DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for five years now, and while he is a great person, I've come to realize that he lacks ambition in his life. He is complacent with his job and doesn’t want to try and better his position. On the other hand, I am making sure that every two to four years I am either getting a promotion within my company or moving to a new company. As I plan and work toward my goals, it has become increasingly apparent that our paths and aspirations are splitting. I believe ambition and drive are essential qualities for personal growth, and I find myself craving a partner who shares similar goals and aspirations. However, the thought of breaking up with him is difficult, as he is genuinely caring and supportive. How can I approach the conversation about our differing ambitions and express my need for a partner who shares similar goals and get him to consider changing? -- Step Up

DEAR STEP UP: You cannot get your boyfriend to become like you. He is who he is. Look at him differently for a change. What is he good at? Why do you like him? How does he contribute to your well-being? Does he bring you joy?

Sometimes partners complement each other because they are different. You may find that you value a partner who will hold down the fort while you conquer the world. Does he like to cook and take care of the household finances? Is he good at supporting you in ways that you need outside of ambition or moneymaking? Think long and hard about what you really want and need, and determine if he provides those things. If so, stop being mad at him for not being you, and accept him for who he is.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am clumsy. This time I tripped and fell when walking home. I injured my leg badly and will need surgery. That’s a bummer, but my problem is that my husband writes off whatever happens to me as me being a hypochondriac. He is horrible when it comes to patient support. He doesn’t ask the right questions, blames me for getting myself into the predicament and judges under his breath the whole way. I need real support. And in a pinch, I might need a rational decisionmaker. So I have asked my sister to be my emergency contact, proxy and the first person to call if I cannot make decisions myself. Should I feel guilty for not making that person my husband? -- Be My Advocate

DEAR BE MY ADVOCATE: When it comes to your health, you must make smart decisions to support your life. If your husband is unfit or unable to handle the responsibility, do not give it to him and later wonder why he messed up. Instead, ask your sister if she is willing to be on alert like that if needed. You can list him as your second point of contact to keep him in the loop if you like.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This Christmas, I’ll be meeting my boyfriend's family. They live out of state, and it's the first time we’ll be face to face. We have been dating for nearly a year now and I really like him, so I’m looking forward to getting to know his family and see how he grew up. I want to make a great impression, but I'm a bit nervous. Do you have any advice or tips for making a positive impact and navigating this initial meeting with his family? -- Meet the Parents

DEAR MEET THE PARENTS: Learn as much as you can about your boyfriend’s parents and upbringing before you go. Find out their interests and hobbies. Ask specific questions to learn about family traditions, fashion preferences, favorite foods, extracurricular pursuits and preferred entertainment genres. Then select a gift for each of them that represents who they are. For example, if his mom reads mysteries, bring her a new mystery that has been lauded on The New York Times bestseller list. If his dad likes bourbon, buy him an unusual bottle that shows you took care to select it for him. You get the idea!

Be yourself as you share things about your life and family. Do not try to fit into their picture. At the same time, honor them by paying attention to them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In my younger years, I was fortunate to have had several mentors who provided invaluable guidance, but I didn’t always fully appreciate or follow their advice. Now that I'm older and wiser, I realize the significance of their wisdom and the importance of networking. How can I effectively reconnect with these mentors after a substantial gap, acknowledging the past while seeking to reestablish a meaningful connection for mutual growth and learning? -- Reconnection

DEAR RECONNECTION: As you prepare to reach out to these former mentors, recount in your mind what you learned from them. Be as specific as possible, and take notes on your recollections. Next, look at decisions and choices you have made in your life that reflect the wisdom you learned from them. Find examples, if possible.

With this information, contact your mentors individually. Start with a thoughtfully handwritten note that you mail to them. This will show your effort. You can also type it if your handwriting is poor. Express your gratitude for their impact on your life years ago. Provide an example or two of how you have implemented their guidance in your life. Apologize for so much time passing since you last communicated. Ask if you can schedule a time to speak or meet in the near future.

If they don’t respond right away, don’t give up. Stay in touch. You can move to email and provide updates on things that you are doing. You can also congratulate them on anything you learn about their lives through public sources. Share articles or other points of interest with them, with a note saying you thought they would enjoy the topic. Stay in touch. Eventually they should reach back to you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started talking to someone new. It was going really well for a few days, and I found him really attractive. We have similar senses of style and music, two things that are very important to me, and we were both contributing to the conversation equally.

I knew the guy on social media only until he gave me his number to continue talking more intimately. I immediately added his contact and texted him, but he never responded. Wondering whether he accidentally sent me the wrong number, I DM’ed him on social media to give him my number just in case. However, he never responded there either.

I am confused because he was the one that offered his number with no prompting from me. I also thought that we were getting along well. I do not want to seem desperate, but I want to continue talking. Should I follow up with him again to see if he wants to keep talking, or should I cut my losses while I’m ahead? -- Got Ghosted

DEAR GOT GHOSTED: It’s his turn now. Sit on your hands. Do not reach out. Instead, go out and hang with friends. It’s his move.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to be a senior in college, and I find myself in a challenging situation with my mom. Despite being in college and striving for independence, she continues to exhibit helicopter parenting tendencies. I understand that it is coming out of love, but she is constantly calling me, terrified about my well-being and telling me where I should and shouldn’t go on campus based on what she’s been seeing on the news. To be fair, there have been people walking the streets waving Nazi flags in recent weeks. And a few kids have gotten in fights with some of these people, but that is totally not me.

I appreciate the love and concern my mother has for me, but her constant involvement in my day-to-day decisions is becoming overwhelming. How can I communicate to my mom that while I value her concern, I need space to make my own decisions and go about my senior year independently? I don't want to strain our relationship, but I also need the freedom to grow and learn on my own. -- Back Off

DEAR BACK OFF: It is understandable that your mother is worrying about you, given what is going on in the world and how it is manifesting, especially on or near college campuses. No matter what your political views, it is frightening to think that things have gotten so incendiary everywhere. Please acknowledge your mother’s legitimate concerns and assure her that you are making smart choices as you live your life.

Think back on lessons she has taught you about how to carry yourself. Remind her of some of this guidance as a way of letting her know that you do keep her wisdom top of mind. Then also remind her that now is the time for you to begin making more of your own independent decisions. You need her to give you space to live your life and make mistakes. Promise to stay in touch with her so that she doesn’t need to worry. But create clear boundaries around engagement so that you carve out space to breathe.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)