DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently married my wife, and her teenage son does not seem to like me at all. I believe it is because of the major changes my presence has brought into his life. His dad passed away a few years ago, and I know my arrival has disrupted the dynamics he had with his mom. I've tried to connect and bond with him, attempting to show support and care, but it seems he's resistant and distant. He often spends time alone in his room and is reluctant to engage in family activities. My heart aches to see the strained relationship between us. How can I build a better relationship with my stepson despite his initial resistance to form a stronger family bond? I want to ensure that he feels supported and loved, but I'm not sure how to break through the barriers he's set up. -- Establishing a Connection

DEAR ESTABLISHING A CONNECTION: Patience is going to be your friend. It may take a lot of time to build a meaningful rapport with your stepson. His being a teenager doesn’t make it easier, as he is wrestling with hormonal changes that may affect his mood, on top of grief over his father’s death and fear over your presence.

Figure out what he likes to do for fun, and invite him to do some of those things with you. Keep asking even if he normally says no. Attempt to do things with him alone as well as with both him and your wife. Establish family routines that include the three of you that can create normalcy. Tell him stories about your life, and gently ask him to share stories about his. Let him know that you want to be there for him when he needs a sounding board or guidance. Don’t give up. Know that it may take years for you to build a healthy bond. If you are committed to your wife, remain committed to her son.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I have been arguing more lately. I’m not exactly sure why this is happening, but it’s uncomfortable. What's the best way to resolve conflicts and maintain a healthy relationship when things get tough? -- Looking for Strategies

DEAR LOOKING FOR STRATEGIES: Do a bit of reflection. When did the arguing begin? Try to pinpoint what precipitated it. Was there a change in either of your jobs, finances, friendships, health? What is different? If you can identify the source of the change, you can talk about it. Establish a weekly meeting between you where you check in about what’s going on in your lives. This can include household duties, your calendar and your finances. If you agree to meet at the same time each week, this can become routine and won’t feel as awkward when you need to discuss sensitive topics.

Address the obvious: You are experiencing conflict. Ask each other why it’s happening, and talk about what you can do to work through it. Actively work at being kind to each other instead of lashing out due to tension. Choose to see goodness in your partner -- especially when times are tough. This is much easier to say than do, but it helps a lot.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 50-year-old American resident, and my parents, who are around 80, live in Ethiopia. My two siblings and I have all been out of the country since our college days, and I am starting to realize how sad it is that I haven’t been able to see my parents face to face very much since I was 18. We are beginning to understand the significance of our physical absence and the impact it has had on our parents' emotional and physical health. We enjoy our regular phone calls and occasional video chats, but we recognize the limitations of these interactions in truly understanding their needs and providing the support and care they may require. How can we provide them with the support, care and presence they need during this crucial stage of their lives and maintain a strong relationship to avoid regrets once they pass on? -- Disconnected

DEAR DISCONNECTED: Often in families with multiple children, one adult child takes on the responsibility of looking out for the elders, particularly parents. This is common worldwide. While you and your siblings are thousands of miles away from your parents, nobody has taken on that role. You should talk together and figure out a way forward that allows for someone to spend physical time with your parents. Perhaps you can rotate among the three of you and have each one arrange an elongated stay in Ethiopia with them. If you could spend several months with them and divide that up over the year, your parents would have in-person care from family members. Yes, this may require a dramatic lifestyle change, but it sounds like they need that support now.

You can also arrange for local people to become caregivers for them, but that is not the same as your personal engagement with your parents. Do your best to be present as much as possible.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a hectic schedule, and it's a constant struggle to stay organized and tidy. When I get home from work, I’m usually exhausted, and the last thing I want to do is clean. Instead, I usually plop on the couch, get a glass of wine and binge watch TV. Once the TV is on, I get drawn in, and I can’t seem to peel away to do housework. How can I manage my time effectively and keep my life in order when it's so busy? -- Seeking Balance and Order

DEAR SEEKING BALANCE AND ORDER: Write out a to-do list every day. On it include work responsibilities, home chores and personal tasks. List each thing individually so that you can easily check off tasks when completed. Be specific with what you have to do. For example, don’t write, “clean up,” as that doesn’t direct your steps. Instead, write, “wash the dishes,” “do the laundry,” “clean up the mud room,” etc. Whatever has to be completed, list that and don’t turn on the TV until you have checked everything off.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going into my senior year of college next year, and I’m getting scared to become an adult, especially in such an economically trying time. A lot of my friends come from wealth and will have their parents to fall back on when they graduate. They may get an allowance or have their rent paid by their parents, so they don’t have to worry about struggling. I, on the other hand, do not have that luxury and have to work extremely hard to find a job and support myself financially, which is a scary thought.

I realize the importance of being financially independent, but I'm feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of facing this responsibility alone. Given the economic challenges, how can I prepare myself for the transition to financial independence after graduation and ensure I can support myself and succeed in this uncertain landscape? -- Afraid of the Future

DEAR AFRAID OF THE FUTURE: Start looking for a job now. If you haven’t had internships or other jobs during your college years, see if you can find something while you are still in school. Job experience counts a lot as you plan to start your professional life. Talk to the career counseling center at your school and ask them for job referrals. Most colleges have designated people ready to help set you up for success. Be extremely proactive. Go to networking events in your area of interest. Speak to people, and talk about yourself and your dreams. Instead of walking in fear, walk in the confidence that you are ready to step into your adult life and make your way. Sure, it’s a bit scary, but it is also exciting. This is your time!

DEAR HARRIETTE: As fall sets in and winter approaches, I struggle with seasonal depression. I often end up staying in my apartment every second that I don’t have a responsibility. I don’t reach out to friends much. I become a recluse. What are some strategies to combat these feelings and stay emotionally healthy during the colder months? -- In Hibernation

DEAR IN HIBERNATION: You are not alone. There is a condition known as seasonal affective disorder that manifests in a number of symptoms that mirror depression. According to the National Institutes of Health, you may have this if you are experiencing the following: feeling depressed most of the day, nearly every day; losing interest in activities you once enjoyed; experiencing changes in appetite or weight; having problems with sleep; feeling sluggish or agitated; having low energy; feeling hopeless or worthless; having difficulty concentrating; or having frequent thoughts of death or suicide.

This condition must be diagnosed by a professional. The good news is that there are treatments that can help, including light therapy, psychotherapy, antidepressant medications and, believe it or not, vitamin D.

Whether you are diagnosed with SAD or something else, if you are feeling unwell, don’t suffer alone. Get help from a professional. If you ever are feeling suicidal, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline toll-free at 988. You can reach the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)