DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a sophomore in college, and I have two other roommates. We live together in a dorm and have had our disagreements, but we have gotten over them. They recently told me that they are going to move out together, which caught me off-guard, and I'm left feeling surprised and somewhat abandoned. It feels so weird to me that they wouldn’t tell me anything before now. I asked them why and they told me that they wanted to move to a dorm closer to their classes, but this seemed like an excuse covering up the real reason -- probably that there was an underlying issue they had with me. I guess the positive outlook is that I get a room to myself, but I don’t like knowing that I have unresolved issues with people. Do you think that I should ask them what the real reason is that they are moving out, or should I just leave the matter alone? -- Left Behind
DEAR LEFT BEHIND: Given that there is a chance that you can learn from this situation, do ask them why they made the decision and why they kept it from you. Ask them what you have done or said that made them feel so uncomfortable that they would plan this move behind your back. Offer that if you have offended or hurt them, you apologize. Agree that you know things haven’t always been great, but you thought you had worked through your differences. See if they will give you any indication of why they have made this choice. You can’t force them to tell you, but it would be helpful for your growth if they do.