DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother in my early 50s, and I find myself grappling with overwhelming regret about the way I raised my children. In hindsight, I realize that I may have inadvertently spoiled them and instilled a sense of entitlement that I now see as unhealthy. My kids, now in their 20s, seem to struggle with responsibilities and have a skewed perception of the world. They expect instant gratification and often display entitled attitudes that I fear are hindering their personal growth. I can't help but blame myself for their behavior, as I was the one who raised them and set the tone for our family dynamics. Is it too late to guide my children toward a more responsible and appreciative mindset? I want to help them develop a stronger work ethic and a sense of gratitude for what they have. What steps can I take as a parent to address this regret and support my kids in becoming more responsible adults? -- Redirect Their Course

DEAR REDIRECT THEIR COURSE: Your children are young adults. Now is the time for them to put into practice the things you taught them alongside whatever they choose to do for themselves. Can you continue to guide them? Maybe. You can certainly share your thoughts on how they should proceed with their lives.

Have an honest conversation with them where you point out your regrets. Be as direct as possible, including explaining that in order to be a successful, independent person, you have to be able to take care of yourself. You can admit that you have done a lot of these basic things for them for much of their lives, but now it is time for them to do these things for themselves. If they are open to it, make a list with them of duties that are requirements for life, then step back. They will have to learn by doing. Yes, they will stumble. But they will also need to learn to pick themselves up and grow from their mistakes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am very close with a woman who has been my friend for more than 30 years. We are part of a larger friend group of people we have known for anywhere from 15 to 20 years, so we are all longtime friends. Still, I share some intimacies with my oldest friend that I do not share with anyone else. Imagine how upset I was one day to walk in on a conversation that my oldest friend was having with five of my acquaintances about my business. I couldn’t believe my ears. I confided things to her believing that she wouldn’t discuss them at all, let alone with the rest of our friends. I was both embarrassed and outraged. What can I say to my friend to express how upset I am? I feel like our friendship has been irreparably broken. -- Broken Friendship

DEAR BROKEN FRIENDSHIP: Tell her that you believe she violated your trust by breaking confidentiality about something you shared solely with her. Make it clear how hurt you are. Beyond that, stop telling her anything that you don’t want others to know. Whether intentional or not, she has proven that she cannot keep a secret.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor and I have become close over the years, which is currently creating a bit of a situation. We have thin walls in my apartment building, and I have noticed recently that she and her husband have been screaming at each other way too often. I try to go into the other room so that I don’t have to listen to whatever they are arguing about, because I really don’t want to be all up in their business. It is just so hard not to hear them. Because of this, I know what their issues are -- at least the ones they argue about. I can see each of their sides on certain things. I worry that one day the situation could turn violent. Do you think I should say something to her about this? Should I share my opinion? -- Stop Fighting

DEAR STOP FIGHTING: You should not put yourself in the middle of your neighbors’ domestic disputes. Unless your friend specifically asks you to comment on her life, consider it absolutely none of your business. Arguments between couples often swing from one side to the other, rarely following pure logic. You do not want to get caught in the middle of whatever they are working through. Instead, be a silent supporter. You can invite your neighbor for coffee or to go for a walk. But keep the conversation light. Let her introduce what she would like to discuss.

The only caveat to this would be if you learn that the arguments have escalated to physically dangerous circumstances. If you fear that your friend’s safety is being compromised, that’s when you call the police.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I realize that I am much closer to one of my sister’s children than her other ones. It’s not that I don’t love them all, but I naturally spend more time talking to her daughter than her sons. I don’t mean to play favorites, and I don’t want the boys to feel like I don’t care about them. But I noticed when we were all together recently that she and I gravitated to each other and talked the most while I barely got a few sentences in with the boys. Should I work harder to get close to my nephews? I love them all, but I enjoy spending time with my niece. -- Don’t Play Favorites

DEAR DON’T PLAY FAVORITES: As long as you let all of your nieces and nephews know that you love them, it should be fine. It is natural for people to gravitate more to one person than another. You don’t need to feel bad about that. Just be intentional about greeting all of the young people and taking the time to talk to each of them. Choose to build a relationship with each, even if you end up spending more time with your niece. Your effort will mean a lot and will certainly be noticed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 54-year-old woman who married for the second time a year ago. I was reacquainted with my new husband after he contacted me via Facebook, saying he had always loved me and didn’t want to miss his chance again.

I recently found out he cheated on me with another woman. I am so shocked because he claims to have loved me forever, and now he turns around and hurts me like this. I thought we had a strong connection, and his words and actions seemed genuine. I feel betrayed and uncertain about the future of our relationship. I am torn between confronting him and trying to work through this or walking away from the marriage altogether. I never expected to find myself in this position.

How should I handle this heartbreaking situation? I want to make the right choice for myself, but I feel lost and hurt. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. -- Stay or Go

DEAR STAY OR GO: You owe it to yourself to confront him about his behavior. Tell him you want to have a serious conversation with him. Choose a time when both of you are sober and focused on talking to each other -- with no distractions. Then tell him of your suspicion. Be prepared to tell him how you know about this indiscretion. Do know that he may lie. That’s why having evidence can be helpful if you want to get to the truth. Hold his feet to the fire about it if you are certain. Ask him why he would choose to do such a thing. Remind him of the fact that he sought you out. He found you, courted you, expressed his undying love for you and married you. Why did he go to so much effort if he didn’t intend to be faithful to you?

Ask him what he wants. Let him know what you want and need in order to stay married to him. If that includes being monogamous, make that crystal clear, as you also point out that you didn’t think that needed to be said.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage children received money from family members for Christmas instead of stuff. I thought this was great since they are at the ages when they like to choose things for themselves. I thought it would be nice for them to tell the people who gave them the money how they spent it. Do you think that’s a good idea? I thought it would help them to be in communication with their elders beyond this once-a-year engagement. -- Saying Thank You

DEAR SAYING THANK YOU: Encouraging your teenagers to stay in touch with family members is a great idea, and this is a creative way to ignite that bonding. It could take some pushing to get them engaged, but I think it’s a great idea. It may also help them to be more thoughtful about how they spend the money -- anything from buying themselves something to putting it into a money-making financial instrument.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)