratic work behavior has become and how it is impacting your household finances. If he shuts down when you attempt to talk to him, revisit the conversation again later. This is too important to ignore. You have to figure out a way forward that involves clear communication between the two of you about your life together and your future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have developed feelings for my male� therapist, who has been providing me with counseling for anxiety and stress management. I find myself drawn to him in a way that feels like more than a professional relationship. While I appreciate his support and guidance in helping me navigate my mental health challenges, I am struggling with the ethical dilemma of wanting to ask him out. The thought of crossing this boundary feels inappropriate, yet I can't ignore these emotions. I'm not sure how to deal with this without messing up the therapy process. -- Falling for My Therapist

DEAR FALLING FOR MY THERAPIST: While it is not unusual for a patient to develop feelings for a therapist, it is not ethical for the therapist to reciprocate in any way. If you do not think you are capable of continuing to see your therapist in his professional role, you should ask him to refer you to someone else to counsel you. Then, if you still want to, you may broach the subject of going on a date.

Whether or not you end up dating this therapist isn’t so much the issue, but it will be hard for you to listen and work together if you are harboring feelings for him. Be honest with your therapist. If he is a true professional, he will help you find another therapist.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is 10 years old and is behind his peers academically. His literacy and writing skills are not nearly where they are supposed to be, and I can’t afford to help him. I am a single mother working two jobs, so I am unable to practice these important skills with him, and I don’t have the money to hire extra help.

My son struggled with online learning during the pandemic, which is where his issues began, and he has been unable to catch up. I thought it was his teacher’s responsibility to make sure that my son is ready to move on to the next grade, but we are based in Alabama where the education system is poorly funded. I've noticed that his self-esteem has taken a hit because he recognizes that he is behind his classmates. He gets frustrated easily when trying to read or write, which only adds to his reluctance to practice these essential skills. I try to encourage him as much as I can, but my availability is limited, and I fear that my efforts are not enough. How can I best support him given my limited time and financial constraints? -- Desperate for Help

DEAR DESPERATE FOR HELP: Clearly your son needs academic support. Even in Alabama, he should be able to get it. You need to get him professionally evaluated to be able to pinpoint exactly what his deficiencies are. Start this process by contacting your school district and requesting an evaluation for your child. You might have to take off some hours from work to get through the process, but if your son is evaluated to need an individualized education program, your district will have to provide resources to support his development. Go here to learn more about how to sign up: childrensal.org/sites/default/files/workfiles/Clinical_Services/CBH/IEP_Info_Sheet-ENGLISH.pdf

If your child is identified as having a learning disability, you will receive a written diagnosis, and then you should receive guidance on next steps. According to the Alabama Parent Education Center, “An IEP is a written statement for a child with a disability that is developed, reviewed and revised in a meeting with an IEP team in compliance with IDEA (Individuals With Disabilities Education Act). The IEP is a written record of the decisions made by the IEP team. It further serves as a commitment to services needed to meet a student’s individual learning needs. ... The IEP has two general purposes: 1. To establish measurable annual goals for the child and; 2. To state the special education and related services and supplementary aids and services that the school system will provide to the child.”

DEAR HARRIETTE: How can I politely decline social invitations without hurting the feelings of friends who may not understand my need for personal time and space? I often find myself choosing between prioritizing self-care and maintaining social connections, especially when feeling exhausted and in need of solitude. Most of my friends are extroverted, and they complain when I don’t attend events. As a people pleaser, communicating my boundaries and reasons for declining invitations can be challenging, as I don't want to disappoint or offend my friends. I’m seeking advice on what to do in another situation like this. -- In Need of Solitude

DEAR IN NEED OF SOLITUDE: You don’t have to explain. Just continue to politely decline invitations to events you don’t want to attend and happily accept the ones you choose. Remain a mystery. That’s just fine!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Am I being selfish for pointing out to my girlfriend that she will not always be the top priority in our relationship, which is a reality due to my commitments as a performer and dancer? Often, the group requires us to relocate to another state for monthslong event preparations, leaving me with limited communication time as production demands are intensive. Exhaustion and lack of cellular service also contribute to communication challenges during these periods. Her negative reaction to my explanation has me questioning if continuing the relationship is viable, or if it's best to let go. -- Performer Boyfriend

DEAR PERFORMER BOYFRIEND: Try wording your reality a little differently. Perhaps it is not that she loses the role of being top priority, but more that the demands of your job create limitations on your availability. Just like a firefighter cannot answer the phone when they are fighting a fire, a surgeon cannot pick up while in the operating room or an operator in a call center cannot talk to you when in queue to answer other calls, you cannot talk when you are in production. This doesn’t mean you love her less; it means you are busy. Consider using the BeReal app that prompts you to send each other pictures once a day. This will at least remind her that you are thinking of her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: You gave “Empty Nest,” the woman with grown children and a workaholic husband good advice to discuss their altered life together. I would also tell her to go do things on her own -- take classes, join a book club, learn a new hobby. She could get a pet or volunteer at an animal rescue, food bank, hospital or school. You can find joy when you meet new people with similar interests. Best of all, helping others makes you feel good. -- Retired Medical Librarian

DEAR RETIRED MEDICAL LIBRARIAN: Being responsible for your own happiness is the name of the game! Often, when people retire or their children leave or other big changes occur in life, they turn to their spouses to handle the moment. I remember when my father retired, he started following my mother around wherever she went. The day that he decided to accompany her to the hairdresser was the day she put her foot down and told him he had to find something else to do! He ended up volunteering for an organization that he had once worked with. He became busy. The group benefited from his expertise, and my mother no longer had a stalker! As time passed, the two of them discovered things they could do together that they had never even considered before. It was lovely to see a whole new romance blossom between them. It took both of them finding a new way of interacting.

I love your idea of finding your own way to be content. That positive attitude is attractive and can do wonders for inviting your own partner to want to spend more time with you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)