DEAR HARRIETTE: I have ginger hair and hazel-brown eyes, while my wife is a brunette with brown eyes. Despite our genetics, our 2-year-old child is dark-haired with blue eyes with a speck of green. My mother and sister cannot stop insinuating that my wife may have cheated on me. I consistently reject this idea and have become increasingly frustrated over time. I know my wife is faithful and loyal as she has always been. However, the persistent remarks from them and other family members at gatherings are beginning to affect me. I am considering a DNA test, but I fear my wife will feel doubted and betrayed by suggesting it. -- Confused Father
DEAR CONFUSED FATHER: Does your wife know about your family’s grumblings about your daughter? Start by filling her in. Let her know that there has been ongoing whispering by your family and how disconcerting it is. Tell her that you didn’t bring it up sooner because you think it is ridiculous, but that it is getting to you now that two years later they haven’t let up.
Genetics are amazing. You have to look at family history to find the links to the origins of different traits. In many families, there is a wide variety of characteristics that appear at different points in different generations.
You and your wife should decide together how to address this. You could speak to the family elders to ask them to get the family to stop with the accusations and to accept your family for who you are. You can speak to individuals or the whole family together. Or you could do a DNA test to prove your daughter’s bloodlines. Whatever you do, do it as a united front.