DEAR HARRIETTE: I've invested a lot of effort in planning my close friend's wedding and helping coordinate the engagement. However, despite this involvement, I recently discovered that I'm not her maid of honor. Should I have a conversation with her about feeling left out, express my disappointment or consider scaling back my level of involvement in the wedding preparations? -- Feeling Snubbed

DEAR FEELING SNUBBED: Weddings are among the most emotionally volatile events one can ever experience, no matter your role in it. That includes being a close friend of the bride. In your mind, you feel that it is natural that you should be the maid of honor. The bride clearly felt otherwise. It is worth talking to her about, especially since you are feeling it so viscerally.

Sit down with her at a moment when she is not distracted. Tell her that you were surprised to learn that you were not asked to be the maid of honor. Ask her why. Know that this may be difficult for her to answer, as it can feel like a confrontation. Remind her of all of the help you have been providing. Tell her that you would like to step back and give those duties to the person she has chosen as MOH. That doesn’t mean that you will walk away completely, but if you feel like you have put your life on hold to help organize her wedding, you can stop doing that if the role has been assigned to someone else.

You will need to be firm on what you are willing to do as a bridesmaid -- assuming you received that invitation -- and what constitutes going too far. Do your best to forgive your friend for not honoring you with the role you expected.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student preparing to study abroad in Spain, and while I'm excited about the experience, I'm also feeling a bit anxious.

I've been socially reserved during my two years at a university in America, and this study abroad opportunity feels like a chance to break out of my shell. The unique situation is that I have a close friend who will also be joining me on this journey. While I value our friendship, I don’t want to completely rely on her as my only friend throughout my time abroad. The idea of stepping out of my comfort zone is both thrilling and terrifying.

How do I approach this new chapter in a way that allows me to make the most of the experience and form meaningful connections with people beyond my existing friend? How can I overcome my social reservations and build new friendships while studying abroad in Spain? -- A Chance To Fly

DEAR A CHANCE TO FLY: Promise yourself that you will make new friends and regularly have new experiences. Make it a goal to meet at least one new person each week and do one thing weekly with someone else independent of your friend. Keep your eyes open for people who look interesting to you, and walk right up to them and start a conversation. What’s there to lose? You are in a foreign country. Nobody is judging you. Commit to exploring the country with and without you friend. Drum up the courage to exercise your independence. Remember that you are not responsible for your friend, even though you have agreed to spend time with her while you're there.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself in a challenging situation with a close friend. We have known each other for 10 years. Recently, we had a heated argument, and it all stems from her consistently condescending behavior. I've noticed that my friend tends to speak down to me and others, undermining our opinions and making us feel inferior. I've tried addressing this issue with her, but my attempts have been met with defensiveness and dismissiveness. The tension has escalated to the point where our friendship is at risk. I value this relationship, but I can't continue to tolerate the condescension. How can I communicate effectively with my friend about her behavior without causing further damage to our friendship? Is there a way to make her understand the impact of her condescension and work toward a healthier dynamic? I want to salvage our friendship, but it seems like we're stuck in a cycle of negativity. -- At an Impasse

DEAR AT AN IMPASSE: Because you value this friendship so much, think about the person. What is going on in your friend’s life? Is there a reason you can think of for why she is so negative and condescending? Chances are, someone speaks to her in the same way. Approach your friend through the lens of compassion. Rather than challenging her, express your concern that something is going on in her life that is giving her emotional pain. Tenderly ask with a genuine interest in learning what is at the heart of her negativity. It may be that she needs therapy to help heal emotional wounds. You can encourage that.

You do not have to accept emotional abuse, however. If you are unable to convince your friend to speak to you and others more kindly, you may have to draw the line on how much you interact with her -- at least for now. As hard as it may be to say, tell her that you are unwilling to be berated anymore. If she can’t stop, you can no longer spend time with her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been in a relationship for a little over a year, and my girlfriend frequently prepares dinner for us at home. While I appreciate her effort, I'm not particularly fond of some of her dishes, especially when I'm confident in my own cooking abilities. She insists on taking charge in the kitchen. How can I subtly offer cooking tips or express my preferences without hurting her feelings or undermining her efforts? -- Cooking Lessons

DEAR COOKING LESSONS: It is unlikely that your jumping in to coach in the kitchen will be a welcome offering. Instead, consider two options. Thank her for being so eager to cook, and tell her you like to cook, too. Put your foot down and say you want to cook two or three days a week, and make a plan together for when that will be.

Also, invite her to do something culinary together, like taking a cooking class. This can be a fun, ongoing date and a chance for her to refine her cooking skills and you to have fun with her in the kitchen. It could lead to the two of you cooking together at home!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My great-aunt and great-uncle recently shared their intention to leave me their cherished small jewelry store when they pass away. This business holds sentimental value, as it was established and nurtured by them, becoming a local staple. While my cousins or siblings would gladly inherit this legacy, I’m uncertain about taking on the role of a business owner, particularly as I approach middle age. The stress and responsibility associated with running the store are daunting to me. How can I address this situation delicately without disappointing my relatives or feeling overwhelmed by this unexpected inheritance? -- Inheritance Woes

DEAR INHERITANCE WOES: Be grateful that your aunt and uncle gave you the heads-up about their plans. Instead of freaking out, spend time with them learning about the ins and outs of the business. Thank them for their confidence in you to continue their dream, and be forthright about your apprehensions. Start by asking them as many clarifying questions as you can. Why have they chosen you for this daunting role? What do they see in you that makes them trust that you are the right person for the job? How does the business function? Is it profitable? What are the weak points? How do they source inventory? Who works for them and can be trusted? Learn absolutely everything that you can so that you are ready when they pass -- or so that you can respectfully and clearly tell them you cannot accept their generous gift.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went on a first date with a nice guy I met online, but during our time together, I noticed his attention often wandered to other women around us. While we haven't established exclusivity, given this was date No. 1, I'm unsure if my feelings of discomfort stem from being overly sensitive or if it's a sign of potential compatibility issues. He's asked me for a second date, and I'm conflicted about whether to accept. Should I give it another chance and go on a second date, or is it a cue to reassess our connection and expectations moving forward? -- Wandering Eyes

DEAR WANDERING EYES: If you find the guy interesting, you have a couple of options. You can talk to him before accepting his invitation and tell him that while you enjoyed his company, you are a bit surprised that he called you for another date because you noticed that he was distracted by other women the whole time you were together. If he can’t focus on you during your date, you will pass on going out again. That may seem abrupt, but it addresses your concern directly and gives him an opportunity to see his behavior and react to it.

If you don’t think you can be that bold, you can go out with him one more time. At the first indication of wandering eyes, you need to check him on it. You can use humor by saying something like, “Are you on this date with me, or are you interested in inviting someone else to join our party?” If he acts surprised, point out that he is doing something you noticed on your first date, namely being distracted by other women when he is supposed to be paying attention to you. Make it clear to him that no matter what his excuse is, if he wants to date you, he needs to put on some blinders.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)