DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I'm drowning in my empty home. My kids have all grown up and moved out, leaving a quiet house behind. My husband seems to be married to his work and spends more time at the office than at home. With everyone gone, all I have left is our puppy. I adore our furry friend, but obviously, he doesn’t speak the same language as me.

I understand the demands of my husband's career, and I've been a supportive wife for 25 years. Lately, though, it feels like our relationship has taken a back seat to his work commitments, even though he has built a strong status at work and doesn’t need to stay as late anymore. We don’t have to support our three kids anymore, so he should be thinking about retiring soon, but instead, he’s taken on more hours. The occasional dinners together and rushed conversations in passing hardly seem enough to sustain the connection we once shared. How do I cope with this loneliness and reconnect with my husband, who seems more interested in his career than in our relationship? -- Empty Nest

DEAR EMPTY NEST: Now that your children are out of the house, you two need to redefine your relationship. Yes, you need to talk about it. Prepare a special meal, and invite your husband to join you. Let him know you want to talk. Then tell him you want to spend more time with him. Your lives are different now without a houseful of children and family responsibilities. Ask him to envision this new life with you. What would he like to do now that you have more time? Suggest that he consider retirement. Encourage him to have weekly dates with you where you do something together. Plan a vacation. Socialize with friends. Ask him to make an effort with you because you are lonely and you need him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 28-year-old uncle is currently living with us, and I want him to move out. My father's younger brother was laid off from his job due to alcohol abuse. He would typically work for a week, and once he received his weekly wage, he would spend all that money on drinking and miss days of work until his funds ran out. This cycle continued, and he was eventually terminated. Due to his record, it has been challenging for him to secure another job, and he pleaded with my dad to let him stay with us for a few weeks. It has been five months, and all he does is drink. I am a college student working part-time to help lessen the burden on my family. I find his behavior extremely frustrating. I want to ask him to leave, but my father wants to support him, leaving me uncertain about what steps to take. -- Slob Uncle

DEAR SLOB UNCLE: Your uncle is sick, and he needs help. If you look at him as a sick man, it may help you to have some compassion for him. Since you cannot impact whether he stays or goes, your ability to have empathy for him may help you to endure his presence. Keep your distance. Do your schoolwork, and continue to support your family in whatever ways you can.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: The tipping culture in the United States is puzzling to me as someone from Japan, where tipping is not customary. In Japan, tips can imply that the employer does not provide adequate wages.

After moving to New Orleans, I discovered that tipping was expected for various services, including food, transportation and even coffee. While this practice appears excessive, I still adhere to it. I seek insights into this custom and its significance in your culture. -- Is Tipping Necessary?

DEAR IS TIPPING NECESSARY?: What a great question. It got me researching the origins of tipping in America. The results are somewhat disturbing. You are right that the expectation of tips, especially in the restaurant industry, is so great that the wage for tipped employees in some states is significantly lower than minimum wage -- as little as $2.13 per hour. The belief has been that tips will balance out what a restaurant server will make, thereby bringing it back to the state’s general minimum wage. That means when servers or others in the restaurant industry do not receive tips, their overall wages for that day may be extremely low.

For the customer in America today, the most common tip amount is 15% to 20%. To give less than that is considered rude or a sign that you felt the service was not acceptable. This goes for everything from food service to car services, hairdressers and other service providers.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wealthy sister is questioning my parenting style, leaving me frustrated. Just a year older than me, she married into money. While we had enough growing up, we wouldn't have considered ourselves rich.

During my sister's birthday, my daughter and husband met my extremely spoiled niece and nephew. I hate to judge children, but there's no other way to describe these kids. Yesterday we all went shopping. My sister kept offering to buy my daughter things, but I repeatedly refused. She made annoying remarks, insisting it didn’t matter because she could afford it and it’s necessary to give children everything they want. However, my priority is teaching my daughter financial responsibility, moderation and patience.

This situation has caused tension between my sister and me. I tried talking to her about it, but it seems my points are not getting across. I’m not sure what the next approach should be. -- Parenting Style

DEAR PARENTING STYLE: You can continue to teach your daughter what you value without disparaging your sister. It is obvious to you and your daughter that your sister and her family live differently than you do. I think you can allow your sister to give your daughter an extravagant gift without fear of your daughter becoming like your niece. Allowing your sister to do what she values for your daughter gives her a bit of comfort because it says you are letting her shower your daughter with her love. Right now, your sister feels like you are rejecting her.

Sit with your sister and make an agreement. She can give your daughter one special gift. For yourself, you have to accept your sister for who she is and stop judging her or her family as you continue to teach your daughter how you expect her to conduct herself in life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it crossing the line if I attend my ex-boyfriend's wedding? We have known each other for 16 years as neighbors. Despite breaking up three years ago, I recently received an invitation to his upcoming wedding. I am still single since our split, and his impending marriage came as a shock. (Our breakup was fine; we broke up due to career priorities overshadowing our relationship.)

With his invitation, there is a letter attached saying how he would appreciate it if I attend his wedding. I fear that my attendance may create discomfort for those aware of our history, including his soon-to-be wife. -- Ex's Wedding

DEAR EX’S WEDDING: Why don’t you pick up the phone and give your ex a call? Congratulate him on his upcoming wedding. Let him tell you about his fiancee and their plans for the future. When the time is right, tell him that you do not think it is appropriate for you to attend his wedding -- for many reasons. While you are happy for him that he has found a life partner, you believe that your breakup is still too fresh for it to be comfortable for you to be at that pivotal event.

For your own sanity and peace, you should not go. Clearly, you have not fully moved on. To attend his wedding will be emotionally difficult for you, and likely for others. Do everyone a favor and stay away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need advice on the concept of “no strings attached.” In my last relationship, my partner cheated on me. Now I am with a guy I’m not officially dating. From the start, we agreed that we were just hanging out, and it would be casual. Yet, we do everything together -- intimate and platonic activities -- almost like a relationship, but with no label on it.

I am developing feelings for this guy now. (My friends warned me it would happen.) I want to confess my feelings, but I am afraid that it might make him take a step back, and I am not ready to be left alone. -- Is It Really No Strings Attached?

DEAR IS IT REALLY NO STRINGS ATTACHED?: I’ve heard a similar story from the other side of this kind of relationship, where a man with multiple love interests tells everyone that their relationship is casual. Because he is kind and attentive, the partner naturally believes that the relationship must be deeper. Even more, it can seem hard to imagine that he would have other partners. Where would he find the time? In the case of the person I’m mentioning, he definitely has more than three women who probably all believe they are “the one,” even though they have agreed that the relationship is casual.

Given that background, I recommend that you speak up. Sure, it could result in you two breaking it off. Or it could be that you both acknowledge how you are feeling, even if it remains “casual.” And yes, there is a chance that he will choose to be exclusive with you, but don’t count on that. You need to be ready to decide what you are willing to continue to do if the dynamics don’t change. Since it is hard to control your feelings, you need to decide whether it’s time to control your behavior.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)