DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been upset for quite some time about a project I’m working on. In a meeting the other day, I felt like my contributions were being overlooked while my colleagues’ were being lauded, and I lost it. I wrote a text to the leader and shared my disappointment. Instead of acknowledging my feelings at all, she wrote back that it was inappropriate for me to have sent my thoughts in a text, and she refused to engage.

While I think her way of reacting to my text was wrong, I know we can’t keep going like this, not communicating. We are working together on this job. Should I say something to her? My worry is that I have a lot on my mind about it, and I don’t want a conversation to become incendiary. Normally, she just talks over people when she doesn’t want to hear what they have to say, and criticism is not something she takes well. I can’t leave things like this, though. What should I do? -- Clear the Air

DEAR CLEAR THE AIR: Send her a short, emotion-free text inviting her to talk to you soon so that you two can clear the air. When you do talk, tell her you have some things you need to share with her about how this project is going. Ask her to listen. Tell her the situation with brief examples to illustrate your issues, and bring a prepared list of grievances and concerns. Ask her to let you finish before she jumps in. Be sure to give her space for comment after you complete a thought. Otherwise, she will just sit there boiling. Speak to her with the intention of sharing your thoughts and feelings without attacking her. Hold the intention that this will be a healing experience rather than a skewering on either side.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself in a tricky situation with my boyfriend's sister, who's keen on deepening our bond through frequent hangouts. While I value our relationship, the frequency she prefers doesn't align with my schedule or interests. I appreciate her enthusiasm, but I need advice on dealing with her without straining our relationship, especially given her connection to my boyfriend. -- Off-Balance

DEAR OFF-BALANCE: It is sweet that your boyfriend’s sister wants to be part of your life. Step back and consider why she is doing this. How old is she? What is her relationship with her brother? Could it be that your presence has whisked him away from her -- as so many love relationships do to family and friends, especially in the beginning? Could she be missing her brother and jealous of your relationship? Or is she just genuinely interested in getting to know you and welcoming you into the family? Either way, be gentle and strategic as you pull back from her.

Explain that as much as you enjoy hanging out with her, you can’t do it as often as she would like. Remind her of how you spend your time -- work, extracurriculars, your boyfriend, life. Give her a few examples of what your week often looks like. Suggest that you continue to hang out some, but be clear that you don’t have time to do it all the time. Stay in touch with her via text to let her know you care about her. A little bit of outreach will go a long way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've invested a lot of effort in planning my close friend's wedding and helping coordinate the engagement. However, despite this involvement, I recently discovered that I'm not her maid of honor. Should I have a conversation with her about feeling left out, express my disappointment or consider scaling back my level of involvement in the wedding preparations? -- Feeling Snubbed

DEAR FEELING SNUBBED: Weddings are among the most emotionally volatile events one can ever experience, no matter your role in it. That includes being a close friend of the bride. In your mind, you feel that it is natural that you should be the maid of honor. The bride clearly felt otherwise. It is worth talking to her about, especially since you are feeling it so viscerally.

Sit down with her at a moment when she is not distracted. Tell her that you were surprised to learn that you were not asked to be the maid of honor. Ask her why. Know that this may be difficult for her to answer, as it can feel like a confrontation. Remind her of all of the help you have been providing. Tell her that you would like to step back and give those duties to the person she has chosen as MOH. That doesn’t mean that you will walk away completely, but if you feel like you have put your life on hold to help organize her wedding, you can stop doing that if the role has been assigned to someone else.

You will need to be firm on what you are willing to do as a bridesmaid -- assuming you received that invitation -- and what constitutes going too far. Do your best to forgive your friend for not honoring you with the role you expected.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student preparing to study abroad in Spain, and while I'm excited about the experience, I'm also feeling a bit anxious.

I've been socially reserved during my two years at a university in America, and this study abroad opportunity feels like a chance to break out of my shell. The unique situation is that I have a close friend who will also be joining me on this journey. While I value our friendship, I don’t want to completely rely on her as my only friend throughout my time abroad. The idea of stepping out of my comfort zone is both thrilling and terrifying.

How do I approach this new chapter in a way that allows me to make the most of the experience and form meaningful connections with people beyond my existing friend? How can I overcome my social reservations and build new friendships while studying abroad in Spain? -- A Chance To Fly

DEAR A CHANCE TO FLY: Promise yourself that you will make new friends and regularly have new experiences. Make it a goal to meet at least one new person each week and do one thing weekly with someone else independent of your friend. Keep your eyes open for people who look interesting to you, and walk right up to them and start a conversation. What’s there to lose? You are in a foreign country. Nobody is judging you. Commit to exploring the country with and without you friend. Drum up the courage to exercise your independence. Remember that you are not responsible for your friend, even though you have agreed to spend time with her while you're there.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself in a challenging situation with a close friend. We have known each other for 10 years. Recently, we had a heated argument, and it all stems from her consistently condescending behavior. I've noticed that my friend tends to speak down to me and others, undermining our opinions and making us feel inferior. I've tried addressing this issue with her, but my attempts have been met with defensiveness and dismissiveness. The tension has escalated to the point where our friendship is at risk. I value this relationship, but I can't continue to tolerate the condescension. How can I communicate effectively with my friend about her behavior without causing further damage to our friendship? Is there a way to make her understand the impact of her condescension and work toward a healthier dynamic? I want to salvage our friendship, but it seems like we're stuck in a cycle of negativity. -- At an Impasse

DEAR AT AN IMPASSE: Because you value this friendship so much, think about the person. What is going on in your friend’s life? Is there a reason you can think of for why she is so negative and condescending? Chances are, someone speaks to her in the same way. Approach your friend through the lens of compassion. Rather than challenging her, express your concern that something is going on in her life that is giving her emotional pain. Tenderly ask with a genuine interest in learning what is at the heart of her negativity. It may be that she needs therapy to help heal emotional wounds. You can encourage that.

You do not have to accept emotional abuse, however. If you are unable to convince your friend to speak to you and others more kindly, you may have to draw the line on how much you interact with her -- at least for now. As hard as it may be to say, tell her that you are unwilling to be berated anymore. If she can’t stop, you can no longer spend time with her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been in a relationship for a little over a year, and my girlfriend frequently prepares dinner for us at home. While I appreciate her effort, I'm not particularly fond of some of her dishes, especially when I'm confident in my own cooking abilities. She insists on taking charge in the kitchen. How can I subtly offer cooking tips or express my preferences without hurting her feelings or undermining her efforts? -- Cooking Lessons

DEAR COOKING LESSONS: It is unlikely that your jumping in to coach in the kitchen will be a welcome offering. Instead, consider two options. Thank her for being so eager to cook, and tell her you like to cook, too. Put your foot down and say you want to cook two or three days a week, and make a plan together for when that will be.

Also, invite her to do something culinary together, like taking a cooking class. This can be a fun, ongoing date and a chance for her to refine her cooking skills and you to have fun with her in the kitchen. It could lead to the two of you cooking together at home!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)