DEAR HARRIETTE: I am clumsy. This time I tripped and fell when walking home. I injured my leg badly and will need surgery. That’s a bummer, but my problem is that my husband writes off whatever happens to me as me being a hypochondriac. He is horrible when it comes to patient support. He doesn’t ask the right questions, blames me for getting myself into the predicament and judges under his breath the whole way. I need real support. And in a pinch, I might need a rational decisionmaker. So I have asked my sister to be my emergency contact, proxy and the first person to call if I cannot make decisions myself. Should I feel guilty for not making that person my husband? -- Be My Advocate
DEAR BE MY ADVOCATE: When it comes to your health, you must make smart decisions to support your life. If your husband is unfit or unable to handle the responsibility, do not give it to him and later wonder why he messed up. Instead, ask your sister if she is willing to be on alert like that if needed. You can list him as your second point of contact to keep him in the loop if you like.