DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a new parent of a 2-month-old. My husband and I don’t have anyone in our state (Oregon) we are close with because we moved here a year ago for my husband's job. It’s been hard because all of our family is back in Ohio, where we are originally from. We have no support system, and my husband has gone back to work, so it’s just been me taking care of our son during the day.

When my husband gets home, he barely helps me with the baby; instead, he sits on the couch and claims he is too tired because he works all day. I feel like I am a single mother at this point. He never gets up during the night for the baby because he says he needs his sleep to go into work with a sound mind. I want to say I understand where he is coming from, but I can’t because we mutually decided that we wanted a child together and should, therefore, both be taking care of our son. What should I do to get my husband to engage with our son more? -- I Need Help

DEAR I NEED HELP: You have to talk to your husband. Get his attention calmly. Sit down together and lay things out so he can understand. Having a newborn is extremely time-consuming, emotional and exhausting. It is more than a full-time job. Yes, he does have a full-time job that tires him out, and you appreciate his efforts, but you absolutely need him to pitch in with your son. You never get to turn off and relax. You need him to share in the responsibilities of caring for your son, including getting up at night when he’s crying. Make a schedule if that will help him. Don’t give up until you convince him that you need him to be a partner in caring for the child you both brought into this world.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I enjoy being an introvert. Being able to spend time alone with a good book on a Saturday night is my favorite thing about the weekend. I do have a dog and I enjoy walking him in the park every day, but mainly I am a homebody. The problem is that I am single, and it is hard to meet men because I am not one to go out. How can I start to be open and become more comfortable stepping out of my comfort zone to meet men? -- Comfortable Life

DEAR COMFORTABLE LIFE: Start with your dog. When you go for a walk, notice who else is out there. Speak to fellow dog walkers, especially any interesting men. Put yourself out there to meet the people you encounter. Go a step further and enroll in a class or activity that you find fun that involves interacting with other people. If you put yourself in an environment that is designed for social engagement, you don’t have to work as hard to meet people. You will have to look up and speak to others. Get yourself there, and try it out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 22, and I am dating a 30-year-old man who is a residence life coordinator at a dormitory for a large Midwestern university. A part of his benefits is that he has an apartment attached to the dorm, so if the residence assistants need him, he is there. This apartment does not have any rent attached to it.

I was about to move in with him when he told me that I needed to pay $1,000 a month to him as “rent.” I was shocked when he told me this. I have full knowledge of the fact that he doesn’t pay rent and that he is just planning on taking $1,000 from me every month. This has made me rethink not only moving in with him, but dating him in general. What do you think I should do? I thought that he was going to be the one, but unfortunately, this event has shaken my confidence in him. -- Not a Good Fit

DEAR NOT A GOOD FIT: If there ever was a red flag, this is it. You could simply walk away, but if you are curious, ask him why he thinks it’s a good idea to charge you for rent when he is paying none. Perhaps he has bills he needs to pay. Maybe that extra grand will help pay for something essential in his life. If that’s the case, he should state it up front. But that kind of need is best worked out through a transactional relationship -- a roommate with no benefits. Since you two are in a relationship, one would presume that you wouldn’t be expected to fund his dreams. Find out why he thinks it’s a good idea to charge you. Hear him out, but if I were you, I would move somewhere else. Oh, and be sure to take your heart with you!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance and I moved in together at the beginning of October, and he is terrible at cleaning up after himself. I have OCD, which he is very aware of, yet he still doesn’t see the importance of putting away the dishes or picking up after himself. He does take out the trash and the dogs, but other than that, I am constantly cleaning up behind him. While dating, I never knew it was this bad. How can I tell him that he needs to be more intentional about keeping a clean house without sounding like a parent? -- Clean Home

DEAR CLEAN HOME: Perhaps you can allocate an area of your home that can be his to treat however he likes: his man cave, so to speak. In that space, he can throw his socks around and be as untidy as he wants. You don’t have to ever go in there. That is his space. Outside of that, ask him to follow some basic home hygiene rules. Make a list of what you want him to do to keep tidy. Invite him to work at establishing a routine that will help him to honor his agreement. Know that he won’t always be successful, but if and when he tries, thank him. This will reinforce the good habit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been looking for inspiration because I feel a bit lost right now. I realize that my role models from before have not been good examples for me, and I ended up modeling behavior that was not beneficial. I have been looking for new sources of inspiration on social media and in newspapers, but those have been unsuccessful and disheartening. I do not know where to look anymore, nor do my friends have suggestions for me or role models of their own. Where do you find your inspiration? Is it in people, ideas or rituals? Who inspires you the most, and what values do they hold? -- Inspirations

DEAR INSPIRATIONS: I find inspiration in stillness and reconnecting to spirit. I have been practicing meditation for many years. Establishing a meditation practice can be extremely beneficial, and it doesn’t have to be a huge investment of time. Consider getting up 30 minutes earlier each day, sitting quietly, possibly with soothing music playing. Then just breathe deeply for three cleansing breaths. As you breathe in, invite light and love into your being. As you breathe out, exhale any discomfort that may be lodged in your body or your spirit. Continue to breathe gently. Hold an affirming thought in your mind. You can focus on welcoming light into your life with each breath. You can repeat an affirmation that speaks to the goodness within you: I am content. I am peaceful. I love life. Try that.

I will add that looking to social media for role models is a dangerous way of attempting to fill your cup. There is so much grandstanding out there, and, as you experienced, role models can be fake. Other sources of inspiration can be nature, a family member or friend who is living a life you admire, an author whose work you read or a professor at school or someone further ahead of you in your career who may be able to serve as a mentor.

After anchoring yourself to your heart, look around for extracurricular activities that may pique your interest and lead you to new friendships.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in the same relationship since I was 16; I am now 22, and I realize that I no longer want to be in it. My boyfriend is an amazing man and we get along great and have talked about marriage, but he has been my only boyfriend, and I want to take some time to figure out who I am becoming and what interests me. I feel that in this relationship, everything is about us together. Please help! -- 6-Year Relationship

DEAR 6-YEAR RELATIONSHIP: Rather than breaking up, why not talk about what’s going on with you? Your boyfriend may be having similar feelings of loving you but wanting some freedom. Talk it out and see if there’s a way for you both to enjoy some space from each other without closing the door. Couples design all kinds of ways of living their lives. If you think there’s a chance for the two of you to have longevity even as you want a break, talk about that and see if you can come to an agreement on how to move forward.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)