DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 29-year-old single mom to twin boys who are 6 years old. Due to unforeseen financial constraints, I find myself unable to afford professional child care services. In light of this, I am considering asking my family for help in watching my kids from time to time. However, I'm concerned about bringing up the topic. I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable or obligated, because I wouldn’t be able to pay them much or anything at all. How can I communicate my situation to my family, expressing the need for their support, without putting them in an awkward position? I want to ensure that my request is respectful, understanding that their time is valuable. Any advice on framing this conversation and addressing the financial aspect without making them feel burdened would be greatly appreciated. -- In a Bind
DEAR IN A BIND: Think about who might be the most receptive to helping you, and talk to that person first. Be honest about your situation. Explain that you need help sometimes with watching your children. Admit that right now you cannot afford to hire a babysitter, so you are hoping that family members can help out on occasion. Ideally, your family members would not charge you anything when they pitch in. Do not offer what you don’t have. What you should provide is food, toys and anything else that will make your children’s stay with them as easy as possible. Ask this family member to help you broach the request with others as you map out a strategy.
Additionally, look in your network of other mothers. I know of mothers who have forged tight relationships in their communities where they help each other by collectively caring for the children whenever needed.