DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor and I have become close over the years, which is currently creating a bit of a situation. We have thin walls in my apartment building, and I have noticed recently that she and her husband have been screaming at each other way too often. I try to go into the other room so that I don’t have to listen to whatever they are arguing about, because I really don’t want to be all up in their business. It is just so hard not to hear them. Because of this, I know what their issues are -- at least the ones they argue about. I can see each of their sides on certain things. I worry that one day the situation could turn violent. Do you think I should say something to her about this? Should I share my opinion? -- Stop Fighting

DEAR STOP FIGHTING: You should not put yourself in the middle of your neighbors’ domestic disputes. Unless your friend specifically asks you to comment on her life, consider it absolutely none of your business. Arguments between couples often swing from one side to the other, rarely following pure logic. You do not want to get caught in the middle of whatever they are working through. Instead, be a silent supporter. You can invite your neighbor for coffee or to go for a walk. But keep the conversation light. Let her introduce what she would like to discuss.

The only caveat to this would be if you learn that the arguments have escalated to physically dangerous circumstances. If you fear that your friend’s safety is being compromised, that’s when you call the police.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I realize that I am much closer to one of my sister’s children than her other ones. It’s not that I don’t love them all, but I naturally spend more time talking to her daughter than her sons. I don’t mean to play favorites, and I don’t want the boys to feel like I don’t care about them. But I noticed when we were all together recently that she and I gravitated to each other and talked the most while I barely got a few sentences in with the boys. Should I work harder to get close to my nephews? I love them all, but I enjoy spending time with my niece. -- Don’t Play Favorites

DEAR DON’T PLAY FAVORITES: As long as you let all of your nieces and nephews know that you love them, it should be fine. It is natural for people to gravitate more to one person than another. You don’t need to feel bad about that. Just be intentional about greeting all of the young people and taking the time to talk to each of them. Choose to build a relationship with each, even if you end up spending more time with your niece. Your effort will mean a lot and will certainly be noticed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 54-year-old woman who married for the second time a year ago. I was reacquainted with my new husband after he contacted me via Facebook, saying he had always loved me and didn’t want to miss his chance again.

I recently found out he cheated on me with another woman. I am so shocked because he claims to have loved me forever, and now he turns around and hurts me like this. I thought we had a strong connection, and his words and actions seemed genuine. I feel betrayed and uncertain about the future of our relationship. I am torn between confronting him and trying to work through this or walking away from the marriage altogether. I never expected to find myself in this position.

How should I handle this heartbreaking situation? I want to make the right choice for myself, but I feel lost and hurt. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. -- Stay or Go

DEAR STAY OR GO: You owe it to yourself to confront him about his behavior. Tell him you want to have a serious conversation with him. Choose a time when both of you are sober and focused on talking to each other -- with no distractions. Then tell him of your suspicion. Be prepared to tell him how you know about this indiscretion. Do know that he may lie. That’s why having evidence can be helpful if you want to get to the truth. Hold his feet to the fire about it if you are certain. Ask him why he would choose to do such a thing. Remind him of the fact that he sought you out. He found you, courted you, expressed his undying love for you and married you. Why did he go to so much effort if he didn’t intend to be faithful to you?

Ask him what he wants. Let him know what you want and need in order to stay married to him. If that includes being monogamous, make that crystal clear, as you also point out that you didn’t think that needed to be said.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage children received money from family members for Christmas instead of stuff. I thought this was great since they are at the ages when they like to choose things for themselves. I thought it would be nice for them to tell the people who gave them the money how they spent it. Do you think that’s a good idea? I thought it would help them to be in communication with their elders beyond this once-a-year engagement. -- Saying Thank You

DEAR SAYING THANK YOU: Encouraging your teenagers to stay in touch with family members is a great idea, and this is a creative way to ignite that bonding. It could take some pushing to get them engaged, but I think it’s a great idea. It may also help them to be more thoughtful about how they spend the money -- anything from buying themselves something to putting it into a money-making financial instrument.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 21-year-old woman who made the decision not to go to college. I have found myself working as a Starbucks barista, stuck in the same town I grew up in. My friends from high school are about to graduate and secure positions at Fortune 500 companies. I find myself overwhelmed with regret after hearing of their success. I'm questioning my choices and wondering if I made a mistake by not pursuing a traditional education. I am considering applying for college now, but I’m hesitant because it feels too late. I am also considering joining the military, but I’m not sure that I’m cut out for that lifestyle. I feel stuck and uncertain about my future. How can I navigate this crossroads and make a decision that aligns with my goals and values, considering the pressure I feel from my peers' achievements? -- Time for Change

DEAR TIME FOR CHANGE: First, know that it is not too late to course correct. You made a choice for your life that is no longer satisfying you. Rather than feeling embarrassed or regretful about how your choices differ from those of your friends, focus on what you can do now. Do you have an idea of the career you would like to have? What interests you? Take some time to think about that. Now is your moment to design the next chapter of your life. This is exciting.

A career in the military is a great option in that you can go to college while serving the country. Research the different arms of the military to see how you might align your personal career goals with that option.

Similarly, look at college programs that offer coursework that matches your goals. Consider starting with community college. You can go to school while working, and it’s very affordable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend of three years recently got engaged to a man she has been on and off with for the past five years. I am not ecstatic for her because she has had a very indecisive relationship with her soon-to-be husband. She is 25, and he’s 34 with a 10-year-old son from a past relationship. She has complained about how he is a poor parent who doesn’t correct his son’s actions. This has led his son being horribly behaved in public and at home. She feels as if her fiance doesn’t have ambition when it comes to his career and is complacent with his position, even though he is relatively young and could move up a lot. Still, she said yes to him.

When my friend showed me the ring, I didn’t know how to react, but managed to say my congratulations. I want to support her, but I'm worried about her future happiness. How do I be a supportive friend while also expressing my concerns about her relationship choices? -- Bad Decision

DEAR BAD DECISION: Tell your friend you want to support her decision to get married AND you are concerned that she may not be making a decision that’s in sync with her vision for her life. Ask her what she hopes her life will look like in five, 10, 15 years. What does she want, and does she think she can have that with this man? For her own good, urge her to sit with those questions. Marriage is supposed to be a forever commitment. Is this the commitment she wants to make?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)