DEAR HARRIETTE: During a recent team meeting, my co-worker “Alex” presented an idea that I had shared with him over a cup of coffee. He claimed it as his own and received praise from our boss while I sat there feeling frustrated and overlooked. This is not the first time Alex has taken credit for my contributions, and it's starting to lower my morale at work. Our boss hates conflict, especially between employees, but I want to address this situation with Alex professionally to ensure proper recognition in the future. At the same time, I might just stop talking to him altogether. -- Credit Grabber

DEAR CREDIT GRABBER: You should definitely stop sharing your ideas with Alex. He has proven to be untrustworthy. Keep your conversations to a minimum, but don’t act upset. That would give him more power. Just be pleasant and light.

In the future, if Alex -- or anyone else -- steals an idea from you, pipe up in the meeting and take it back. You can say, “Yes, Alex. That’s exactly what I was describing to you the other day. I’m glad you like my idea.” Or you can build allyships with other employees who also know your idea and can speak up on your behalf when Alex tries to claim your idea as his own.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My two daughters are a little over a year apart and are in constant competition with each other in every aspect of life. They are 12 and 13 years old, and they constantly fight with each other about who has better grades, who’s more athletic or who is prettier. It started off as regular sibling banter, but now I feel as if it has progressed to something more serious and intense. Their rivalry is affecting our family dynamic and causing a lot of tension at home. They are always comparing themselves to each other, which leads to frequent arguments and feelings of inadequacy.

I worry that this ongoing competition is damaging my daughters’ relationship and their self-esteem. Instead of supporting and uplifting each other, they seem to be tearing each other down. I want them to have a healthy relationship and to be able to celebrate each other's successes rather than viewing them as threats. I’m at a loss for how to address this issue effectively. How can I encourage them to see each other as allies rather than adversaries? -- Tough Competition

DEAR TOUGH COMPETITION: Your daughters need some separation. Can you put them in two different summer camps during the day or even for a week or more this summer? Enroll them in separate extracurricular events that interest them individually. In this way, they will have different stories to share. They may still compete, but hopefully they will meet new friends and begin to have experiences that distract from their sisterly gripes.

They are at a competitive age, but you are right to want to reinforce love rather than envy. Remind them that family is important and that you always want them to have each other. Invite them to stop picking each other apart and to step away when they can’t seem to stop. Enroll them in a yoga class so they can learn deep breathing and other techniques to calm themselves from the inside out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a boyfriend of five years. Yes, you read that right: five years. I love him very much and have been waiting patiently for around four years for him to ask me to marry him. I know it sounds bad and I need to have more respect for myself, but I can’t see my life without him. His hesitation stems from his parents' divorce when he was young, which has made him cautious about marriage. Despite our strong relationship, this fear seems to be holding him back from taking the next step. I've tried to be understanding and patient, but it's becoming increasingly difficult for me to cope with the uncertainty and the waiting.

I don’t want to pressure my boyfriend into something he’s not ready for, but I need to consider my own feelings and the future I envision for us. Should I leave him for someone who doesn’t have these hesitations and will follow through with marriage, or should I wait it out? How can I address this issue with him without causing tension or making him feel pushed? -- Time To Make a Move

DEAR TIME TO MAKE A MOVE: Maybe your boyfriend needs an ultimatum to take action. If you want to marry him, tell him. Better yet, you can ask him to marry you. You can let him know that it is time for the two of you either to move forward and make a firm commitment or to disband your relationship. Tell him what you want. If that is marriage and a plan to create a family together, describe your vision. Ask him if he wants that, too. If so, push past the fear -- together -- and go for it. If not, you should free yourself to build a life with someone who wants to be your partner.

A word of caution: If you have someone waiting in the wings who seems like second prize, that may never work for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor constantly plays loud music late into the night, disrupting my sleep and causing frustration. Just last night, they had a loud party that lasted until the early hours of the morning, with music blaring and guests being rowdy. Despite my polite requests to lower the volume, the noise continued. This is not the first time this has happened, and I am finding it challenging to address this issue without escalating tensions in our neighborhood. I want to find a solution to the noise problem that works for both of us. Any advice would be great. -- Inconsiderate Neighbors

DEAR INCONSIDERATE NEIGHBORS: Check the noise ordinances in your neighborhood. In some areas, there are restrictions on how loud music can be after a certain hour. If that’s the case where you live, file a complaint against your neighbor, citing a noise violation. You can also call 311 (not 911) to report excessive noise. In some instances, a law enforcement official will come out to check on the noise and invite the offender to turn it down. This action could help to shut down the music or aggravate your neighbor. Only resort to reporting them if you can’t take it anymore.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate has been repeatedly borrowing my clothes without permission and returning them stained or stretched out. I recently discovered that she also used my laptop without asking, leading to scratches on the screen and unauthorized downloads. Confronting her about these incidents makes me uncomfortable and anxious about potential conflicts. Unfortunately, moving out is not currently an option for me due to financial constraints. I just want to live in an environment where I do not need to check every little thing. -- Disrespectful Roommate

DEAR DISRESPECTFUL ROOMMATE: You and your roommate need to establish ground rules for living together. That should have occurred before you moved in, but here you are. Push past your worries about conflict and think about appropriate boundaries for healthy living. Invite your roommate to sit down for a meeting with you. Tell her you have some concerns and need to address them with her. Explain that while you are roommates and you must share space, you did not expect her to wear your clothing or use your computer without your permission. Tell her you were surprised to notice that she has done these things. Point out that you have noticed some of your clothes being worn, soiled and stretched, though you are certain you did not loan them to her. Similarly, explain what you noticed about your computer.

Ask her not to use your things without your permission. Period. Sit back and listen for what she has to say. Sometimes people blur boundaries because that’s the way they grew up. For instance, if she had siblings who commonly wore each other’s clothes, she may not have thought about the fact that you are not her sibling and, therefore, she doesn’t have the same rights. Do your best not to judge, but instead to understand her. Then come to an agreement on what you two can share and what remains off limits. Lock away your computer and put your valuable clothing and accessories in suitcases if you need to keep them out of her reach.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a suggestion for “Pageant Woman,” the woman who wants Barbie arms while keeping her authenticity: Try working out your arms. Using a simple can of fruit or veggies can help. Start out doing a set of 10 curls, and then work your way up to two sets, then three sets. You can incorporate these during your daily activities -- while waiting on hold, while watching the news, etc. -- You Can Do It

DEAR YOU CAN DO IT: I love your practical idea! Rather than envying someone else for what they have that you don’t, or resorting to extreme means like plastic surgery -- especially if you would still be left with the rest of your body not being fit -- take action.

By the way, for all of us couch potatoes who may be staring into our computer screens for way too long day in and day out, doing some arm flexing while sitting at that computer can pay off -- even if you aren’t headed for the pageant life!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)