DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm having a dilemma with my best friend. Lately, I’ve been embarrassed by her increasingly rude behavior toward service workers. We recently went to a restaurant, and she was unbelievably disrespectful. She ordered her food, and when it came, she kept asking where her smoothie was. They said it should be on the way, but it wasn’t because she never actually ordered it. She kept badgering the staff about it and eventually got the free smoothie she was angling for. Also, she went up to the line cook who made her burger and said that there wasn’t enough sauce on it. I didn’t hear the full exchange, but by the way he recoiled from her when he handed back her food, I could tell it wasn’t a good one. I've tried addressing it subtly, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. How do I approach this situation without damaging the friendship, yet communicate how her behavior is affecting me? -- Rude Friend

DEAR RUDE FRIEND: Who says you have to be subtle? Your friend has proven that subtlety doesn’t work for her. She needs you to be direct and illustrative. Tell her you need to talk to her about something that is bothering you. When you are together, describe how she has behaved with you out in public recently and how you feel about it. Make her understand what you observed about how her behavior impacted the service workers around her and how inappropriate you believe her actions and words were. Let her know she has been behaving in a rude and dismissive manner, and you need her to stop. If she is mad at you for a while, so be it. Friends have to stand up for what’s right -- even if the cost is temporary disconnection.

DEAR HARRIETTE: With the holiday season around the corner, I'm concerned about my sweet tooth and poor eating habits. How can I strike a balance between enjoying holiday comfort food and maintaining my healthy eating habits consistently? What strategies can help me stay on track without feeling deprived during this time? -- Sweet Tooth

DEAR SWEET TOOTH: Here’s your chance to practice discipline. Easy? No, but absolutely necessary. Make a plan before you head out each day. Decide that you will enjoy one special snack per day. With that in mind, you can map out all the places you plan to visit. Think in advance about who has the best treats. Then wait to enjoy one amazing snack when you visit that person. If you plan on purchasing sweets, buy one item. Do not purchase a tray of cookies or a whole cake. Instead, buy a slice of cake or pie, or a single cookie. It takes time to develop the ability to eat just one special treat, but if you put your mind to it, you can succeed.

Remember also to drink lots of water so that you keep your body hydrated. You can also look up recipes for healthy versions of traditional comfort foods to try.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Thanksgiving! I love this time of year for so many reasons. For many of us, the weather has changed, and there is a crispness in the air. It’s time to cozy up in warm sweaters and blankets.

Being together with loved ones is paramount for families and friends at this time of year. Indeed, this weekend has long been heralded as THE busiest travel weekend of the year. We drive, fly and take trains and buses in order to get to our loved ones. Most of the time, it is worth it.

It can also be stressful. So many of you have written to me over the years to admit that all kinds of soul-stirring, sometimes highly emotional experiences bubble forth at this time, and it can feel overwhelming. Old wounds reemerge. Insecurities flare. Loneliness masquerades as bitterness or anger. A lot is going on.

I want to invite you -- all of us -- to take a collective deep breath and look at this moment in time differently. No matter where you are or with whom, be still. Follow a practice I learned from my mom: Be grateful for where you are and what you have, no matter how small or vast that may be. Make a physical gratitude list by writing down every single thing you can think of for which you are grateful. This can include everything from being glad that you woke up this morning to that you have food to eat, friends to love, a job to pay the bills or prospects on the horizon, and so forth.

Tell yourself out loud that you are grateful for NOW. Look in the mirror and thank yourself for showing up. Give yourself a smile. Look out into your world. Whoever is there -- give that person a smile and a verbal sign of gratitude. Choose to be at peace with this moment.

Recognize that being alive and able to experience NOW counts. Make the commitment to observe and interact in the present. That means that you resist falling into old patterns of behavior. When you feel yourself reverting back to your former self, say NO inside and stop. Take a deep breath and remember where you are, who you are and what you bring to the table today.

Create boundaries around your privacy. If you do not want to talk about certain things, be prepared to say that is off-limits. When folks probe, ignore them. You can physically walk away when you find yourself boxed into a discussion that you find uncomfortable. Command agency over your life. You have the power to do that. Then, rather than allowing yourself to get exasperated or angry, express gratitude inwardly for having the courage to run your life rather than allowing anybody else to push you around. Keep reminding yourself that you can do all of this. Access peace by carving out alone time. Take a walk. Take a nap. Go for a drive. Complete a chore. Talk to a young child. Get out of your head and into the moment. Glory in that, and you will be fine!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 25-year-old woman, and I work in finance at a bank. I'm struggling to manage a relationship with a co-worker. A colleague I once considered a friend has become increasingly competitive and seems to be undermining my work. We used to collaborate effectively and share great conversations. However, things have taken a sharp turn. It may have something to do with the fact that I was just promoted from analyst to senior analyst while they stayed in the same position after our yearly reviews.

I'm unsure how to handle this change in our relationship. Confronting them might worsen the situation, but ignoring their behavior doesn't seem right either. How can I address this without jeopardizing our professional environment or our past friendship? I value the work we do and want to maintain a positive relationship, but I'm at a loss about how to navigate this situation. -- No Longer Friends

DEAR NO LONGER FRIENDS: One of the toughest transitions to navigate in a friendship is a status change. That includes one friend getting a promotion, getting married, moving or otherwise changing their role in life and, therefore, in their friendship dynamic. This is where you are.

You can speak to your friend with compassion and acknowledge the obvious: Your role at work has changed. While you are grateful, it concerns you that your relationship with them has changed, too. Note that it seems to have gone from friendly to competitive, loving to caustic. Ask your friend if there is a chance for you two to rekindle your bond. It may take time, but you both have to want it and must be willing to work on it. It may also mean you agree not to talk about work with each other.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am not the best at handling conflict, and I hold a grudge. I recently had an issue with a friend, and I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt by agreeing to talk it out. I no longer want to be friends with this girl, but we are in the same social circles, so I would like to be cordial with little awkwardness. We were at the same party this weekend, and it was friendly. She asked to speak the next day but did not follow up. Three weeks have passed since our falling-out because she keeps rescheduling our conversation. At this point, I cannot see any good coming from having a talk about not wanting to be her friend. We have not been friends for about a month, and it is going fine. Do you think that anything productive could come out of a conversation, or should I leave it alone? -- Productive Convos

DEAR PRODUCTIVE CONVOS: If you have the relationship that you now want with this person, be content with that. Cordiality can be enough. It may also naturally evolve into something else over time. There’s no need to rehash what happened now if you have no interest in or intention of getting close again. Just let it be and see how life plays out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)