DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 30-year-old woman with a mother who continually comments on my weight whenever we interact. This has been a recurring theme since my teenage years, and I find myself struggling with the impact it has on my self-esteem. Despite my efforts to maintain a positive body image and focus on overall well-being, my mother's comments have become a source of emotional distress. I have tried expressing my feelings to her, but the comments persist, making it challenging for me to enjoy our time together. It's difficult to feel judged based on my appearance rather than appreciated for who I am. I understand the importance of open communication, but I am unsure of how to address this issue with my mother without causing further strain on our relationship. -- Stop Bullying Me

DEAR STOP BULLYING ME: You may need to take some time off from being around your mother. In order for her to get the message that the way that she talks to you is not OK, you have to show her that when she makes those comments, the result will be that she doesn’t get to spend time with you. Tell her what the consequences are so that there is complete clarity. Then follow through. You can point it out in the moment when she says something hurtful so that she knows. Then walk away, hang up the phone or otherwise disengage.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I initiated the end of a three-year relationship with my boyfriend around three months ago because I felt that we had become somewhat bored with each other. However, now that some time has passed, I find myself deeply regretting this decision. My ex-boyfriend was always kind and caring, and I realize that these qualities are not easy to come by. To add to the complexity of my emotions, he has since moved on and is now in a new relationship. I must admit that I am experiencing feelings of jealousy, which is taking a toll on my emotional well-being. I am unsure of how to feel about these emotions and whether it's appropriate to express my regret to him. Additionally, how can I cope with the jealousy I am feeling about his new relationship? I want to find a healthy way to move forward and learn from this experience. -- Full of Regrets

DEAR FULL OF REGRETS: You made a decision. Now you have to live with it. Too often, people break up because one partner seems boring or too routine-oriented. Yet in solid relationships, it takes at least one half of a team to be disciplined and predictable. Consider this a lesson learned for you.

Your ex moving on and getting into another relationship is your cue to move on as well. You no longer have the right to go to him and ask for him to come back to you. Allow him to have peace as he lives his life. As far as the jealousy goes, accept it for what it is. You made a rash decision without thinking through all of the repercussions. You will have to live with that. As you consider your next partner, be more specific about traits and qualities that you admire, and welcome them when they appear.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I recently got into a fight because she put me in an uncomfortable situation. I am a fairly reserved person, and she is very extroverted, so this can cause us to have conflicting reactions to certain scenarios. She pushed for me to enter this situation, and I went ahead with it because I didn’t want to disappoint my friend and I am not great at setting boundaries. Things ended up reaching a point where I finally told my friend that we needed to leave. I am upset at her and myself for not putting a stop to everything sooner. I want to blame her for everything that happened, but she says it’s unfair that I blame her because she would have left if I had asked. She was just so adamant and loud about wanting to go to the event that I went with her.

We’ve talked it over, but I wouldn’t say everything is resolved because whenever she says it's unfair for me to blame her for everything that happened, I just stare at her -- I don’t know how to respond. I don’t blame her for the actions of others, but I do blame her for putting me in the situation. I don’t know if I’ll ever look at her the same way. How should I move forward with the relationship? -- Lack of Trust

DEAR LACK OF TRUST: First, you cannot blame your friend for everything that happened. You made the decision to go with her. You may have felt coerced, but you could have said no. Eventually, you did draw the line. What you must realize is that you cannot trust yourself to make a smart decision when you are being pressured by this person. Perhaps you should distance yourself from her, at least for a while. Know that this is not a punishment for her. Instead, it is an acceptance on your part that you don’t seem to be strong enough right now to make smart decisions when you are in her company. Rather than testing yourself, you can choose to surround yourself with people who share your values.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is partly retired. Usually when I get home from work, he is already here, and he has been sipping alcohol for a couple of hours and smoking weed. I hate walking into a cloud of smoke and the stench of liquor at 6 in the evening. When I have asked my husband to slow down, he just shrugs it off and tells me to lighten up. How can I get him to stop getting intoxicated on a daily basis? -- Sober Up

DEAR SOBER UP: If this behavior is different from the norm for your husband, there may be a chance to alter it. If, in his partly retired state, he is bored and needs something to do, perhaps he can get involved in a hobby or other activity that takes him out of the house on a regular basis. Stimulating his mind and spending time with other people may fill the space that he now uses to drink and get high. Discovering purpose may be the best antidote.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I often find myself procrastinating, and the adrenaline rush of completing tasks under pressure, while effective, leaves me with lingering stress. The cycle is taking a toll on my overall well-being. What strategies or techniques can you recommend to help me break this pattern, overcome procrastination and manage the stress associated with last-minute tasks? -- No More Procrastinating

DEAR NO MORE PROCRASTINATING: Making a plan and implementing it can be the antidote for procrastination. Notice that it is a two-step process. Why? Planners can dream up things to do for days, weeks, even years on end, but implementation is key to success. I believe in coming up with ideas for what needs to be done and writing them down. You can start with big ideas. Just remember to break them down into small-enough steps that they can be manageable. I talk about this a lot, but you can set yourself up for success by giving yourself small tasks that you can accomplish in a limited amount of time. When you check off that you have completed a task, it gives you a sense of accomplishment and more energy to move onto the next task. That’s why written lists are so great. You can see what you have promised yourself you will do and what the outcome is.

Since you fall into the trap of doing things at the last minute, give yourself deadlines throughout the day or week when certain responsibilities need to be completed. Space them out well in advance of your final deadline so that you are not rushing to squeeze them all in at the 11th hour. You can do this.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At 31, I'm grappling with the aftermath of my seven-year relationship's end, where my ex-girlfriend quickly entered a new relationship just two months following my admission of infidelity. Now, not only do suspicions of her potential infidelity linger, but the idea of maintaining our remaining friendship seems increasingly challenging. How can I deal with this complex situation, considering my past mistakes and the need for closure? -- Can We Still Be Friends?

DEAR CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS?: You and your girlfriend were together for a long time, and it seems that your feelings remain unresolved. You are suffering remorse for your misdeeds and desiring a closure that may or may not come. She has moved on. Perhaps the best thing you can do right now is to step back. It is too soon for you two to be friends after having been a couple for so long. Live your life independent of her. Allow yourself to heal. You may want to get counseling to help you work through your emotions and heal your wounds. Now is a time for you to take care of yourself. Perhaps down the line the two of you can rekindle a friendship -- or not. You have to be willing to walk away. This relationship ended. You may never know if she cheated. Let that go, and move on with your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)