DEAR HARRIETTE: Many people have advised me to start a few hobbies again to get my motivation back. A few years back, I abhorred reading, but recently, I have found a love for it. I typically read during the summertime when I do not have other obligations. When I get into a book, it is hard for me to focus on anything else or go to sleep until I finish it. This is not exactly productive when I need to do schoolwork. I do not want to stop reading, because it is a much better use of my time than getting consumed by social media or television or naps that are way too long. Still, I need to do a better job managing my time so that I do not become so entranced in my books. How do you suggest I manage my reading time in tandem with my schoolwork? -- Time Management

DEAR TIME MANAGEMENT: Reading is a much better use of your time than some alternative activities, so congratulate yourself on that. Use technology to help you out. Set a timer on your phone to alert you to the end of reading time. Give yourself an hour for reading, followed by quiet. In order to calm your mind and prepare to sleep, you need to stop any form of stimulation. Reading can be extremely engaging. It is known as a way to transport readers to new locales and experiences -- not to lull them to sleep or toward schoolwork. So limit your reading time and pivot to your duties when the alarm sounds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are still married, but observing their marriage has led me to apprehensions about my future. My father, while present in my and my sister's lives, often leaned on my mother to handle the bulk of household responsibilities and parenting duties. Not only this, but my mother has also been the breadwinner of the family throughout my parents’ entire relationship. This dynamic created strain and an imbalance in their relationship. Witnessing this has made me reluctant to consider marriage. I fear replicating the same pattern in my future relationships. I don't want to end up shouldering most of the responsibilities, as I've seen my mother do. As a woman, I'm concerned that this might limit my personal and professional growth, and I'm hesitant to commit to a relationship that might follow a similar path. How can I navigate these reservations about marriage that stem from my observations of my parents' relationship dynamics? -- Don’t Want To Repeat

DEAR DON’T WANT TO REPEAT: Consider going to therapy to unpack your family dynamics and learn how to proceed in a disentangled way. With conscious practice, you may be able to avoid some of the traps your parents fell into. You can also be conscious and intentional about how you choose a partner and what roles you agree to assume. Things may change over time, but the more you agree to do in the beginning, the better chance you have of designing a life that features what you desire the most.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a very busy couple of weeks coming up. I have my last round of midterms, Thanksgiving break, finals, moving back home, Christmas, visiting family, then New Year’s. I am looking forward to getting to see family and friends and going back home for a while, but I started thinking about how much work and travel I am going to be doing until January, and it completely stressed me out. I do not want to cut anything from my schedule, but I am worried that I am going to burn out and not do my best or have the right attitude.

When I get overwhelmed, I tend to become a recluse, and I have way too many things to do and exciting events in the future to do that. Do you have any tips on how to handle stress with a full plate? How do you manage a busy life effectively? -- Busy Stress

DEAR BUSY STRESS: First, step back and review your upcoming schedule. Can you eliminate anything? Yes, there are other people involved, but if there’s a chance you don’t have to do every single thing on your list, consider cutting something out. Build in time for rest and quiet. Plan not to stay up all night every night. Schedule evenings in when you give yourself permission to do little to nothing -- literally. Build in downtime when you will play music, meditate, drink tea or nap. Eat as well as you can so that you keep up healthy habits. Be willing to say no when you need to pause.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been taking a mental health break from many social media platforms. The content on my feed had become very superficial and a waste of time. I could not afford to be distracted by my phone as much, so I cut out a lot of time. However, I realized that in the process, I lost contact with a lot of people. Besides my closest friends from home and college, I do not text often. I used Snapchat primarily for communication, and with my reduced time on the app, the number of people I talk to cut in half. I do not know what to think of it because I am sure it may appear that I am ignoring most of these people. However, if they truly wanted to maintain contact with me, it would not be hard to find other ways to do so. Many of the people I did not even think about until I opened the app again. Do you think it is worth it to maintain superficial online friendships? -- Superficial Friends

DEAR SUPERFICIAL FRIENDS: My mother used to say that you are lucky if your true friends add up to no more than the five fingers on one hand. You do not need a bevy of social media “friends.” It’s fine if you hear from those peripheral people on occasion, but it’s also absolutely fine if you never hear from them again. Rather than working to build back that collective of social contacts, fill your time with meaningful activities -- hobbies, time spent with family and actual friends, time alone, etc.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a perfectionist, and it's causing me a lot of stress. I recently accepted a job that proved to be overwhelming to me. I thought I would be good at it, but I had to stretch a lot, and it just seemed like I was not doing anything right. I ended up quitting after one week. I felt like such a failure. My boss didn’t say that I was doing a bad job, but she kept pointing out things that I needed to work on. I just couldn't take it. Now I am unemployed and feel like even more of a loser. How can I regain my confidence when my perfectionism is probably what landed me here in the first place? -- Crippling Perfectionism

DEAR CRIPPLING PERFECTIONISM: Give yourself credit for recognizing that you may be too much of a perfectionist. In our culture, being a high achiever -- being the best -- is lauded. Know that you are not alone in your desire to do everything right and likely better than others. Know, too, that this is unhealthy and can lead to situations like you described where you feel compelled to walk away rather than face whatever situation is before you.

According to VeryWellMind.com, signs of perfectionism include: all-or-nothing thinking, being highly critical, having unrealistic standards, focusing only on unmet goals, fear of failure, procrastination, defensiveness and low self-esteem.

You can work to combat those feelings by establishing daily affirmations that speak to your talents and goodness. Give yourself a break. Showing up and doing your best are good. And good is just fine. You may want to see a therapist to help you navigate the current crisis and help you develop strategies for managing your expectations and outcomes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I have been together for a few years, and I worry a lot about things going wrong. How can I overcome my anxiety and ensure that our relationship continues to thrive? -- Worrywart

DEAR WORRYWART: Rather than focusing on what might go wrong, turn your lens on what you two can do together to fortify your relationship. What do you like about you as a couple? What makes you happy? Choose to do more of that. Talk to your partner about the future. What do you envision your life to be like in five years? Or 10? Notice what goals you share and what’s different. Talk about how you can work together toward collective goals. Design a plan, and work on that together.

Also, give each other space to work on individual goals that you may not share. Healthy relationships allow for each partner to grow as a person, even as the two of you grow as a couple. Making sure you both know that you are willing to allow for that space of personal expansion is important so that neither of you feels stifled. Being proactive today about your future can help alleviate whatever concerns you are harboring. Stop worrying, and make a plan together for your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)