DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend has an ex-boyfriend she became quite obsessed with at the end of their relationship -- and after. She constantly checks his social media accounts to see what he is up to and to see if he is in a new relationship. One time he posted a picture of another girl on his Instagram, and my friend lost it for a couple days. She was really sad and wanted to reach out to him to “get closure,” but I know that she just wants to get back together. He has made it clear that their relationship is over but insisted that they could remain friendly.
As her friend, I can tell that this is not healthy for her. Thinking about him distracts her for the majority of the day. How should I suggest that she let this go? I cannot control what she does, nor would I want to, but in her best interest, I do not think that they should even be friends. How do I vocalize this without overstepping? -- Hung Up on Ex
DEAR HUNG UP ON EX: You can’t do much as long as your friend is obsessed with this man. She has allowed her mind and her heart to be swept up in him. Until that spell is broken, she won’t really be able to hear you. You can recommend that she see a therapist to help her get through this tough period. A trained professional can help her look at her choices and how they are impacting her life. She can gain tools for how to deal with extreme emotions.
As a friend, you can invite her to do things with you and others that may provide a distraction from this man. Stay close to her if you can. Your support should help her see she is not alone.