DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a close friend group in high school that consisted of one group of girls and another group of guys. I maintained good relationships with everyone during my freshman year of college. Last summer, one of my friends and her boyfriend of three years broke up. Her boyfriend did not inform the guys about their relationship troubles, leading many of them to “choose his side.” As a result, the groups split, which was odd considering that our friendships were separate from my friends’ relationship.
One of the guys I was friends with has a little brother who goes to my college. We became good friends a couple of months ago. My old friend, his brother, is visiting and wants to catch up. However, we have had no contact since our friends broke up. Should I risk making it really awkward by addressing how upset it makes me that we do not speak anymore due to a situation that we had no involvement in? -- Reconnecting Friends
DEAR RECONNECTING FRIENDS: Start by just getting together with your old friend. See where the conversation goes. Rather than initially confronting him, tell him that you have missed him. See where he takes the conversation. Talk about your college experiences and what you have learned since you last spent time together. Ease into your disappointment about how your friendship broke off. If he is willing to discuss the situation, go for it. If not, decide if you can resume your friendship without unpacking the drama from the past.