DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a relatively new relationship with a really nice guy. Everything was going well up until about two weeks ago when he randomly asked me for money. He claimed that he needed it urgently. It was a small amount, so I gave it to him, making him promise that it would be a one-time thing. Unfortunately, he's asked me again since then. I’m confused because he showed no sign of having money problems when we first started seeing each other. Could he have been hiding his financial struggles from me all along? How do I handle this? -- I’m Not a Bank

DEAR HARRIETTE: A dear friend of mine recently got me a job at the company she works for. She’s one of the head supervisors. Since I started at the company, I have noticed that my other colleagues haven’t warmed up to me. I am worried that because I am obviously close friends with a supervisor, the other employees don’t feel comfortable around me. It has been challenging to find my place within the team, and it seems like my co-workers are avoiding me. I don’t want to be an outcast at work. How do I make friends with my co-workers? -- Left Out

DEAR LEFT OUT: You probably should cool your relationship with your supervisor friend at work. Agree to stop interacting with her all the time. Create space to get to know the rest of the team. Then work on building rapport with them. Identify one or two people you like, and pay attention to them. Invite them for coffee or drinks after work. Set an intention to get to know them. Give it time. Building relationships takes effort and commitment. It can’t seem performative on your part. You have to demonstrate that you truly want to know these people. You also cannot go back to your friend and share what you learn about them. Then you would be labeled a snitch, which would make your whole plan backfire.

Your friend got you into the company. It is up to you to craft how you will grow there. That requires building relationships with other people on the team.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have three friends who have suffered strokes in the past year. It has been devastating to see them struggle to heal. At first this got me motivated to take better care of myself, including eating smarter and becoming more active. Then I sort of slipped back into my old ways of being -- working all the time, not always watching my calorie intake ... same old, same old. I know better, but I also realize it is hard to change my behavior. What can I do to help get myself on a healthier track? I do not want to end up dealing with a health crisis that I have the ability to avert by acting now. How can I jump-start my fitness? -- Unmotivated

DEAR UNMOTIVATED: Start with a medical checkup. Determine everything you can about your health status. Find out what you need to work on to become a healthier you. Write down everything your doctor recommends. You already know that includes regular physical exercise. Make a plan for what you will eat and how you will move. If possible, enlist the support of an accountability partner -- someone you trust who will cheer for you and possibly go with you to work out. Write down your tasks for each day -- those that are for your health and those for the rest of your life. Check them off your list as you complete them. Stay in close touch with your friends who are recovering as well. Learning more about their plight may remind you to stay the course.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I complain too much about my marriage, and I realize now that my friends are tired of hearing about it. At first, I told virtually no one, but over time, I have needed to confide in others to help myself process what I’m dealing with. The problem is that I haven’t left my husband even though my issues haven’t changed over quite a few years. One of my friends asked me the other day if I had decided to stay in my marriage. I responded that I hadn’t decided anything. I just haven’t done anything yet. She gave me a quizzical look, but it got me thinking. I don’t know what to do. I’m not happy with the status quo. I’m not sure that I can afford to live by myself. I haven’t convinced my husband to go to therapy yet. We are at a standstill. I need help taking some kind of action, and I realize that my friends can’t help me get there. -- SOS

DEAR SOS: A professional therapist should have the tools to help you talk through your situation and come to terms with what is going on in your life. You are correct in believing that your friends are not equipped to advise you on this. You need to figure out what you want for your life, what resources you need to fulfill your desires and how to acquire those if you don’t already have them. That includes gaining the tools to communicate with your husband more effectively. Engage a professional and make a timeline for addressing your concerns.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently I’ve noticed a lot of people are giving themselves shots to lose weight. Several of my colleagues have gone on these extreme diets (or so they appear to me) and dropped as much as 75 pounds in a few months. I need to lose weight, but it is coming off very slowly. I’m wondering if I should try one of these plans. I’m worried, though, as I have high blood pressure, diabetes and other ailments. I don’t know if a shot that makes you lose weight fast might interact with my other medications and cause problems, but I don’t want to miss out on a way to jump-start my weight loss. Am I being too cautious? Should I try one of these methods? I think one of them was originally meant for people with diabetes. -- Need To Lose Weight

DEAR NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT: Before trying any type of weight-loss plan, you must see your doctor. Talk to them about your concerns and ask about the popular methods to see if any of them are safe for you. You are smart to be concerned about what might interact with your current medications. Your doctor should be able to help you assess that.

While this may not sound as sexy as one of the current trends, working with a nutritionist is one way to go to inspire weight loss. A nutritionist will help you determine the best foods and portion sizes for your body. It will likely take longer to reach your result with a modified diet, but if you keep it up, you can create a lifestyle change for yourself that will ultimately get you to your goal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I go to the town where I went to high school, I look up my old friends. I make the effort to see the ones I was closest to, usually making a call or sending a text weeks before I arrive. Recently, I have noticed that one of my friends hardly ever responds. When he does, it’s always vague and noncommittal. I don’t understand what’s going on. We were so close back in the day, and to my knowledge nothing bad has happened between us. He did get married some years ago. I wonder if his wife is blocking him from seeing me. I am not trying to take her man. I would be happy to see her, too. How can I address this? -- Old Friends

DEAR OLD FRIENDS: Next time you reach out to this friend, ask him if he and his wife can join you for drinks or dinner the next time you are in town. Explicitly include her so that your intention is clear. Yes, she may be the blocker. It is possible that he has hidden feelings for you that she senses even if he is suppressing them.

Instead of second-guessing the situation, see if this open invitation works. Then feel them out if you get together to learn if there’s room for you to be friends with them both.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)