DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 23-year-old who just moved to San Francisco. My dad recently came to visit me, and I was excited because I hadn’t seen him in six months. My excitement was dampened once he got here and had nothing positive to say, just complaints the entire time. He hated my apartment, thought it was too exhausting to walk up the hills in the city and didn’t like how expensive the city was. I was really frustrated because I've been loving my life here. I found a small apartment that’s in a great location and have been really good at budgeting. Despite his complaints, I decided to try and keep a positive attitude and continue to tour him around the city. I don't want our relationship to be strained, and I want him to see that I'm doing well here. How can I address my dad's negativity and help him see the positive side of my new life in San Francisco? -- Crack a Smile

DEAR CRACK A SMILE: Choose the positive. Thank your Dad for coming to visit you and spending time together. Tell him how much you appreciate his effort. Then move on to recapping what you like about your life as you are establishing independence as a young adult. You can leave it at that, or, if you feel so inclined, you can remind him that you are budgeting well in an expensive city. You are enjoying the beauty that the city has to offer, meeting new people and building your life.

Your father does not have to love your city, your home or anything else about your life. Just know that his complaints probably are based on his love for you and his knee-jerk reaction to protect you. He may only see that he would find it hard to live there. You can see the potential.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a few friends who have birthdays coming up in the next few months, and I realize that I don’t remember the exact dates of their birthdays. I’m sure I wrote it down at some point, but I used to have all those dates in my head. I have not been as closely connected to these people in recent years, and I guess not having them top of mind hasn’t helped my memory. Anyway, I want to celebrate their special days, but I don’t know when they are. Would it be all right for me to send a card or text to each one saying that I know their big day is coming up and I hope they are well? Should I admit that I can’t remember what their exact birth date is? What should I do? -- Want To Celebrate

DEAR WANT TO CELEBRATE; Think about the friends in question. If any are particularly sensitive and might take offense that you forgot the date, just make the general overture. You can say, “I’m celebrating with you all month. Enjoy!” For those who may have no issue with reminding you, tell the truth. You know their big day is coming, but you can’t remember the date. Honestly, if someone gets upset with you because you are attempting to celebrate them, that is their problem anyway.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 17-year-old high school student. I have been struggling with mental health issues for some time now. Unfortunately, my parents do not seem to believe that I am struggling. They accuse me of exaggerating and even outright lying about my feelings. I understand that it can be hard for someone who hasn't experienced these challenges themselves to understand, but it is extremely frustrating to feel like I am not being believed. Do you have any advice on how I can get through to my parents and get the support I need? – Lacking Validation

DEAR LACKING VALIDATION: Can you talk to the nurse at your school and ask for support there? Do you have access to your health insurance information? If so, the nurse may be able to help you find a mental health specialist who can support you. Likewise, if you have a pediatrician, you can ask the doctor to refer you to someone who can help. Of course, if you feel that you are in an emergency situation, you can reach out for help without insurance. You can call 988, which is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for 24-hour support.

As far as your parents go, they probably don’t understand mental health challenges. It may not be that they are intentionally brushing you off. A lot of people don’t have a sense of what mental illness looks like, as it is less tangible than a cold, flu or some other disease. Ask your parents to be kind and love you even if they don’t understand. Tell them what you need if you can -- a hug, restraint from dismissing your concerns, help finding a doctor -- but also find others who can help you if your parents are unable or unwilling.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My work colleague has a bad habit of constantly interrupting people midsentence, and it's beginning to wear thin on me. Even worse, she doesn't even realize she does it. She does this even when we're speaking with clients, which completely annoys them and everyone else in our meetings. I don't know how to approach this, as I am not her superior. How do I make her aware of this without coming off as rude? -- Let Me Finish

DEAR LET ME FINISH: Next time your colleague interrupts you, stop her. Say something like, “Hold on. I was saying something, and you interrupted me. Let me finish.” Privately, you can remind her of that moment and tell her that you have noticed that she regularly cuts people off. Tell her that you find it off-putting. Ask her to stop. If she shrugs it off, give her a couple of examples of when she has cut others off, including in meetings. Suggest that she wait to let people finish their sentences before she jumps in. She may or may not heed your advice, but you do not have to be her supervisor to attempt to support her and the rest of the team.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As you probably know and have seen on TV, there is a lot of pressure for college students to go out every weekend, and sometimes even during the week. I used to go out a lot last year, and I met so many people by frequenting the same bar. This year, though, I really do not find it that enjoyable, especially since I have no access to clubs. Not going out is a choice to make against peer pressure, but after ducking plans a lot, it starts to feel like I am missing out.

With Halloween coming up, I know I will be going out. Yet I still feel a bit sad about the friends I have not connected with in a while because I stay at home or just go to a friend’s house. Do you think I should go out maybe once every two weeks, or should I try to find a way to include those bar friends in my life in other ways? -- FOMO

DEAR FOMO: If the routine of every two weeks gives you a push to go out, try it for a month or two. Look to see what’s going on in your community, and select new activities so that you broaden your horizons. Pay attention at school to see if there are any people outside of your immediate friend group who are interesting, and check in to see what they are up to in the coming days. Expanding your friend group is another way to get you motivated. Regarding the friends you haven’t seen much, reach out to them one by one and plan a get-together. You could meet up on campus or choose some other spot where you can have fun and hear each other talk.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a guy last year who was in my extended group of friends. We always got along, and I could tell that he liked me, but he had a bit of a reputation. I went on a couple of dates with him last year before we went back home for summer. We had a lot of fun, but I could not take it seriously. Last week he asked me to go on another date, and I said yes. I had not seen him since the end of April, and I knew that I would have a good time. I would continue to go on dates with him because we get along very well, but due to his track record of getting around too much for my liking, I am not sure that I could ever take it seriously. Do you think I am leading him on by continuing to go out with him, or do you think it would be better if we make it clear that we are friends? -- Setting Boundaries

DEAR SETTING BOUNDARIES: Be brave and bring up the subject directly with him. He obviously likes you -- and you seem to like him, too. Tell him that you are somewhat apprehensive because of his reputation. Explain what is important to you in a relationship. If loyalty is high on the list, say so. If being in a committed relationship is important before there is any chance of any kind of intimacy, tell him that. Express your concern that if you two keep going out, things could naturally progress, but you don’t want to get closer if he is going to be messing around with other women. See what he says, and trust your instincts.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)