DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went home for a holiday break to visit my parents. I don’t really enjoy my time at home much because my mom is very controlling. She doesn’t let my sister or me drive her car to explore our hometown and what it has to offer since she is scared we will crash it. My dad is gone all the time, so we can’t use his car either. As a result, we are stuck in the house all break with nothing to do.

It's difficult because my friends are always out of town for breaks, so I can't even have them pick me up. I feel trapped every holiday. How can my sister and I approach our mom about letting us use her car or find ways to be more independent during our breaks? I want to have a more fulfilling time with my family and also be able to spend time outside of my house so I don’t feel so restricted. -- Stuck

DEAR STUCK: It is time for you to get creative and become more independent. How do people in your town get around if they are unable to drive? Is there any public transportation? While you may not currently use it, now may be the time to learn the bus system and routes. Do you have a job at school or can you get a part-time seasonal job at home? This way, you can earn money that will allow you to get a taxi or car service to take you where you want to go. With money saved, you (and your sister) could also consider traveling instead of coming home every holiday. Have any of your friends invited you to visit them during the holidays? Take them up on it, and have a new adventure. This doesn’t mean that you don’t love your mother. Instead, it says that you are taking control of your life. Rather than whining at home, you are taking action.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel torn between two cities. One is my hometown, which is a bustling city full of excitement, while the other is a quaint suburban town. I like the feelings that they each bring. I have my family in my hometown and there’s never a dull moment while I am there. In the suburbs, I’m surrounded by friends who embrace me and are always introducing me to new activities and places to go. I work remotely, so my job does not tie me to either city. I want to buy a home in the next year or so, but I am torn on where to settle. -- Settling Down

DEAR SETTLING DOWN: Let your home search guide your steps. Start working with a realtor in each area. Set parameters for budget, size, style, neighborhood and any other factors that matter to you. Take copious notes about the homes you find, and compare them. It is likely that the suburban homes will be larger and more affordable while the neighborhoods will probably be quieter and less active. Get a feel for where you would like to spend more of your time -- in the midst of the action or in a quiet, peaceful space. Since you work from home, factor in your comfort level for getting your work done in each space as well.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself in a difficult situation. I am currently enrolled in medical school, and although it has been a dream of mine for a long time, I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed and unsure if this is the right path for me. The intense workload and pressure are taking a toll on my mental and physical well-being. I'm considering the possibility of quitting, but I'm torn between pursuing my passion for medicine and acknowledging the toll it's taking on my overall health. How can I make my decision without feeling like I'm letting myself down or abandoning a dream I've worked so hard for? I want to make a thoughtful and informed choice about my future, but the fear of disappointment and societal expectations are making this decision even more challenging. -- About To Give Up

DEAR ABOUT TO GIVE UP: Seek out perspective on your situation from others who have had the experience. Find a TA, hospital resident, student about to finish med school or a trusted professor to talk to about your experience. Ask for advice on how they managed through the tough times. As hard as it seems to be, what you are describing sounds pretty common.

If you can figure out a way to take care of yourself through med school and your residency, it can be worth it. Request strategies that others have used to work through the challenging periods. Do your best to eat healthy food, exercise and carve out as much time for rest as you can. Try not to give up yet.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to register for classes for next semester. I began my search for ones that interested me a week ago and saved multiple schedules that worked for me. However, I checked again today, and most of the classes are at full capacity. I intentionally saved classes with many available seats, but since my registration date is so late, I did not get most of them. Now I am stuck between filling the blanks in my schedule with classes I have to take for my major that either do not interest me or are super early or late, and classes that I know I would enjoy and would contribute to my education as electives. I am a sophomore, so I have time to take all the classes I need, but I feel like I will lose my motivation to go to class when it is so cold outside and the subject matter bores me. What do you suggest I choose? -- Class

DEAR CLASS: Split the difference if you can, and sign up for at least one elective that interests you and one required class at a manageable hour that you will commit to attending. If you must choose a class that is extremely inconvenient, go for the time of day when you are most likely to be motivated to get yourself there. Also, you may need to question why the classes in your major do not interest you.

Reality check: Life will be like this a lot. No matter how hard we work, we often do not get exactly what we want when we want it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm eager to reorganize and declutter my living space. However, I have tried to do this in the past and have never been successful. What practical steps or approaches can I take to efficiently reorganize, purge belongings and create a more serene environment without feeling overwhelmed by the process? -- Declutter

DEAR DECLUTTER: I will first say that this is a weak area for me as well, but I am happy to share what I have been taught.

Select one room to start. Break the room down into areas to tackle -- areas small enough to manage in a short period of time. Make a list of what you intend to do, one area at a time. As you accomplish a small task, check it off. This will give you motivation to move on to the next task. Give yourself a goal -- perhaps completing five tasks each day. Congratulate yourself as you complete projects. Be sure that throwing things away or giving them to others is a big part of your regular plan. You have to eliminate things from your life to be successful at decluttering.

An expert on the topic, Marie Kondo, has written a dozen books about organization, including her first, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” that provides detailed strategies on creating a healthy relationship between yourself and things that you should let go.

Stop buying things. Once you get your space under control, it’s easiest to keep it that way if you don’t add to your environment. Resist the temptation to bring anything extra into your space. Learn to appreciate less.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The holiday season serves as a stark reminder of the physical distance between my family and me. The absence of close familial connections during this time often evokes feelings of longing and nostalgia. How can I honor the holiday spirit and create meaningful experiences despite the geographical separation, ensuring that I feel connected and emotionally fulfilled during this time? -- Lonely Times

DEAR LONELY TIMES: Being far away from family can create a heightened ache during this season when so many people travel to be with each other. The good news is that most of us use technology now to connect. Schedule video chats with your family members. If you do that already, increase the frequency during this time. Be honest and share that you are lonely and truly miss them. Offer to do fun things together over the phone, like cooking a meal or playing a game. Sometimes my sister, niece and I hop on a call and just chat about the simplest of things for hours just to be together -- and we live many hours away from each other.

Create family within your local community. Identify people who are already friends, and spend time with them. Look to see who else you might add to the fold. Open your eyes and notice the people in your environment. It is heartwarming to have loved ones nearby when you need a hug or just want to be in someone’s company in person. Cultivate those bonds, too, and your loneliness may dissipate.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)