DEAR HARRIETTE: Embarking on a health journey in the new year, I'm feeling apprehensive about my lack of expertise in fitness and clean eating. Though I thrive with accountability, I'm embarrassed to ask friends and co-workers to support me. Can you suggest strategies for finding an accountability partner without feeling vulnerable or shy about my fitness journey? -- Looking for a Partner

DEAR LOOKING FOR A PARTNER: Congratulations on being serious about your health and fitness. This may just be the most important focal point for anyone’s life -- even as it tends to be something we overlook. You said it: Embarrassment and vulnerability too frequently get in the way of people making a consistent effort to do what it takes to improve their health. It’s great that you realize you will benefit from an accountability partner. Now -- how to find one.

Look around in your world. Who is physically active? Who is making an effort to be healthy? I don’t mean who is the marathon runner. No. Who is working at it and seems open to talking about it? This could be someone in your hometown with whom you might actually be able to walk, go to the gym or otherwise engage in fitness activities together. Or it could be someone long-distance with whom you can jump on a call and motivate each other remotely. Ask someone who knows and respects you and seems potentially open to a shared journey.

If you can’t think of anyone in your own world, go to the gym and look around. Do you see anybody who looks open to talking to you? Go online to health chat groups. Look for someone who seems to be focused on health. Obviously with strangers, keep your guard up in terms of sharing too much personal info -- think home address, inner circle -- but even a stranger could help keep your feet to the fire.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I would like to share a thought I had when reading the recent letter from “Stop the Bullying.” In addition to your advice of talking to the school officials and her son to get to the bottom of the issues behind the bullying, I believe it’s imperative she also do a deep dive into his online presence and media consumption. While it’s possible that he is involved in similar activity online, I think it’s even more likely that exposure to it there or suffering from bullying himself, whether personally or anonymously, could be contributing to this issue.

She says she has tried to “instill values of kindness and empathy.” but it doesn’t take long to run into online spaces where the opposite values are extolled. Seeing the media he has consumed and interacted with could lead the way to a new understanding of why he is behaving this way. -- Anti-Bullying

DEAR ANTI-BULLYING: Thank you for adding such important thoughts to this conversation about bullying. Social media and general media consumption are like the wild, wild West these days. You are right to point out that they can easily derail anyone, even a young person who grew up with solid moral values.

For parents who need support, you can call the Stop Bullying Now Hotline at 800-273-8255. For students who are trying to make it through the day, text HELLO to 741741; they can connect you to a crisis counselor.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-girlfriend and I, ages 23 and 22 respectively, have made an unconventional decision to continue living together post-breakup for financial reasons. Despite our intentions to maintain a cordial environment until our lease ends in seven months, my family strongly opposes this idea. I'm questioning the potential emotional impact of this arrangement and seeking advice on managing the situation without compromising our peace. -- Interim Arrangements

DEAR INTERIM ARRANGEMENTS: You may be surprised to learn that many couples find themselves in exactly this situation. Whether it’s riding out a lease or a mortgage, when breakups happen, they are rarely convenient, and life circumstances have to be sorted out. As young adults, this will likely be your first big test on how you handle a relationship crisis. You can do it!

As you should have done when you moved in together, establish ground rules for sharing a space. Delineate everything, from who does what chores to shared expenses and policies surrounding guests. While it is likely that you both may begin dating again, you may want to keep your home off-limits to dates and sleepovers. If either of you does want to have romantic company, the other should agree to be out during that time unless you agree that you can be civil to the guest who’s coming over.

Make an exit plan so that when you get to the end of the lease, you are clear about how you will move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Approaching my birthday, I'm conflicted between my preference for laid-back celebrations and my friends' inclination toward lively outings. As I consider hosting a small sleepover instead of having a night out bar-hopping, I'm concerned about maintaining an enjoyable atmosphere. Should I compromise for one night and celebrate my birthday at the newest lounge in our city? It has great reviews -- though I have to admit it's not entirely my scene. -- It’s My Birthday

DEAR IT’S MY BIRTHDAY: The one day of the year when you should be able to do what YOU want to do is your birthday. If bar-hopping isn’t your thing, don’t give it another thought for that day. Sleepovers can be great fun for friends who enjoy each other’s company. Plan out the time with great food and drinks and a few activities. Board games are still winners for group activities. You can also watch a movie together and, of course, just talk and swap fun stories.

Design a welcoming invitation that you send to the people you want to join you. An email or text invitation is fine. Make sure it is clear that this is a personal invitation, meant only for the recipient. Keep it intimate, and enlist support from your closest friends. Do not feel beholden to folks who aren’t part of your inner circle. Not everyone has to be invited to every event. Don’t worry that some friends may prefer to go to the bar. You can all do that together another day.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been upset for quite some time about a project I’m working on. In a meeting the other day, I felt like my contributions were being overlooked while my colleagues’ were being lauded, and I lost it. I wrote a text to the leader and shared my disappointment. Instead of acknowledging my feelings at all, she wrote back that it was inappropriate for me to have sent my thoughts in a text, and she refused to engage.

While I think her way of reacting to my text was wrong, I know we can’t keep going like this, not communicating. We are working together on this job. Should I say something to her? My worry is that I have a lot on my mind about it, and I don’t want a conversation to become incendiary. Normally, she just talks over people when she doesn’t want to hear what they have to say, and criticism is not something she takes well. I can’t leave things like this, though. What should I do? -- Clear the Air

DEAR CLEAR THE AIR: Send her a short, emotion-free text inviting her to talk to you soon so that you two can clear the air. When you do talk, tell her you have some things you need to share with her about how this project is going. Ask her to listen. Tell her the situation with brief examples to illustrate your issues, and bring a prepared list of grievances and concerns. Ask her to let you finish before she jumps in. Be sure to give her space for comment after you complete a thought. Otherwise, she will just sit there boiling. Speak to her with the intention of sharing your thoughts and feelings without attacking her. Hold the intention that this will be a healing experience rather than a skewering on either side.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself in a tricky situation with my boyfriend's sister, who's keen on deepening our bond through frequent hangouts. While I value our relationship, the frequency she prefers doesn't align with my schedule or interests. I appreciate her enthusiasm, but I need advice on dealing with her without straining our relationship, especially given her connection to my boyfriend. -- Off-Balance

DEAR OFF-BALANCE: It is sweet that your boyfriend’s sister wants to be part of your life. Step back and consider why she is doing this. How old is she? What is her relationship with her brother? Could it be that your presence has whisked him away from her -- as so many love relationships do to family and friends, especially in the beginning? Could she be missing her brother and jealous of your relationship? Or is she just genuinely interested in getting to know you and welcoming you into the family? Either way, be gentle and strategic as you pull back from her.

Explain that as much as you enjoy hanging out with her, you can’t do it as often as she would like. Remind her of how you spend your time -- work, extracurriculars, your boyfriend, life. Give her a few examples of what your week often looks like. Suggest that you continue to hang out some, but be clear that you don’t have time to do it all the time. Stay in touch with her via text to let her know you care about her. A little bit of outreach will go a long way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)