DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever I find myself in large gatherings or social events, I constantly feel like I'm dissociating. It's as if I'm present physically, but mentally, I struggle to connect with others, and everything around me feels distant and surreal. This has become increasingly difficult for me, as I want to engage and connect with people, but it seems like a barrier exists. I've noticed that I withdraw during these situations, making it hard for me to form meaningful connections or enjoy social activities. It's disheartening because I value my relationships, and I want to be fully present in those moments.

Do you have any advice on how I can overcome this feeling of dissociation during large gatherings? I want to be able to enjoy socializing without this constant sense of detachment. Are there techniques or strategies I can use to feel more connected and present in social settings? -- Dissociation

DEAR DISSOCIATION: When you arrive at one of these large events, stand back and take in the whole scene before you enter. Look around for someone you know or someone who looks interesting. Rather than seeing the event as this overwhelmingly huge, unmanageable group of people, view it as several small clusters of people. Set your sights on one group, and head toward them. Introduce yourself and share one thing about why you are there. Invite them to talk as well. Continue to float from one group to another, keeping your mind on each small gathering of people rather than the overall event.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost my job at the end of last year, and I have not sorted out how I am going to manage my life right now. I will receive unemployment for a few more weeks, but that is not enough, and it won’t last anyway. I have been looking for a job, but honestly my confidence is shot. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid I will lose everything if I don’t find some kind of employment. I also feel too embarrassed to go for service jobs when I have worked as a professional for many years. What do you think I should do to get my act together? -- Out of Work

DEAR OUT OF WORK: Tackle your job search with as much energy as you would if you were on the job. Write down all of your talents and capabilities. Get creative as you think about what you are good at doing. Then go online and look for job postings in areas that reflect your abilities. Identify at least five potential jobs each day, and send your resume and a cover letter explaining why you would be great for the job.

Meanwhile, look outside of your core talent areas to see what other jobs are available -- including service jobs. For example, ride share services or delivery services are popular now and still allow for time to search for your dream job. Think of any job you can get for now as a way to tide you over until you land in the job you really want.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in a three-year relationship with my boyfriend, and things have been going well. Recently, he expressed a desire for us to take our relationship to the next level and move in together. While I care for him and can see a future together, I am hesitant about moving in before we are engaged. This hesitation is rooted in my religious beliefs, which emphasize the sanctity of marriage.

I've shared my perspective with him, explaining that I would feel more comfortable cohabiting if we were engaged first. However, he seems disappointed and doesn't fully understand my reservations. I don't want to strain our relationship, but I also want to stay true to my values. How can I navigate this situation and communicate the importance of my beliefs without causing tension? I care about him a lot, but I want to ensure that we are on the same page regarding the timing and commitment of major relationship milestones. -- Values in Question

DEAR VALUES IN QUESTION: Now is a perfect time for you two to talk about the future more specifically than you have thus far. Be open and clear about your religious views and what they mean to you. Describe how you envision your life five years from now, 10 years, and so on. Acknowledge that you know that many people choose to live together as they build their relationships, but you do not want to do that. Tell him that next steps for you include planning your life together. If he is serious about being with you, what does he want?

Rather than considering this conversation as a source of tension, suggest that it is an opportunity for you to think seriously about the future. At the three-year mark, you should have a sense of whether you want to commit to being with this person. Talk it out. Determine if you share enough values to be able to go the distance. If so, stick by your desire to be engaged before moving in. If not, move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a good friend who is getting up in age, and I have noticed that her memory isn’t very good anymore. She knows it, too, which I guess is good. I want to be able to support her when we are talking, but I’m not quite sure what to do. I don’t want to insult her by reminding her of things too often, but I feel like it could even be helpful for me to identify myself sometimes so she doesn’t have to search her brain for my name. How can I be supportive during this difficult time? -- Memory Loss

DEAR MEMORY LOSS: Since your friend knows she is suffering from memory loss, you can tell her that you want to help in any way that you can. Ask her what would help the most. Definitely identify yourself every time you call. Just say your name, something like, “Hi. It’s Harriette calling.” That way she doesn’t have to guess. Send her texts after you talk or visit with each other with reminders of things you discussed or agreed to do. Remind her of stories that you have shared, and try not to get frustrated if she doesn’t recall them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother in my early 50s, and I find myself grappling with overwhelming regret about the way I raised my children. In hindsight, I realize that I may have inadvertently spoiled them and instilled a sense of entitlement that I now see as unhealthy. My kids, now in their 20s, seem to struggle with responsibilities and have a skewed perception of the world. They expect instant gratification and often display entitled attitudes that I fear are hindering their personal growth. I can't help but blame myself for their behavior, as I was the one who raised them and set the tone for our family dynamics. Is it too late to guide my children toward a more responsible and appreciative mindset? I want to help them develop a stronger work ethic and a sense of gratitude for what they have. What steps can I take as a parent to address this regret and support my kids in becoming more responsible adults? -- Redirect Their Course

DEAR REDIRECT THEIR COURSE: Your children are young adults. Now is the time for them to put into practice the things you taught them alongside whatever they choose to do for themselves. Can you continue to guide them? Maybe. You can certainly share your thoughts on how they should proceed with their lives.

Have an honest conversation with them where you point out your regrets. Be as direct as possible, including explaining that in order to be a successful, independent person, you have to be able to take care of yourself. You can admit that you have done a lot of these basic things for them for much of their lives, but now it is time for them to do these things for themselves. If they are open to it, make a list with them of duties that are requirements for life, then step back. They will have to learn by doing. Yes, they will stumble. But they will also need to learn to pick themselves up and grow from their mistakes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am very close with a woman who has been my friend for more than 30 years. We are part of a larger friend group of people we have known for anywhere from 15 to 20 years, so we are all longtime friends. Still, I share some intimacies with my oldest friend that I do not share with anyone else. Imagine how upset I was one day to walk in on a conversation that my oldest friend was having with five of my acquaintances about my business. I couldn’t believe my ears. I confided things to her believing that she wouldn’t discuss them at all, let alone with the rest of our friends. I was both embarrassed and outraged. What can I say to my friend to express how upset I am? I feel like our friendship has been irreparably broken. -- Broken Friendship

DEAR BROKEN FRIENDSHIP: Tell her that you believe she violated your trust by breaking confidentiality about something you shared solely with her. Make it clear how hurt you are. Beyond that, stop telling her anything that you don’t want others to know. Whether intentional or not, she has proven that she cannot keep a secret.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)