DEAR HARRIETTE: Adoption seems to be the only option for my seven-year marriage to work. My wife is unable to bear children due to polycystic ovary syndrome, and this has put a strain on our hopes of starting a family. We have explored various options, but adoption appears to be the most viable solution for us to fulfill our desire to become parents and strengthen our bond.
I really don’t know how to approach the topic of adoption with my wife. How can we support each other through this process and ensure that our decision to adopt is a positive and fulfilling experience for both of us? -- Our Only Option
DEAR OUR ONLY OPTION: First, allow yourselves to mourn the reality that you cannot have biological children. You need to accept that truth in order to move past it. Knowing this reality, talk about your options. Remind your wife that you two have always wanted children, and you still do. Introduce the idea of adoption as a solution. You can care for a child who desperately needs the love and support you have to offer and build your family.
Research adoption agencies in your area to learn about the process. Share your findings with your wife, and give her space to think about it. Suggest that you have an in-person meeting with an adoption agency to talk about the process. It may take time for her to warm up to this option, but with love and patience, she may be able to consider this lifeline to growing your family.