DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a perfectionist, and it's causing me a lot of stress. I recently accepted a job that proved to be overwhelming to me. I thought I would be good at it, but I had to stretch a lot, and it just seemed like I was not doing anything right. I ended up quitting after one week. I felt like such a failure. My boss didn’t say that I was doing a bad job, but she kept pointing out things that I needed to work on. I just couldn't take it. Now I am unemployed and feel like even more of a loser. How can I regain my confidence when my perfectionism is probably what landed me here in the first place? -- Crippling Perfectionism

DEAR CRIPPLING PERFECTIONISM: Give yourself credit for recognizing that you may be too much of a perfectionist. In our culture, being a high achiever -- being the best -- is lauded. Know that you are not alone in your desire to do everything right and likely better than others. Know, too, that this is unhealthy and can lead to situations like you described where you feel compelled to walk away rather than face whatever situation is before you.

According to VeryWellMind.com, signs of perfectionism include: all-or-nothing thinking, being highly critical, having unrealistic standards, focusing only on unmet goals, fear of failure, procrastination, defensiveness and low self-esteem.

You can work to combat those feelings by establishing daily affirmations that speak to your talents and goodness. Give yourself a break. Showing up and doing your best are good. And good is just fine. You may want to see a therapist to help you navigate the current crisis and help you develop strategies for managing your expectations and outcomes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I have been together for a few years, and I worry a lot about things going wrong. How can I overcome my anxiety and ensure that our relationship continues to thrive? -- Worrywart

DEAR WORRYWART: Rather than focusing on what might go wrong, turn your lens on what you two can do together to fortify your relationship. What do you like about you as a couple? What makes you happy? Choose to do more of that. Talk to your partner about the future. What do you envision your life to be like in five years? Or 10? Notice what goals you share and what’s different. Talk about how you can work together toward collective goals. Design a plan, and work on that together.

Also, give each other space to work on individual goals that you may not share. Healthy relationships allow for each partner to grow as a person, even as the two of you grow as a couple. Making sure you both know that you are willing to allow for that space of personal expansion is important so that neither of you feels stifled. Being proactive today about your future can help alleviate whatever concerns you are harboring. Stop worrying, and make a plan together for your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a close friend group in high school that consisted of one group of girls and another group of guys. I maintained good relationships with everyone during my freshman year of college. Last summer, one of my friends and her boyfriend of three years broke up. Her boyfriend did not inform the guys about their relationship troubles, leading many of them to “choose his side.” As a result, the groups split, which was odd considering that our friendships were separate from my friends’ relationship.

One of the guys I was friends with has a little brother who goes to my college. We became good friends a couple of months ago. My old friend, his brother, is visiting and wants to catch up. However, we have had no contact since our friends broke up. Should I risk making it really awkward by addressing how upset it makes me that we do not speak anymore due to a situation that we had no involvement in? -- Reconnecting Friends

DEAR RECONNECTING FRIENDS: Start by just getting together with your old friend. See where the conversation goes. Rather than initially confronting him, tell him that you have missed him. See where he takes the conversation. Talk about your college experiences and what you have learned since you last spent time together. Ease into your disappointment about how your friendship broke off. If he is willing to discuss the situation, go for it. If not, decide if you can resume your friendship without unpacking the drama from the past.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got my associate's degree when I graduated from 12th grade. I got a full ride to college that also included my housing for all four years, though I only need two. Now that I am in college, I realize that I want to switch my major. I do not think that I will enjoy my job later in life -- or even the rest of my schooling -- if I stick with it. My mother did not want me to get my degree during high school, and now she is putting up a huge fight regarding me switching my major. It is not her decision if I stay in school longer, because it is my life and she is not contributing financially. Do you think that I should push back and switch despite the big rift it will create between us? How do I explain that it is not her decision without being rude? -- Family Disapproval

DEAR FAMILY DISAPPROVAL: Let’s start with how fortunate you are to have options, even if they come with family pressure. That you got your associate’s degree so young gave you the option to finish college two years early. Changing your mind about your career direction is common. Yes, that will mean you have to take more classes and extend your time in school, but it’s better to figure that out now, especially when you have a full ride to complete your education. The blessing is that she doesn’t have to pay for it.

As far as your mother goes, she wants the best for you -- even if it doesn’t feel like it. Thank her for her concern. Admit that she may have been right about your associate's degree, but you will prove to her that you are responsible. Tell her you are grateful for all of her concern, but you have to make this decision on your own.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been having issues with my motivation lately. I have low energy, and simple tasks take me way longer than they should. I get all my work done, but that typically is the full extent of what I do in a day. Due to this lack of energy, I have not been cooking or going to the grocery store as much as I should. This results in not eating enough food in a day, snacking too much or eating unhealthy options that I can have delivered to my apartment. I do not feel satisfied with the unhealthy food I eat, but ordering salads and restaurant food is extremely expensive. This leads to a cycle of not having enough energy to cook, but also not getting enough energy from the low-nutrient food I am eating. Do you have any healthy, affordable snack or meal recommendations that require low effort to prepare? -- Food Energy

DEAR FOOD ENERGY: It’s great that you recognize that your eating habits could be affecting your mood and motivation. Nutrition is critical to a healthy life.

Yes, there are affordable, nutritious foods you can eat. Instead of ordering a salad, go get a few groceries or even have groceries delivered. All of the salad ingredients that cost so much from a restaurant take seconds to mix together yourself if you buy the individual ingredients at the grocery store. According to Healthline.com, some affordable options are broccoli, russet potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, green cabbage, canned fish, chicken breast, bananas, frozen fruit and more. It may take a minute to shift your food choices. Knowing you can do it quickly and affordably should help. For a longer list of healthy food and snack options. go to healthline.com/nutrition/29-cheap-healthy-foods.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm the first in my family to go to college, and there’s a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I can't relate to my family anymore. How can I cope with this and excel in my graduate program? -- Need Support

DEAR NEED SUPPORT: Stop looking to your family for the emotional support you need. Since you are a pioneer in higher education in your family, they don’t have the tools to help you manage your academic workload and the pressure that comes with it. Establish relationships with peers and an academic counselor to help you with that. Stop expecting your family to be what they are not. Relate to them as the loving people they are. Don’t get mad at them or reject them because your life is changing. By finding a support system beyond your family, you will be able to appreciate them for who they are and not mistakenly expect more from them than they can offer. Be sure not to look down on them or speak to them disparagingly as your interests and experiences expand. Feel free to share stories with them of your life, but be mindful not to brag. Stay humble.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)