DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently received advice from someone suggesting that I should not befriend boys because I already have a boyfriend. This is my first time having a boyfriend, but I have a group of male friends I have been close to for years. It feels weird to walk away from my true friends in order to have a relationship. This advice has left me contemplating whether I should follow this suggestion. I value friendships with both males and females, but I am unsure if it is appropriate to limit my interactions based on my relationship status.
Should I consider refraining from forming friendships with boys to prevent potential complications in my relationship? I strongly believe in fostering healthy and meaningful connections irrespective of gender, yet I am also keen on upholding the boundaries of my romantic commitment. -- Unfriendly
DEAR UNFRIENDLY: What do you want? It sounds like you had a life before this boyfriend that was meaningful to you. Is this relationship worth throwing that away? What kind of relationship do you want to have? I suggest that you think about your life and your friends and what and who you value. Of course people make certain accommodations in romantic relationships, but you should be careful. Don’t give up friends because someone said you can’t have friends with a whole gender of people. That probably isn’t the life you want to live. So don’t live it.
Instead, talk to your boyfriend. Let him know who the key people are in your life and introduce him to them. Don’t keep friends a secret. Make it as comfortable as possible for your boyfriend to meet them. See how the relationships unfold. This will help you know if your boyfriend fits into your life.