DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a junior in college, and I’m struggling with feelings of jealousy toward my friend. It seems like everything comes so easily to her, and it's hard for me not to compare our paths.

Recently, my friend received a $10,000 scholarship for a study abroad program in Japan and landed an internship at one of the top investment banking firms in the United States. She applied to only one internship and only one scholarship, and things fell into place effortlessly. It’s as if a fairy comes in every night while she’s sleeping and throws magic pixie dust at her to make everything work out. Meanwhile, I feel like I have to fight tooth and nail just to make half as much progress. Every day is a continuous struggle to accomplish the goals that I have. I try hard to be positive, but obstacles pop up constantly. How can I deal with these feelings of envy and move forward with a more upbeat outlook on life? -- Jealous

DEAR JEALOUS: It is understandable that you would be envious of your friend for what appears to be an easy life. As you also know, it is toxic to dwell on what other people have. No good will come out of that longing. Instead, you must focus on yourself. Do your best to view your life as your perfect challenge. You are gaining resilience as you live through each experience. Claim your small victories.

To keep on track, create a vision board. Look through magazines and newspapers for images that reflect the things you want for your life. Cut them out. Brainstorm words and ideas that represent your dreams. Write them down. Next, on a large piece of cardboard or paper, place the images and words together. Make a simple art piece out of this collection of ideas to create your vision board. Write affirmations reminding yourself that you can and will accomplish your dreams. When thoughts creep in about your friend’s success -- or anyone else’s -- wish them well and pivot back to planning your own life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Ever since she got married in April, my mother has become more vocal and assertive. Unfortunately, this has led to a conflict between her and my wife, as my mother has certain expectations of her. She strongly believes in traditional wifely duties and expects my wife to fulfill them. This puts me in a difficult position because I love and respect both my wife and my mother. How can I make them both happy? -- Overbearing Mom

DEAR OVERBEARING MOM: Sit down with your mom and tell her you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Congratulate her on her new marriage. Emphasize how happy you are for her new bond of love. Then point out that everyone does marriage differently. Her marriage is not the same as yours. Tell her you need her to stop trying to run your life by giving your wife her advice about how to be married to you. Gently but clearly let her know that your marriage is off limits. When she continues to offer it, she is upsetting your household. Point out that you know she has certain beliefs about roles and responsibilities in a marriage. Invite her to follow those in her own relationship, but ask her firmly to stop trying to enforce them in yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 50-year-old woman who recently divorced her husband. We had been married for 20 years and mutually decided to end the relationship because we didn’t feel any genuine love between us anymore. I now find myself co-parenting our three teenage daughters with my ex. I'm feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities and changes in my life. Balancing work, parenting and self-care has become a daunting challenge. I also find myself feeling lonely when my children are away at their dad’s house, and I’m wondering if I made the right choice. Can you provide some advice on how to navigate this new chapter to ensure a healthy and happy environment -- not only for my daughters, but for me as well? -- What’s Next?

DEAR WHAT’S NEXT?: You have to give yourself time to adjust to your new life. Transitioning from a 20-year way of living to something new takes time and patience. You need to establish new routines, especially during your alone time. What do you enjoy doing solo? Reading? Taking walks? Going to the gym? Try things out to see what interests you.

You also have to put yourself out there. Cultivate interests that take you out of your comfort zone and put you in the company of others. Look to see what cultural activities are happening in your neighborhood. Get up and go to something. Your joy is important for your daughters’ well-being, as they can sense your state of mind. If you need more support, go to a therapist who can help you sort through this period of transition.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance and I were supposed to get married at the top of next year, but that was before he decided to pursue his master’s degree in legal studies. Now, all of his time and energy are going to his education, and our wedding has to be put on the back burner until he finishes. I know his degree is important, and I’m really proud of him, but I can’t help but be disappointed. I even suggested a small courthouse ceremony, but he refused because he said he wanted a large ceremony. Is it wrong for me to be upset? I know it sounds silly, but I can’t help feeling that maybe he doesn’t really want to marry me, and his master’s degree is a convenient excuse to put off our wedding. -- Overthinking

DEAR OVERTHINKING: The fact that your fiance changed the rules without consulting you is concerning. Yes, it’s great that he is getting his master’s degree, but as you plan a life together, it is critical for you to plan out the big steps together. That may be what’s bothering you the most. Tell him you want to sit down with him and plot out the next few years. Admit that it has upset you that he made such a big decision without talking to you, and you are concerned about how the two of you will work together to make decisions for your life. Get him to agree to map out a strategy together. Otherwise, there’s a good chance he will continue to make big decisions independently, and that will not work.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 23-year-old who just moved to San Francisco. My dad recently came to visit me, and I was excited because I hadn’t seen him in six months. My excitement was dampened once he got here and had nothing positive to say, just complaints the entire time. He hated my apartment, thought it was too exhausting to walk up the hills in the city and didn’t like how expensive the city was. I was really frustrated because I've been loving my life here. I found a small apartment that’s in a great location and have been really good at budgeting. Despite his complaints, I decided to try and keep a positive attitude and continue to tour him around the city. I don't want our relationship to be strained, and I want him to see that I'm doing well here. How can I address my dad's negativity and help him see the positive side of my new life in San Francisco? -- Crack a Smile

DEAR CRACK A SMILE: Choose the positive. Thank your Dad for coming to visit you and spending time together. Tell him how much you appreciate his effort. Then move on to recapping what you like about your life as you are establishing independence as a young adult. You can leave it at that, or, if you feel so inclined, you can remind him that you are budgeting well in an expensive city. You are enjoying the beauty that the city has to offer, meeting new people and building your life.

Your father does not have to love your city, your home or anything else about your life. Just know that his complaints probably are based on his love for you and his knee-jerk reaction to protect you. He may only see that he would find it hard to live there. You can see the potential.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a few friends who have birthdays coming up in the next few months, and I realize that I don’t remember the exact dates of their birthdays. I’m sure I wrote it down at some point, but I used to have all those dates in my head. I have not been as closely connected to these people in recent years, and I guess not having them top of mind hasn’t helped my memory. Anyway, I want to celebrate their special days, but I don’t know when they are. Would it be all right for me to send a card or text to each one saying that I know their big day is coming up and I hope they are well? Should I admit that I can’t remember what their exact birth date is? What should I do? -- Want To Celebrate

DEAR WANT TO CELEBRATE; Think about the friends in question. If any are particularly sensitive and might take offense that you forgot the date, just make the general overture. You can say, “I’m celebrating with you all month. Enjoy!” For those who may have no issue with reminding you, tell the truth. You know their big day is coming, but you can’t remember the date. Honestly, if someone gets upset with you because you are attempting to celebrate them, that is their problem anyway.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)