DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who constantly borrows money from me and our other friends, but she always tries not to pay it back. It’s very sneaky and calculated. I brought it up to my group of friends, and they brushed it off and made excuses for her, making me look like a jerk.

She recently owed my friend $200 for a trip we took to Chicago, and she tried to get away without paying her back. I don’t think that it was unintentional because it’s hard to forget that type of money as a college student. She also tried to avoid paying me back $50 for her groceries recently.

I realized she never has money for the important things because she spends all the money she has on things like clothes and restaurants. Next time she asks for money, I’m tempted to say no, but I don’t want to risk my friends thinking that I’m trying to be hurtful toward her. What should I do? -- No More Free Money

DEAR NO MORE FREE MONEY: Stop worrying about what your friends think. There is no rule that says you have to finance your friend’s life. It’s one thing to help someone out every now and then, and it’s quite another to become their primary source of income. Just say no the next time she asks you for money. You can say you don’t have it, or a simple no will suffice. If she pushes you and wants to know why, tell her the truth -- she never pays you back, and you can no longer be her bank.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been married for three years to a wonderful person I adore. However, we've been having a recurring issue that's causing tension in our relationship. It's my in-laws. They are nice people, but they often overstep boundaries and make me feel uncomfortable.

Last week, my mother-in-law walked into our house. I was taken aback because all the doors were locked; however, there she was in our kitchen with some cookies she had baked. I appreciated the baked goods, but I was confused as to how she got in because my husband was sitting next to me the entire time. I asked how she got into our house, and she said that my husband had given her a spare key. I do not feel comfortable with this, even if it’s to do good deeds. How can I navigate this delicate situation without harming my relationship with my spouse? -- No Boundaries

DEAR NO BOUNDARIES: You and your husband have to establish ground rules for how you engage with your families. Ask your husband why he gave his mother a key to your house and why he didn’t tell you. Explain to him that you love his mother, but you were taken aback to see her in your kitchen without warning. This is awkward, but the two of you need to establish boundaries for how others, including his mother, enter your home. You may broach it by asking her to please use the key in case of emergency only. Otherwise, you would like to know in advance that she’s coming and when she arrives. Ringing the bell will solve that problem.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a junior in college, and I’m struggling with feelings of jealousy toward my friend. It seems like everything comes so easily to her, and it's hard for me not to compare our paths.

Recently, my friend received a $10,000 scholarship for a study abroad program in Japan and landed an internship at one of the top investment banking firms in the United States. She applied to only one internship and only one scholarship, and things fell into place effortlessly. It’s as if a fairy comes in every night while she’s sleeping and throws magic pixie dust at her to make everything work out. Meanwhile, I feel like I have to fight tooth and nail just to make half as much progress. Every day is a continuous struggle to accomplish the goals that I have. I try hard to be positive, but obstacles pop up constantly. How can I deal with these feelings of envy and move forward with a more upbeat outlook on life? -- Jealous

DEAR JEALOUS: It is understandable that you would be envious of your friend for what appears to be an easy life. As you also know, it is toxic to dwell on what other people have. No good will come out of that longing. Instead, you must focus on yourself. Do your best to view your life as your perfect challenge. You are gaining resilience as you live through each experience. Claim your small victories.

To keep on track, create a vision board. Look through magazines and newspapers for images that reflect the things you want for your life. Cut them out. Brainstorm words and ideas that represent your dreams. Write them down. Next, on a large piece of cardboard or paper, place the images and words together. Make a simple art piece out of this collection of ideas to create your vision board. Write affirmations reminding yourself that you can and will accomplish your dreams. When thoughts creep in about your friend’s success -- or anyone else’s -- wish them well and pivot back to planning your own life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Ever since she got married in April, my mother has become more vocal and assertive. Unfortunately, this has led to a conflict between her and my wife, as my mother has certain expectations of her. She strongly believes in traditional wifely duties and expects my wife to fulfill them. This puts me in a difficult position because I love and respect both my wife and my mother. How can I make them both happy? -- Overbearing Mom

DEAR OVERBEARING MOM: Sit down with your mom and tell her you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Congratulate her on her new marriage. Emphasize how happy you are for her new bond of love. Then point out that everyone does marriage differently. Her marriage is not the same as yours. Tell her you need her to stop trying to run your life by giving your wife her advice about how to be married to you. Gently but clearly let her know that your marriage is off limits. When she continues to offer it, she is upsetting your household. Point out that you know she has certain beliefs about roles and responsibilities in a marriage. Invite her to follow those in her own relationship, but ask her firmly to stop trying to enforce them in yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 50-year-old woman who recently divorced her husband. We had been married for 20 years and mutually decided to end the relationship because we didn’t feel any genuine love between us anymore. I now find myself co-parenting our three teenage daughters with my ex. I'm feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities and changes in my life. Balancing work, parenting and self-care has become a daunting challenge. I also find myself feeling lonely when my children are away at their dad’s house, and I’m wondering if I made the right choice. Can you provide some advice on how to navigate this new chapter to ensure a healthy and happy environment -- not only for my daughters, but for me as well? -- What’s Next?

DEAR WHAT’S NEXT?: You have to give yourself time to adjust to your new life. Transitioning from a 20-year way of living to something new takes time and patience. You need to establish new routines, especially during your alone time. What do you enjoy doing solo? Reading? Taking walks? Going to the gym? Try things out to see what interests you.

You also have to put yourself out there. Cultivate interests that take you out of your comfort zone and put you in the company of others. Look to see what cultural activities are happening in your neighborhood. Get up and go to something. Your joy is important for your daughters’ well-being, as they can sense your state of mind. If you need more support, go to a therapist who can help you sort through this period of transition.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance and I were supposed to get married at the top of next year, but that was before he decided to pursue his master’s degree in legal studies. Now, all of his time and energy are going to his education, and our wedding has to be put on the back burner until he finishes. I know his degree is important, and I’m really proud of him, but I can’t help but be disappointed. I even suggested a small courthouse ceremony, but he refused because he said he wanted a large ceremony. Is it wrong for me to be upset? I know it sounds silly, but I can’t help feeling that maybe he doesn’t really want to marry me, and his master’s degree is a convenient excuse to put off our wedding. -- Overthinking

DEAR OVERTHINKING: The fact that your fiance changed the rules without consulting you is concerning. Yes, it’s great that he is getting his master’s degree, but as you plan a life together, it is critical for you to plan out the big steps together. That may be what’s bothering you the most. Tell him you want to sit down with him and plot out the next few years. Admit that it has upset you that he made such a big decision without talking to you, and you are concerned about how the two of you will work together to make decisions for your life. Get him to agree to map out a strategy together. Otherwise, there’s a good chance he will continue to make big decisions independently, and that will not work.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)